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Talk:Lindsay Lohan's Indian Journey/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewing

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Reviewer: Till (talk · contribs) 04:12, 16 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Checking against GA criteria

[edit]
  • produced and directed by Maninderpal Sahota --> typically directed comes before produced
  • The lead is too long. Try fitting everything in one paragraph or two small paragraphs.
  • but they also found --> a bit repetitive
  • Some POVs in synopsis, eg. "at least"
  • Bharti Ali, Director of the NGO Centre for Child Rights --> comma at the end
  • Two months later --> same as above
  • Kate Redman from Save the Children UK --> same as above
  • Basic facts such as the length of the documentary are omitted from the article.
  • Sahota said he thought Lohan chose to participate as a result of "working in an adult world since she was ten, she feels childhood is precious, and when you lose one you can never replace those years". --> Could use a c/e, also quotes must be directly sourced
  • While in India Lohan posted on message on her Twitter account stating --> also needs c/e
  • but they also found --> same as earlier
  • Any pics you could add to the article?
  • Amelia Gentleman commented in The Guardian --> it would be better to explicitly say that she's from The Guardian
  • About the documentary she said that --> awkward
  • Another review in The Guardian by Sam Wollaston consisted of a satirical letter ostensibly written by Lohan --> what does this mean?
  • Again, quotes need to be directly sourced
  • He said that rather than highlight the crime of trafficking --> comma at end
  • References are in bad condition:
    • Ref. #2 --> don't need the " | Media | guardian.co.uk " bit, and it's The Guardian, not Guardian. Also needs publisher (Guardian Media Group)
    • Ref. #3 --> Capital T for time?
    • Ref. #5 --> Publisher?
    • Ref. #7 --> same as #2
    • Remove the locations such as London. They aren't needed.
    • Ref. #9 --> UsMagazine.com is Us Magazine. And publisher?
    • Ref. #10 --> same as #2 and #7
    • Ref. #11 --> no need for '.com' and publisher is Salon Media Group
    • Ref. #12 --> same as #2, #7 and #10
    • Ref. #13 --> same as above
    • Ref. #14 --> Publisher?
    • Ref. #15 --> same as above
    • Ref. #16 --> Indepdenent News & Media for publisher.
  • You should archive the URLs.
  • Perhaps the article's main contributor should have some input here?

Overall

[edit]
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:
On hold for seven days. Till 04:12, 16 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]
As most of the issues have been fixed, I'm passing this article. Good job~ Till 10:40, 16 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]