Talk:Lionel Luthor/GA1
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A very nice article; I've only got a few comments/suggestions:
- Link Clark Kent with a surname on the first mention.
- I took care of this.
- The entire article switches between curly and straight quotation marks and apostrophes - whichever you choose, make it consistent.
- I took care of this. This is an issue with WORD. I usually write the articles in WORD first, and I cannot find a font in WORD that is the one used in the Wikipedia code.
- In 1989, Lionel and his son Lex come to Smallville, with Lionel intending to buy the Ross Creamed Corn company. Twelve years later, Lionel exiles his son to Smallville to run the local LuthorCorp fertilizer plant, as a test - regarding the "twelve years later", aren't they already in Smallville? Or was the '89 thing just a visit, or am I missing something?
- How does this sound - "In 1989, Lionel and his son Lex Luthor (Matthew Munn) come to visit Smallville, with Lionel intending to buy the Ross Creamed Corn company, when they are caught in a meteor shower that results in Lex loosing all of his hair. Twelve years later, Lionel exiles his son back to Smallville to run the local LuthorCorp fertilizer plant, as a test." - I added context, and clarified the fact that they were only visiting Smallville.
- Season three also saw Lionel diagnosed - present tense "also sees"?
- I corrected this.
- Lex Luthor's father appears in part one - surname is a bit jarring; he's mentioned just as "Lex" in the preceding sentence so not really necessary.
- You're right. I removed the surname and fix a type - "or" should have been "of".
- Luthor is not a billionaire and died in a fire - better keep calling him just "Lionel" as is done throughout the rest of the article; also kind of confusing with mentions of Lex as well.
- The point is that it isn't "Lionel". I'm not sure that his name is "Lionel" in that comic, that was why I kept it as the surname. I changed it to "Lex's father", and fixed a past tense issue with the sentence.
- "Portrayal" would be a more descriptive header than "John Glover", IMO. Your thoughts on that one?
- "Portrayal" sounds like it's just about his portrayal on Smallville, when it also covers the creation of the character. I don't know. I'll test it out and see what it looks like.
- Greg Beeman concedes that the character development failed - reading this without background, a reader would wonder "who the hell is Greg Beeman?"
- Identified Greg as the executive producer.
- Both Annette O’Toole and Al Gough agree - maybe an epithet for O'Toole as an unfamiliar reader wouldn't know her.
- I fixed this along with other issues when I was doing the quote mark issue. I went back and linked character pages and added the actors that portray those characters next to their names. So, Annette is linked with Martha in the "Storyline progression" section, above where it uses her name with Al Gough.
- It was also never the producer’s intentions - just one producer (Al Gough?) or more ("producers'")?
- Good catch. Fixed the plural possessive.
- Lincoln Coles actions in "Mercy" - should there be a possessive apostrophe somewhere in "Coles"?
- Yes, and I have added it in, along with the name of the actor.
- According to Caroline Dries - again, "who's that?"
- Identified her as the series writer.
- Refs 31 & 32 need publishers.
- Taken care of.
Otherwise, everything looks good. The article will be on hold for a week for you to make changes. Good luck :) —97198 (talk) 11:08, 22 October 2008 (UTC)
- Thank you for reviewing the article. I believe that I have taken care of all of your issues. BIGNOLE (Contact me) 13:26, 22 October 2008 (UTC)
- P.S. Before you decide one way or the other, I beef up the lead to be a little more encompassing of the article. You may want to read through that and see if you find anything that needs tweaking in there first. BIGNOLE (Contact me) 20:25, 22 October 2008 (UTC)
- Everything in the lead looks fine to me, as do all the changes. I'm happy to go with your choice between "John Glover" and "Portrayal" - you make a good point. As for the curly/straight apostrophes, it's not the font on Word, but the AutoFormat setting (like when you type in a lower case "i" and it corrects it to "I"). I'm not sure how to actually switch it off, but every time immediately you type an apostrophe (i.e. with no characters/spaces following), click Edit > Undo AutoFormat, which should un-curly it! A Word-whiz could probably tell you how to change the settings, but there's a way, even if it is annoying and somewhat time- and effort-consuming. :)
- Anyway, I'm happy to pass the article, well done. :) —97198 (talk) 09:24, 23 October 2008 (UTC)
- P.S. Before you decide one way or the other, I beef up the lead to be a little more encompassing of the article. You may want to read through that and see if you find anything that needs tweaking in there first. BIGNOLE (Contact me) 20:25, 22 October 2008 (UTC)