Talk:Jules Olitski

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I assume this is how I get in touch with whomever put those "needs improvement" banners across the top of the "Jules Olitski" article I wrote.

Can someone be more specific information about what the problems are?

Thank you.

Wbannard@aol.com

You may want to take a look at other Wikipedia biographical articles, or our Manual of Style. You might also want to try adopting a neutral tone. This reads like a puff piece by his agent, not a neutral, encyclopedic article. Fan-1967 19:24, 24 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I think "a puff piece by his agent" is an inappropriate comment. The mention of him as innovative with acrylics is acknowledged to be the case, but I can tone it down if necessary. The quote from Greenberg appeared in print but can be removed if it is really against the rules.

As for the style manual, I have seen th4 manual and read it. I have tried to understand what the problems are but I can't. Can you please be specific?

Actually, a quote from a notable expert is perfectly acceptable, far more so than what appears to be an evaluation (his innovative technique) but is not attributed to anyone. It doesn't really look like a purely objective fact, so that would definitely be improved by citing a source for it. Fan-1967 21:11, 24 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Also, more links to other articles in the text would be nice. Also, structuring the article, adding section headers, will help break up the "wall of text" you see on the page. Some "See also"s if appropriate, as well as adding some categories to the page. - grubber 21:55, 24 January 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I am a "notable expert". Otherwise I would not be writing the text in the first place.