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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Jens Lallensack (talk · contribs) 23:06, 25 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Looks interesting. Will add comments below as I go. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 23:06, 25 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

  • Croghan took the opportunity to establish a trading post at Logstown. – lacks inline citation
  • First paragraph of "Early history" has several sentences without inline citation.
  • In late April 1745, Peter Chartier – would help to introduce these people at first mention: "fur trader Peter Chartier".
  • The etymology of the name seems a bit randomly placed in the middle of the chronology of the early history. I would expected this right at the beginning of the article. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 23:06, 25 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • The lead has information that do not appear in the article body (see WP:LEAD). This is also problematic since that information that is not repeated in the body has no source (e.g., the second paragraph of the lead). Maybe start the article with a dedicated section for this kind of basic information?
  • "The Bottoms upon the River below the Logg's Town very rich but narrow, the high Land pretty good but not very rich."[44] – Wasn't that already mentioned at the beginning of the previous quote?
  • Pierre Joseph Céloron de Blainville – introduce?
  • Ohio Company should be linked at first mention.
  • Washington was also ordered to make peace with the Iroquois Confederacy and to gather intelligence about the French forces. – Source?
  • Google Earth indicates a point 18 miles downriver from the Golden Triangle, next to a river, near Ambridge, PA, is at 40.622942, -80.226675. – Why is this relevant, I thought the location is no longer precisely known? The coordinates of the stone marker shown in the infobox picture would be more helpful to know. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 00:51, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • The next place is Loggstown, which was formerly a settlement on both sides of the Ohio, and the place where the Treaty of Lancaster was confirmed by the Western Indians – A bit confusing; it wasn't mentioned earlier that Logstown was the venue of the Lancaster treaty? Or is this an unclear fact that needs to be restricted to this particular quote?
  • Would be nice to have a little information on the current stone marker site shown in the infobox picture. It is not mentioned at all in the text. When was it erected?
  • @Cmacauley: That's it from my side, well-done article overall. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 11:31, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you very much, Jens Lallensack, for your thorough review. I will address all these issues during the next few days. Cmacauley (talk) 14:28, 26 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I have addressed each one of the points mentioned above, as indicated:
  • Croghan took the opportunity... has been deleted, as I could find no reliable source for this statement.
  • First paragraph of "Early history" has been edited so that all statements include proper citations.
  • Peter Chartier is now introduced as Pekowi Shawnee leader Peter Chartier.
  • A separate Etymology section has been created for information on the origins of the name "Logstown."
  • The lead paragraph has been edited to remove information which does not appear in the body of the article. A separate section on the location of Logstown has been created, which also includes information on the stone marker seen in the infobox.
  • "The Bottoms upon the River below..." The two statements from Christopher Gist referring to "the Bottoms" describe the river before Gist arrived at the town (upriver), and then after he left Logstown (downriver). I have added clarifying phrases to make this easily understood.
  • I have added background information to explain the reason for Pierre Joseph Céloron de Blainville's visit to Logstown.
  • Ohio Company is linked in the lead paragraph, but I have linked it again under Visit by Christopher Gist.
  • "Washington was also ordered to make peace..." I have added a citation for this statement.
  • "Google Earth indicates a point..." This section was deleted as it was confusing and superfluous. The coordinates of the stone marker are included in the infobox.
  • The next place is Loggstown, which was formerly a settlement on both sides of the Ohio, and the place where the Treaty of Lancaster was confirmed by the Western Indians. I have added clarifying information in the section on the Treaty of Logstown to explain this. The Treaty of Lancaster was signed at Lancaster, Pennsylvania in 1744 and confirmed at Logstown in the treaty conference of 1752, as there was anxiety on the part of the colonial authorities as to whether the Indians were still willing to abide by the treaty.
  • Information on the stone marker is included under Location.
  • @Jens Lallensack: I hope this satisfies the GA criteria for this article. Again, I want to thank you for taking the time to review it. Cmacauley (talk) 04:44, 30 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Nice, thanks for carefully addressing all comments. This completely satisfies all GA criteria, promoting now. --Jens Lallensack (talk) 00:16, 3 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]