Talk:Keith Aulie/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:50, 28 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
Fails lead. Lead should be 3 paragraphs
when I check the MOS ([[1]]), I see 1-2 paragraphs for an article of less than 15 000 characters, and this one checks in at just over 5000. Am I looking in the wrong place? I can adjust, if that's the case.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
Slam sports! give user the doubt. But still sounds fandoming to me.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Phaneuf full name and wiki link

It is in the previous paragraph, discussing the trade. I've usually kept it to a single full name mention in the same section / subsection.

Aulie had his first NHL fight against Scott Hartnell of the Philadelphia Flyers. His performance earned him the nickname "Muhammad Aulie. Link the sentence better. Jumpy betwween subjects

Agreed, combined to a single sentence which I think flows better.

Aulie's parents are Bill and Karen. He has a younger sister, Krystal.[6] In December 2006, Aulie's father was using a tractor to clear snow off a frozen dugout in anticipation of an outdoor shinny game on New Year's Day. The ice could not support the weight of the tractor, and he fell through. Aulie was able to pull his father out of the water and get him to safety. The Canadian Red Cross honoured Aulie with their Rescuer Award for his act.[16] While in high school, Aulie also played volleyball, winning a provincial championship.[15] When not in Brandon, Aulie attended high school at Athol Murray College of Notre Dame in Wilcox.[6]

Too many subject changes reorganise. Probably Family, high school, vollyball, rescue would read better. Obvious better linking though

Rearranged this, hopefully it is better now.

Thanks for the review - I appreciate it. :) Canada Hky (talk) 23:32, 22 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Since KnowIG was indef-blocked, I'll take over this review. I'll post my comments in a couple days. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:50, 28 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

After reading through the article again, it looks like KnowIG hit on any issues the article had, so I'll pass the article as a GA. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 02:43, 29 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]