Talk:Llandaff Cathedral/GA1
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 17:29, 18 May 2016 (UTC)
I'll have this to you soon JAGUAR 17:29, 18 May 2016 (UTC)
- I need to tell you something about the sources before you start. While working on this, I was able to use both Google Books and HathiTrust sources which are only full view in the US, so those will show up as limited search only. We hope (talk) 17:44, 18 May 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for the heads up! JAGUAR 18:10, 18 May 2016 (UTC)
Initial comments
[edit]- "the damage to the cathedral was so extensive that the church seriously considered removal of the see" - link Episcopal see here, as I didn't know what this meant!
- "the cathedral was severely damaged when a parachute mine was dropped blowing the roof off the nave" - this is a run-on. Try a semi-colon in between "dropped" and "blowing"
- "The cathedral was dedicated to St. Peter and St. Paul, St. Dubricius, St. Teilo and St. Oudoceus" - no full stops in "St" for British English. I don't mind if you ignore this as it's extremely pedantic! Maybe something to bear in mind for FAC
- "Sir David ap Mathew was 'Grand Standard Bearer of England'," - double quotes needed
- "granted under King Edward IV" - link Edward IV of England
- "for saving his life at the Battle of Towton, 29 March 1461 (War Of The Roses). [29]" - extra space before the citation. Also, I think this might sound more fluid as for saving his life at the Battle of Towton, as part of the War Of The Roses. (link War of Roses too)
- "Wood produced an Italian Temple" - does temple need to be capitalised?
- "attempt to transfer the see-this time to Bristol" - em dash needed
- "Edward VII, then Prince of Wales and the Marquess of Bute were among those" - Edward VII (then Prince of Wales), and the Marquess of Bute were among those
- "On the evening of 2 January 1941 during the Second World War the cathedral was severely damaged" - comma needed between "War" and "the"
- "and there was also damage to the organ" - delink organ here, as it's already been linked
- "Construction began of grander building under the orders" - a grander
- "but his wook on the temple was still not complete by 1752" - work
- "It wasn't until 1840 that in the wake of industrial development in Cardiff" - was not
- "who was able to hire Pre-Raphaelite artists" - should 'pre' be capitalised?
- The caption for the picture of the door ("The Door") could be a bit more descriptive, is it the main door on the front side etc?
- "but the costs of about 1 million pounds" - £1 million
- I notice that the Burials section has a "this list is incomplete" tag, might be worth just removing it. Something like this would never hold back a GAN
- No dead links
- No dab links either
Excellent work with this! I was keeping an eye on it when it was being written. I checked the majority of the references I could check as I went along, and I couldn't find any issues with that either. There is no major close paraphrasing, so that's looking good. Some of the suggestions I made were minor; like the full stop after "St" can definitely be ignored, but it's worth considering if you're planning to send this to FAC. Other than that it was pretty flawless! On hold. JAGUAR 23:23, 18 May 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks much, kind sir! I think I've gotten everything done on the list. ;-) We hope (talk) 00:59, 19 May 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for addressing them so quickly! Without further ado I'll promote this.
JAGUAR 13:45, 19 May 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for addressing them so quickly! Without further ado I'll promote this.
- Thanks much, kind sir! I think I've gotten everything done on the list. ;-) We hope (talk) 00:59, 19 May 2016 (UTC)