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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Joseph Stannard/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 19:12, 14 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Mine. Gog the Mild (talk) 19:12, 14 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • "File:Joseph Stannard as a Youth by Robert Ladbrooke.jpg" needs a US PD tag. Green tickY
  • As does "File:Thorpe Water Frolic, Afternoon.jpg" Green tickY
  • Infobox image: start the title with an upper case P. Green tickY
  • Alt text for the gallery? Green tickY
  • "during most of his short life" Suggest deleting "short"; you give his age at death in the same sentence. Green tickY
  • I see three paragraphs with final sentences which are uncited.
  • I have standardised the hyphenation of ISBNs for you.
  • Fawcett: no ISSN? Green tickY
  • Hemingway (2017): chapter page range please. And you have linked the book to the chapter. Green tickY
  • Day (1969) - ISBN/OCLC? Green tickY

More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 18:20, 15 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Above comments addressed. Amitchell125 (talk) 21:25, 15 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Note that many of the following comments are written with a prospective FAC in mind and would not need to be settled for GAN to be resolved. (Although some would.)

  • 1st paragraph of "Background": Why are Crome and Stark named twice? I think that the paragraph could do with rejigging. Green tickY
  • "The Norwich School was a unique phenomenon in the history of 19th-century British art" is, IMO, too close to the source in phraseology. Could you paraphrase it further? Green tickY I've quoted Moore directly, as he puts it as I would it put. Amitchell125 (talk) 14:41, 16 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • "than any other similar city". Does "other" add anything? Green tickY
  • Optional: Giving the full name of the RA may help some readers. Green tickY
  • Should cite 14 be to page 15? If not, we are probably looking at different versions; what page is "its survival for thirty years" on in yours? Green tickY
  • "to become a skilled draughtsman, and become well placed" Would it be possible to avoid "become" twice in six words? Green tickY
  • "Friends and relatives rallied to support him to recuperate". That's not grammatical. Perhaps 'Friends and relatives rallied to support him to recuperation' or similar? Green tickY
  • "his career lasted no longer than fifteen years". "no longer than" → 'only'. Green tickY
  • "as early as 1811". "as early as" → 'in'. Green tickY
  • "A Scene in the Melodrama of the "Broken Sword". Should there be closing quote marks? Green tickY

More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 22:10, 15 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • "showing eight works at the British Institution each year from 1824 to 1828". You then list eight works. Did he show the same eight works each year. Green tickY
  • "(Breydon, looking towards Yarmouth; et al. Closing parenthesis. Green tickY
  • "From 1824 he taught his friend Edward Thomas Daniell how to etch.[47][48] and Daniell was taught when a student at Oxford University, working with Stannard during his holidays, and the relationship between pupil and teacher became more equal as Daniell's ability as an etcher developed." Probably too much happening in this sentence. Consider breaking and/or rephrasing. Green tickY
  • Link masterpiece. Green tickY
  • "an oil painting that shows a large civic regatta attended by almost 20,000 spectators". A natural reading of this would be that the painting shows 20,000 spectators. Could it be rephrased to clarify the point? Green tickY
  • "(108 × 172 cm)" Should that not be in inches with a convert template? Green tickY
  • "praised" seems over used. Perhaps some synonyms? Green tickY

More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 20:41, 16 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Thorpe Water Frolic, Afternoon": I am not sure that the final two sentences justify a paragraph of their own, and they seem chronologically juxtaposed. Green tickY
  • "In 1822 he exhibited The Ferry, from a celebrated picture of Berchem in the Musee des Tableaux, Amsterdam." What is meant by "from"? Green tickY Rogue sentence removed.
  • "This visit enabled him". I think readers need a reminder of what "this" refers to. Green tickY
  • We have "Norfolk Museums", "Norfolk Museums Collections" and "Norwich Castle Museum and Art Gallery". It may be worth briefly setting out the relationship between them. Green tickY - note added
  • "typically depicted within their working environment, reveal their personalities". 'revealing. Green tickY
  • "now lost" → 'it is now lost' or 'no copies are known to survvie'. Green tickY
  • "by the relatively short number of works produced". "short" → 'small'. Green tickY
  • "so explaining why he remained unnoticed". Delete "so". Green tickY

Some mostly way past GAN comments:

  • "Crome was at time Norwich's most important artist". It may just be me, but I don't like "important"> I am not even sure what it means in this context. Green tickY
  • Link apprenticed. Green tickY
  • Suggest "He was an excellent oarsman and a skilled ice-skater, and crowds would gather to watch him perform on the ice." → 'He was an excellent oarsman and a skilled ice-skater; crowds would gather to watch him perform on the ice.' Green tickY
  • " the church of St John Maddermarket". Upper case C. Green tickY
  • "alleviated temporarily by the patronage of the Norwich manufacturer and entrepreneur John Harvey, who commissioned Stannard to paint Thorpe Water Frolic, Afternoon. By 1824, with his debts cleared"; "The high production costs were in the end borne by Stannard and not Harvey, whose financial situation had deteriorated". There seems to be a contradiction here. Green tickY
  • "but a costumed gondolier in his boat is shown, suggestive of the regattas of Venice, adds a new dimension.". "adds" → either 'adding' or 'which adds'. Green tickY
  • Link commissions at first mention. Green tickY

Gog the Mild (talk) 10:57, 20 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Thanks for developing

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This biography has been greatly developed with good references. Its now a worthy entry for a gifted Norwich School Painter. Thanks Norwikian (talk) 13:56, 3 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]