Talk:Jon Corzine/GA1
John Corzine GA Review
[edit]I'll be doing the GA review for this article. Here are some suggestions for improvement:
- How do you feel about combining the first two sections (early life and education, marriage and divorce)? They are both relatively short and deal more with his personal life than his career.
- They seem a bit different to be in the same section, so I made them two separate subsections of a new personal life section.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:33, 27 August 2008 (UTC)
- "Corzine later admitted that he had also given $15,000 to Carla Katz's brother-in-law Rocco Riccio, a former state employee who had resigned, after being accused of examining income tax returns for political purposes. which bargains on behalf of many state employees." - I think part of that second sentence is missing.
- It got chopped up in this edit.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 06:45, 27 August 2008 (UTC)
- "Also in 2000, Corzine denied having paid off African-American ministers, when in fact the foundation controlled by him and his wife had paid one influential black church $25,000." - This seemed to come out of nowhere. Who accused him of that? Can some more background on this particular fact be included?
- Found ref.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTM) 07:17, 27 August 2008 (UTC)
- "Corzine's candidacy for Governor, like his prior run for the U.S. Senate, broke all prior spending records. The combined expenditures for Corzine's run for the Senate and Governorship exceeded $100 million." - these two sentences need to be cited.
- "Corzine won his campaign for the post of Governor of New Jersey with 54% of the vote. Republican nominee Doug Forrester, a businessman and a former Mayor of West Windsor Township, in Mercer County, won 43%. Corzine received 1,224,493 votes to Forrester's 985,235. A total of 80,277 votes, or 3%, were scattered among other candidates. Corzine won 13 of New Jersey's 21 counties: Atlantic, Bergen, Burlington, Camden, Cumberland, Essex, Gloucester, Hudson, Mercer, Middlesex, Passaic, Salem, and Union. Corzine won the three most populous counties (Bergen, Essex, and Middlesex), five of the top six, and seven of the top nine." - these stats need to be cited.
- Under "Campaign for governor", every paragraph begins with Corzine...mix it up.
The article will be on hold for a week for improvements. Nikki311 23:37, 26 August 2008 (UTC)
- Great work! :) Pass. Nikki311 15:54, 27 August 2008 (UTC)