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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: DreamRimmerย (talk ยท contribs) 16:50, 4 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]



Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Comments

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Lead

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  • The album was released in 11 May 1970 by Decca and MCA in the United States, and by Track and Polydor in the United Kingdom. Replace "in" with "on" between "released" and "11 May" to correctly indicate the release date as "May 11, 1970.
Done the first, but not the second as that is American, not British English - see MOS:ENGVAR Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:17, 9 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Background

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  • According to biographer Chris Charlesworth, "a sixth sense seemed to take over", leading them to "a kind of rock nirvana that most bands can only dream about". This sentence is a bit fragmented. You can rephrase it like According to biographer Chris Charlesworth, "a sixth sense seemed to take over," leading them to achieve "a kind of rock nirvana that most bands can only dream about."
That doesn't seem to scan better to me.
  • The band were rehearsing and touring regularly, and Townshend had settled on using the Gibson SG Special as his main stage instrument; it allowed him to play faster than other guitars. Replace "were" with "was". Replace semicolon with "because". ...his main stage instrument because it allowed him to play...
No, that's American English, this article uses British English as it is about a British band see MOS:ENGVAR.
  • The group were concerned that Tommy had been promoted as 'high art' by manager Kit Lambert... "group" is a collective noun, and it should be treated as singular, so "was" should be used instead of "were."
See MOS:ENGVAR again.
  • The Leeds concert was booked and arranged by Simon Brogan, who later became an assistant manager on tour with Jethro Tull. Please ensures that both actions (booking and becoming an assistant manager) are presented in a parallel structure. Rephrase it something like Simon Brogan booked and arranged the Leeds concert, and he later became an assistant manager on tour with Jethro Tull.
I don't know why this is an issue, the former scans better for me
  • ...but ultimately chose to release just a single LP with six tracks. Replace "just" with "only" for better readability. Also you can add more clarity by specifying what "LP" stands for.
Changed to something different.

Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:20, 9 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Neutral

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Meets WP:NPOV.

Stable

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It is stable.

Coverage

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This article effectively covers all the essential aspects of the topic.

Images

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All of the files have proper licensing and are relevant to the topic.

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According to Earwig, the article's text closely matches content from these sources:

  • jazz-rock-fusion-guitar.blogspot.com (91.0% similarity)
  • circlekj.wordpress.com (90.6% similarity)
  • justfortherecord.co.nz (77.0% similarity)
  • reddit.com (76.4% similarity)

It's clear that these portions have been copied from Wikipedia. Therefore, I recommend adding the {{Backwards copy}} template to the article's talk page.

References

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Please fix following cite parameters.

  • |publisher=AllMusic, Replace "publisher" with "work"
  • |publisher=BBC Leeds, Replace "publisher" with "work"
  • |website=iTunes, Replace "website" with "publisher" and add "Store" after "iTunes (eg. |publisher=iTunes Store)
I don't like doing these, some random editor comes along and changes them later. Fortunately, they're not part of the GA criteriaย :-) The corollary to that is that I won't mind if you make these changes yourself if you think they're closer to what WP:ALBUMS suggests. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:21, 9 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]


  • Spot checks -
random refs spot checking...

Ref 2, good Ref 3, good Ref 7, good , Ref 15, good, ref 25, 26,27 good, ref 39, 40 ,58, 60,61 good (done)

I agree with you, and since some of these were optional suggestions, the decision was ultimately up to you. Now, I don't see any other issues. I'm passing it. ๐™ณ๐š›๐šŽ๐šŠ๐š–๐š๐š’๐š–๐š–๐šŽ๐š› ๐š๐š’๐šœ๐šŒ๐šž๐šœ๐šœ 14:28, 10 October 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.