Talk:Kowloon Walled City/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: LT910001 (talk · contribs) 07:08, 3 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

If there are no objections, I'll take this review. I'll note at the outset I've had no role in editing or creating this article. I welcome other editors at any stage to contribute to this review. I will spend a day familiarising myself with the article and then provide an assessment. While you wait, why not spare a thought for the other nominees, and conduct a review or two yourself? This provides excellent insight into the reviewing process, is enjoyable and interesting. A list can be found here Kind regards, LT910001 (talk) 07:08, 3 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for taking this on LT910001! I love working at GAN, and plan to spend more time there in the future. Cheers — MusikAnimal ^talk 13:35, 3 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for waiting. In conducting this review, I will:

Provide an assessment using WP:GARC
If this article does not meet the criteria, explain what areas need improvement.
Provide possible solutions that may (or may not) be used to fix these.

Assessment

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	Prose is very easy to read
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	Comprehensive and well-written
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	Addressed
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).	Addressed
	2c. it contains no original research.
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
	7. Overall assessment.	An excellent article that deserves GA status

Commentary

This is an excellent and well-written article, I've always been interested in this strange city that was once on the edge of HK, and thanks for your efforts bringing it to this stage. There are a few minor problems, and this list is by no means prescriptive, so feel free in your responses:

One image problem. This image has a tag: File:Victoria City and Kowloon 1915.jpg
I have added {{PD-1923}} to indicate it is also in the public domain in the United States. The {{PD-old-70}} template itself contains the visible tag, which apparently cannot be removed. — MusikAnimal ^talk 18:11, 6 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Some sourcing problems:

Page number is missing from the fourth source (Hong Kong University Press. pp. 59–?. ISBN 978-962-209-792-6.)
That page alone is meant to be cited. I guess the refToolbar assumes multiple pages and appends the dash, which I've removed. — MusikAnimal ^talk 17:56, 6 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Same goes for this source, perhaps I'm not aware of what convention you're using? Martin Booth (14 November 2006). Golden Boy: Memories of a Hong Kong Childhood. St. Martin's Press. pp. 131–. ISBN 978-1-4668-1858-3.
Just page 131, dash character removed. — MusikAnimal ^talk 17:56, 6 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
It would be good if you could include an ISBN for the first source ( Wilkinson, Julia. "A Chinese Magistrate's Fort". In City of Darkness: Life in Kowloon Walled City. pp. 60–71.), if one exists.
Done. — MusikAnimal ^talk 17:56, 6 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
This source is just a link, and should be filled out: ""Inside the Kowloon Walled City where 50,000 residents eked out a grimy living in the most densely populated place on earth"."
Done. — MusikAnimal ^talk 17:56, 6 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"In addition to such accounts, many authors, game designers, and filmmakers have used the Walled City to convey a sense of oppressive urbanisation or unfettered criminality." uncited (based on what you have written I am sure there is a citation ready)
This summarizing statement is merely intended to help transition into the subsequent paragraphs, which verify the claim. We could move it the beginning of the following paragraph or remove it altogether. — MusikAnimal ^talk 17:56, 6 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"The 1993 film Crime Story starring Jackie Chan was partly filmed in the deserted Walled City, and includes real scenes of building explosions" is cited with a dead link.
Archive url added. — MusikAnimal ^talk 17:56, 6 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Other:

Am not too sure about what the accepted transliteration scheme for Cantonese is, but shouldn't "Kowloon Walled City Park (Chinese: 九龍寨城公園; pinyin: Jiǔlóng zhài chéng gōngyuán), " be given with a Cantonese rather than Mandarin transliteration, as the local dialect is Cantonese
I did not add any of the Chinese translations, and am also uncertain of any relevant standards. I used an online translator to obtain the Jyutping transliteration, which I've added. — MusikAnimal ^talk 17:56, 6 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Because apartments were so small — about 60% were 23 m2 (250 sq ft) " Yikes! Do you mean "At most 23m2?" or 60% were exactly 23m2?
I did not add this, and a visit to the library would be required to determine the intention. Sadly I don't have that in me, so I have removed the statistic. I do not think the exact size is critical to the understanding. — MusikAnimal ^talk 17:56, 6 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"wider upper floors" not too clear what this means?
I have attempted to clarify the meaning. There is some some finite allotted space at ground level, so the buildings were modified to grow wider as they go up, taking advantage of "air space". The lack of natural light in the streets below is much attributed to this unconventional layout. — MusikAnimal ^talk 17:56, 6 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Based on this survey, the Walled City had a population density of approximately 1,255,000 inhabitants per square kilometre (3,250,000 /sq mi) in 1987." /sq mi -> per square mile
- As a note, I don't consider this OR as it is using data given already in the article.
Yes, this figure was calculated from data provided in the reference. I have moved the inline citation to the end for clarification. — MusikAnimal ^talk 17:56, 6 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I am sure this article will get to GA, and look forward to your responses. Kind regards, --LT910001 (talk) 06:03, 6 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the feedback! — MusikAnimal ^talk 17:56, 6 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Conclusion

Thanks for your prompt changes, they address my concerns. This meets or exceeds all the criteria for GA and so I'm marking it as promoted. Well done on creating such an interesting and well-written article! --LT910001 (talk) 01:34, 7 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! Much credit owed to Tktktk and Underbar dk :) — MusikAnimal ^talk 01:48, 7 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, both of you! I had considered submitting this for review as a good article a couple of years ago but it kind of fell off my radar. I appreciate the work you put in to get it past the finish line! —tk tk tk 04:06, 7 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]