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Talk:L.A.P.D. (band)/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

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Reviewer: Rp0211 (talk) 00:07, 28 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hey, CrowzRSA. After reviewing this article, I have decided to fail it for a good article at this time, because it has many issues that cannot be fixed in a week. If it had issues that could be fixed in a week, I would put the article on hold, while the issues are fixed. I suggest you fix all of the issues listed below, and once they are fixed, you are more than welcome to reapply this article for another good article nomination. Rp0211 (talk) 01:08, 28 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Major Issues

  • Most of the article sources are not reliable, and link to somewhere on the Wikipedia article.
  • The "References", "Discography", and "Members" sections are not properly formatted.
  • There are several points where better wording is needed.
  • There are only two images in the article.
  • Many points in the article where details are not specific enough.

Issues

  • "...band hired a man named Arthur as their manager..." (what is his last name?)
  • "...have formed solo project..." (project needs to be plural)
  • "The group asked Pete Capra to perform vocals for their band, and he joined." (needs detail on how he joined)
  • "In order to leave Bakersfield, Silveria had to drop out of high school, and did." (bad grammar and needs reliable source)
  • "L.A.P.D. was performing at several gigs in Hollywood..." (needs better wording)
  • "...a local man known as Arthur..." (last name?)
  • "The company offered them a contract after seeing them in concert." (needs reliable source)
  • "Although it was a "pitiful" contract, L.A.P.D. still signed and began recording their album." (needs neutral point-of-view and reliable source)
  • "The album was not distributed properly by the record company, which left the group broke." (needs better wording)
  • "...left the band a was replaced..." (check wording)
  • "After the show, the remaining band members..." (what show?)
  • "...two of which, peaking number one..." (better wording needed)
  • "...released a solo album entitled Rock'n Roll Gangster on January 22, 2002." (reliable source needed)
  • "...and their full–length studio album, Who Laughing Now." (plural needed)
  • "In 2010, now based in Denver, Richard Morrill..." (better word arrangement needed)
  • ..."with a whole new lineup and a completely different sound." (not neutral point-of-view)
  • "Leaving the funk influences behind, the band now focuses on rap metal." (needs reliable source)
  • "Bradley Torreano noted that the band was..." (name company; ex: what magazine, what newspaper, etc.)
  • "Arvizu describes L.A.P.D.'s music..." (say who he is; ex: lead singer, etc.)

Comment

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This superficial and inaccurate review is extremely flawed. i recommend immediate renomination at GAN so that an experienced reviewer can look at this. –– Jezhotwells (talk) 20:06, 28 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

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