Talk:L. Patrick Gray/GA2

GA Review

Hi. I'm going to review this GA nom! Intothewoods29 (talk) 20:35, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Well, I'm going to put this article On Hold for several reasons:

Is it really that relevant to L. Patrick Gray's biography to include a thing on Deep Throat in the lead? Consider putting something more relevant in as the third lead paragraph.

This seems to have ben moved. However, please note that I'll be editing the introductory paragraph some more in the next couple days. (Morethan3words (talk) 18:33, 7 August 2008 (UTC))[reply]

In Early Career, it says he attended Rice University for four years, but later you say he dropped out his senior year, making it 3 years?

I've removed any reference to how many years he actually atended Rice, I guess a truly accurate number would be somewhere in between 3 and 4, but since it's not really relevant, I've just deleted it. (Morethan3words (talk) 18:33, 7 August 2008 (UTC))[reply]

In Early Career, you name all these courts tthat he was admitted to; was it all at the same time, or separate times? if the latter, specify that it was one after the other, etc.

I've added a citation for this information, which is the oficial FBI biography of Gray. As it is now, the sentence reads pretty much exactly how this Bio provides it, and I can't find any publication that provides more detail than what we have already. Therefore, I think all we can really do is leave it more or less as is at this point, any suggestions would be welcome. (Morethan3words (talk) 18:33, 7 August 2008 (UTC))[reply]

The second picture (the helicopter) in the Watergate box doesn't seem to have a tag except for a red tag... go check that out.

I've changed the tag for this to indicate it is PD as the photographer was the White House staff photographer at the time and therefore the photo is a work of the US Government, i.e., part of the PD. (Morethan3words (talk) 18:33, 7 August 2008 (UTC))[reply]

The paragraph beginning "After Felt admitted in the May, 2005 ..." should be moved down in the article so that the Watergate section is roughly in chronological order.

I was thinking about this and looking at the article again, and I think I want to do a bit more of a major re-organization. His autobiography goes pretty in depth not just in the Watergate investigation, but also some of the other stuff he was doing in the FBI, and I think the article should reflect that a bit more, so I'll be making some major changes to this part of the article over the weekend. Therefore, I would appreciate if you could come back sometime next week and re-review it in light of these changes, which I hope will also address your concerns here, and I'll try to keep things in chronological order to the extent possible. (Morethan3words (talk) 18:33, 7 August 2008 (UTC))[reply]

BIGGEST PROBLEM: This is a biography of Gray, and you don't include anything about his family! You briefly mention his parent and his son, but nothing else! If it was an article about Gray's career, then it might be okay, but as it is, it won't pass unless you add much more.

Good point, I think his autobiography talks about how he met and married his wife, his kids, etc., so I'll add some of this in over the weekend. Oh yeah, and one of those obits must talk about his survivors. Anyway, I'll look into it over the weekend. (Morethan3words (talk) 18:33, 7 August 2008 (UTC))[reply]

Good luck! Tell me when you want me to look it over again. If nothing substantial happens in a while, I'm going to delist this from WP:GAC. Intothewoods29 (talk) 21:04, 5 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I find it troublesome that 16 of the 18 references come from a single source. Shouldn't the article have a more well rounded perspective? Furthermore, a good portion of the article is more concerned with Felt rather than Gray. Double Fanucci (talk) 01:29, 7 August 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Well, for one, the 16 references are his autobiography, which is about as authoritative as you can get when writing about someone's life. Although, I see what you're saying, and I think there are some cited statements that are provided in more than one location, so I can move the citations around to try and even it out a little bit. But please recognize that there is an awful lot of information about this guy that is only available in his autobiography, such as nearly all of the early career section and the entire section on his documents. (Morethan3words (talk) 18:33, 7 August 2008 (UTC))[reply]

Ug, I apologize, but this weekend turned into a mad house for me and I barely even had time to check my e-mail. Please continue the HOLD for a little longer as I will try to find time to work on this later today. (Morethan3words (talk) 04:38, 11 August 2008 (UTC))[reply]

Okay, as you can see, I've made some pretty substantial additions, including a section on his family, as well as a bit of a re-organization and filling out of his FBI years. I would like some input from you guys, I want to add a section talking about some of the work he did during the FBI that is non-Watergate related, such as admitting women as special agents for the first time, increasing the number of minority special agents, the Wounded Knee incident, al Fatah, etc. any ideas where a good place to plug that in would be? Any other suggestions are welcome. (Morethan3words (talk) 21:17, 11 August 2008 (UTC))[reply]