Talk:K. T. Oslin/GA1
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Reviewer: Z1720 (talk · contribs) 23:59, 2 July 2021 (UTC)
I will be reviewing this article within the next couple of hours. Please ping me here if you have any questions or concerns. Thanks! Z1720 (talk) 23:59, 2 July 2021 (UTC)
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) |
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Some comments to be resolved before this can be promoted:
- "Oslin released This Woman (1988) and Love in a Small Town (1990), which became successful. The albums spawned hit singles including "Hold Me," "Hey Bobby" and "Come Next Monday."" -> Oslin released This Woman (1988) and Love in a Small Town (1990), which spawned hit singles including "Hold Me," "Hey Bobby" and "Come Next Monday." The album's success is assumed if there were many hit singles and "they were successful" is perhaps too general.
- @Z1720: Done. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- "the studio effort" What is a studio effort? I suggest rephrasing.
- @Z1720: Done ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- The lede says, "Oslin was raised mostly in Houston, Texas by her widowed mother." But the body says, " The family moved to Mobile, Alabama following her father's death, which is where Oslin spent her childhood. When she was a teenager, her mother moved her family to Houston, Texas, where she would eventually graduate from high school." These don't feel like they match.
- @Z1720: I tried to make this clearer on both sides. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- The lede says, "Oslin was raised moved with her mother following the death of her father." I think there's too many verbs. Z1720 (talk) 02:59, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- @Z1720: I tried to make this clearer on both sides. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- "However, it was in college where Oslin developed a further musical interest." I think this can be deleted, and instead say that she developed a musical interest with folk music in the next sentence.
- @Z1720: I followed your suggestion. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- "The trio eventually recorded a song for a 1963 folk compilation titled Look, It's Us!." Is the period part of the album title? If not, it should be removed per MOS:CONSECUTIVE
- @Z1720: Removed the period, that was a typo. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- "United States for sales over one million copies." -> "for selling over one million copies"?
- @Z1720: Fixed. Another typo that I did not see. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- "was beginning to take a toll" Sounds a little MOS:IDIOM, I'd prefer if it was more specific about how it was affecting her. If this is not possible, perhaps something like "negatively affecting her." or "negatively affecting her mental health" (if the latter is verified by the source.)
- @Z1720: I re-worded as "negatively affecting her mental health" ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- "and two more charting singles on the country songs charts in North America." which singles? Be specific or remove.
- @Z1720: I chose to be specific and named the singles. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- " The record received mixed responses." The responses featured don't seem to be negative at all. If being pop-sounding is a negative critique, this should be specified.
- @Z1720: Okay, I just removed it. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- " on the big screen" -> "in a film" to remove MOS:IDIOM
- @Z1720: Fixed ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- "Movie reviewer Roger Ebert gave the film only one star in his review." Did he talk about her performance? If so, add info about it, and if not, delete as it feels WP:TRIVIA
- @Z1720: I just removed it since he doesn't talk about her. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- " It was received unfavorably by Allmusic, who only rated it 2.5 stars.[43] However, Robert K. Oermann of Music Row commented that the album showcased how Oslin was an example of the "emerging Americana music movement."" It seems weird and possibly POV that a positive quote is used here, but not a negative one. Why did Allmusic only give the album 2.5 stars?
- @Z1720: I was not intentionally trying to make it POV, it was just a hard review to synthesize. Anyways, I added some more detail here to explain further. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- The extra quote about the Nashville element helps bring this to NPOV. Z1720 (talk) 02:59, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- @Z1720: I was not intentionally trying to make it POV, it was just a hard review to synthesize. Anyways, I added some more detail here to explain further. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- "Our thoughts go out to her loved ones at this difficult time." I don't think this part of the quote is necessary, as it doesn't talk about her legacy but is condolences from the person being quoted.
- @Z1720: Fair point, I removed it. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- "virtually every major song publisher in Music City has female staff writers." Is music city referring to Nashville? If so, I would add square brackets explaining this.
- @Z1720: Fair enough, brackets have been added. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- New York Post (ref 56) is considered unreliable and should be replaced or removed.
- @Z1720: Changed to CMT. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
Those are all my comments. Once these are addressed, please ping me and I will look at this again. Z1720 (talk) 00:50, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- @Z1720:I have made all the necessary changes. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- @ChrisTofu11961: Unfortunately, every time a ping template was added above, Wikipedia sent me a new notification, so I got 16 notifications at the same time! In the future, please just ping a user once, as I have done here. Responses have been posted above, with one thing to fix in the lede. Z1720 (talk) 02:59, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- @Z1720:I have made all the necessary changes. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 02:38, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- @Z1720: Done. ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 03:06, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- This is a pass! Congrats. Let me know if there are any questions or concerns. Z1720 (talk) 03:15, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- @Z1720: Thank you! ChrisTofu11961 (talk) 03:23, 3 July 2021 (UTC)