Talk:Kepler-9b/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Jappalang (talk) 01:23, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality:

   Mostly clear, but with possible improvements as pointed below.

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

   Not too enamored with the mass of links for See also

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. References to sources:

   B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

   B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

   On hold, pending resolution of prose comments

Lede

• "Kepler-9b is one of the first exoplanets discovered by NASA's Kepler Mission, and is located around the star Kepler-9 in the first extrasolar system discovered to have multiple transiting planets. It is the largest planet yet discovered in the Kepler-9 system, and has a mass slightly smaller than that of Saturn's."

  This article might have lost several readers with that first sentence. They would have clicked on "exoplanets" and never come back. It would have been better to define the term than to rely on it; furthermore, "the star ... in the first extrasolar system ..." is kind of awkward, and "transiting" is the detection methodology (and use of its definition as an adjective is like a jargon, possibly confusing to layman readers). Suggest: "Kepler-9b is one of the first planets discovered outside the solar system (exoplanets) by NASA's Kepler Mission. It revolves around the star Kepler-9 within the constellation Lyra. Kepler-9b is the largest of three planets detected in the Kepler system by transit method; its mass is slight smaller than the solar system's Saturn."

Alright. I took your suggestion and tweaked it a bit. How does it look? --Starstriker7^(Talk) 01:59, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

I am not too enamored with leaving out clarifying Saturn (and likewise later Jupiter), but arguments can be made that our system's celestial bodies are common knowledge to any one that would come read the project, so this can be left as future improvement or ignored. Jappalang (talk) 05:54, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

Nomenclature and history

• "... star Kepler-9. Kepler-9, in turn ...": Two "Kepler-9"s in a row is a bit repetitive.

Fixed. --Starstriker7^(Talk) 02:01, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

• "The system in particular was flagged as one of five systems that appeared to have held more than one transiting exoplanet.", "It was the part of the first confirmed star system in which multiple planets transited the same star."

  Similar to the issue in the lede, by using "transiting" as the adjective, this article is cast into a niche—astronomy. Use "transit" in its context, e.g. "The system in particular was flagged as one of five systems that appeared to have more than one exoplanet detected by transit method.", "It was the part of the first confirmed star system in which multiple planets were detected to transit the star."

The concept is explained later on in the section, so it doesn't really rely totally on the detection methods article. --Starstriker7^(Talk) 02:01, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

Generally, one does not launch a technical term without explaining it first (the "putting the cart before the horse" analogy comes to mind). However, since this is a short article and the lede already states the transit method, this can be overlooked. Jappalang (talk) 05:54, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

See also

• The See also section might as well be a single List of planets detected in Kepler Mission. This can also be reduced to a navigation template {{Planets detected in Kepler Mission}} instead. A mass of such links is unwieldy and does not bear great relevance to the subject (they are linked simply because they are detected in the mission).

The list of planets already exists on the Kepler Mission page, so I won't create a new one. It has been removed, though. --Starstriker7^(Talk) 01:53, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

-- Jappalang (talk) 01:23, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

Congratulations, I am judging this article as Good. Please take note that one should not strike another's comments; let the commentator strike it him- or herself. Jappalang (talk) 05:54, 18 February 2011 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.