Talk:Kinneloa Fire/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Penitentes (talk · contribs) 17:48, 15 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 20:48, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I'm GhostRiver. I'll be reviewing this article against the good article criteria. By doing so, I am earning points for the WikiCup and the January 2025 GAN Backlog Drive. Although a quid pro quo review is not necessary, it is appreciated. You can see what open good article nominations I have here.

I will go through the article section by section checking it against the criteria. Once I have finished my review, I will place the article on hold, giving you seven days to respond. If you need more time, just reach out! While I'll always put the article on hold once it's ready for you to look at, you may start making changes before I complete my review. — Ghost River 20:48, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

"October of 1993"
"one of the most destructive wildfires ~~ever~~ in Los Angeles County"
details on fatalities can be confined to the body
the third paragraph should be worked into the body somewhere, probably under the "effects" header

Background

Per MOS:SEASON, season names like "autumn" and "winter" should be avoided in favor of clear calendar designations
First sentence should also read "By [time]" rather than "In [time]", as the six years of drought led up to this time frame
Would link the phrase full six years of severe drought to Droughts in California
What kind of "species" are chamize and manzanita? (Being facetious, clarify that they are plants and not beasties)
which comprise chaparral: one of the most fire-prone plant communities, containing flammable oils and resins slow to rot or decay → which comprise chapparal, the flammable oils of which and resins slow to rot or decay make it one of the most fire-prone plant communities
Link Santa Ana winds
forecast Santa Ana winds. Santa Ana winds are a regular → forecast Santa Ana winds—a regular
Combine the paragraphs starting "The red flag warnings" and "Studies of historical charcoal records," they're part of the same thought

Progression

October 27

While Huang's homelessness is relevant to the story (as he needed to warm himself while rough sleeping), his schizophrenia does not need to be included in this part, and I cannot find it mentioned in the attached reference
The second sentence can be cut and its information melded into the rest of the paragraph. Something like: The Kinneloa Fire began before dawn on the morning of October 27, 1993, on the slopes of the San Gabriel Mountains above northeastern Altadena. The homeless Andres Huang, 35, was sleeping in a small grove of pine trees adjacent to the Mount Wilson Toll Road (a dirt road typically used by hikers), roughly halfway between Eaton Canyon and Henninger Flats. He woke up feeling cold and built a small fire from pine needles and twigs to warm himself.
Wrong abbreviation for the LACFD when first introduced
It quickly became clear that the incident, quickly dispatched as the Kinneloa Fire, had the potential to become a major incident. Remove the second "quickly"
By 4:45 a.m., the fire was still only three acres. Needs a citation
A lot of the instances of "began to" could be cut: Wind gusts spread the fire rapidly. The fire moved down Eaton Canyon. Arrived on scene to drop water.
engine strike teams (a strike team consists of five engines) → strike teams of five fire engines
and one moved south → and the other moved south
replace parentheticals around "some only 18 feet (5.5 m) wide" with em dashes to avoid double parentheticals
remove parentheticals around for lack of funds
no comma needed after left for the Laguna Fire
to hook up to fire hydrants → to connect to fire hydrants
In the afternoon, the Santa Ana winds subsided. → The Santa Ana winds subsided by the afternoon.

October 28–31

write out "to" in subhead
weaker than the October 27–28 episode, but still concerning to firefighters → though weaker than the October 27–28 episode, the report still concerned firefighters
Can paraphrase the quote from the officer

Effects

Casualties

the Sheriff's Department said → the Sheriff's Department reported
a few ways to rewrite this but it's assumed father and son will share a last name, so only one needs to be included
link flash flood

Damage

One hundred and twenty-one of those structures were houses, and they included → Of these, 121 were houses, including
"Bill Clinton ~~in a speech~~ declared"
commas around "including Los Angeles County" instead of parentheses
you already introduced the acronym FEMA in the last section, so you can shorten Witt's title accordingly
optional: include inflation calculations for the damage amounts
"At the time, the Kinneloa Fire was the twelfth most destructive"
"since fallen ~~well out of the top 20 statewide~~"
per MOS:CURRENTLY, add a caveat of "as of 2024" for its current place in wildfire destructiveness

Post-fire landscape impacts

see above comment about the use of seasons
and non-native rye grass (which environmentalists opposed). → and rye grass, the latter of which environmentalists opposed as it was not native to the area.
include conversion from cubic yard to cubic meter

Legal proceedings

first sentence of the second paragraph can be removed, and the first two paragraphs can be combined
clean up Huang's story a bit. something like: Originally a successful local official in China, he became disillusioned by the Chinese Communist Party in the aftermath of the 1989 Tiananmen Square protests and massacre. Huang fled to Peru, leaving his wife and daughter, and worked for an electronics company in Lima. In 1993, he volunteered to establish a U.S. branch of the company and arrived in Los Angeles with a worker's visa.

References and links

Wrap the two bullet points in the "See also" section into one: Station Fire (2009) and Bobcat Fire (2020), subsequent fires in the area

General comments

No stability concerns, nominator is a significant contributor
Images are properly licensed and relevant to the article
Copyvio score looks good, only flag is a direct quote