Talk:Leigh Saufley/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Damien Linnane (talk · contribs) 05:48, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I tend to make minor edits myself; if you disagree with any of them feel free to revert and we can instead discuss them here. My changes can be found here: [1]. Basically just ensuring the article adhered to MOS:AMP and some light copy editing. The issues I've found that need addressing are as follows:

"becoming one of the first female deputy attorneys general" - this is followed by three sources, only one of which uses the term "deputy attorneys general". I'm wondering if it's a typo though. Is it supposed to be Deputy Attorney General (no plural)? Or deputy to the attorney general? Just clarifying as it doesn't look right.

I'm a little unclear here but I think I made it a little better? Just trying to say that among Maine deputy attorneys general, she was one of the first females. Light&highbeautyforever (talk) 01:29, 1 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

"Saufley was an advocate for the Maine court system, including alternative court systems and the juvenile justice system" - This is all a bit vague. What does being an advocate for the Maine court system mean? Also was the court system recommending alternative court systems and she was supportive of that? Or was she supporting alternatives on her own? And are you trying to say she was an advocate of the juvenile justice system, or an advocate for alternatives to the juvenile justice system? And in either case can you clarify that some more?

Added some info from one of the external link sources, I think that clarifies? Light&highbeautyforever (talk) 01:29, 1 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

'credited her with "refocusing" the family law courts, especially in the area of domestic violence, and "strengthening" adult, juvenile and family drug treatment courts.' - Is there any chance you can flesh this out a little? As in providing some examples of how she refocused or strengthened them? Again its a bit vague. Damien Linnane (talk) 06:11, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Took this out as I think the revision addressed in the last bullet also hit this one. Light&highbeautyforever (talk) 01:29, 1 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Can you introduce Wikilinks, wherever possible, into the Awards and Honours section? One possible example I'm seeing is International Women's Forum.
Have a read of Wikipedia:External links. I think your external links section is a bit bloated. In particular, a press release and an article praising the subject should be integrated into the article itself, rather than being placed here. I'm also not seeing a reason to link to the University of Maine School of Law or the Maine Supreme Judicial Court websites. The respective Wikipedia articles on those subjects can link to them.

Done. Light&highbeautyforever (talk) 01:29, 1 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Light&highbeautyforever. This article looks pretty good overall. I've pointed out a few issues above that need addressing. Spot checks for sources have also yet to be done but I'll do that once the outstanding prose and formatting issues are addressed. Have a look at the concerns and let me know if you have any questions regarding them. Damien Linnane (talk) 06:35, 27 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you so much! This is excellent feedback and I am very grateful. I will look the page over asap. Light&highbeautyforever (talk) 01:13, 28 May 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Okay Damien Linnane I think it's ready for another look-over. Light&highbeautyforever (talk) 01:32, 1 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Really happy with all the changes. Well done. Happy to pass this now. :) Damien Linnane (talk) 07:42, 1 June 2021 (UTC)[reply]