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Talk:Landing at Scarlet Beach/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Parsecboy (talk · contribs) 12:21, 17 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article. Parsecboy (talk) 12:21, 17 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Intro/general comments

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  • It took a bit too long to find out where this landing took place (and if I didn't know where Finschhafen was from my work on German colonial cruisers in the 1890s-1910s, I'd have had to have gone further). I'd suggest something along the lines of "... took place during the Huon Peninsula campaign fought in Papua-New Guinea in the Second World War."
    checkY done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:31, 17 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • The lead section seems to be a bit too detailed. For instance, we don't need to know the specific breakdown of the Japanese air raid - I'd shorten that bit to something like "The Japanese launched a retaliatory air raid on the ships of the VII Amphibious Force, but US fighter aircraft defended the convoy and no ships were hit. Nevertheless, continued Japanese air attacks over the course of the battle inflicted numerous casualties." Of course that's just an idea of the level of detail I'd say is warranted.
    checkY done. I find leads very difficult to write. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:31, 17 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • There are a number of dupe links. You might have Ucucha's tool, but if not, it's pretty useful.
    checkY Got it. Removed them. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:33, 17 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Prelude

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  • Is Ultra correct? My understanding was that Ultra referred only to Enigma decrypts and that Japanese decrypts were referred to as Magic. But that could be an Americanism.
    checkY Ultra is correct. It refers to all decrypts. Magic was for the Japanese diplomatic codes. After Pearl Harbor, Magic was mostly used in the European Theatre, where the Japanese ambassador's signals were decrypted. SWPA had its own codebreaking units. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:44, 17 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • The acronym SWPA is used but not explained, as far as I can tell.
    checkY Added. Hawkeye7 (talk) 21:44, 17 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Landing

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Advance on Finschhafen

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  • "Meanwhile, D Company of the 2/17th Infantry Battalion had moved along the track to Sattelberg with the intent of capturing that position. It reported that it was unoccupied, but in fact had captured Jivevenang instead. When the mistake was realised and it attempted to take Sattelberg, it was found to be strongly defended." - a lot of "it"s here that make it hard to track what's going on.
    checkY Meanwhile, D Company of the 2/17th Infantry Battalion had moved along the track to Sattelberg with the intent of capturing that position. D Company reported that Sattelberg was unoccupied, but in fact had captured Jivevenang, not Sattelberg.
  • "By evening the Finschhafen was..." - something missing here?
    checkY Deleted "the" Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:21, 17 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...and buried 52 Japanese defenders" - makes it sound like they were buried alive.
    checkY buried the bodies of 52 dead Japanese defenders

Images

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