Talk:Jolly Rancher Remix/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 17:34, 29 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 07:55, 29 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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Almost there with some copy changes. 7-day hold to Adog. Ping when done. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 08:21, 29 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Copy changes

Lead

The Sidewinder was the first roller coaster installed in the park in 14 years since the SooperDooperLooper in 1977, and the fourth roller coaster in operation to be built. Remove comma (User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences)

History

The attraction would be the largest thrill ride constructed at the park since the 1977 addition of steel roller coaster SooperDooperLooper, and the only Boomerang model in Pennsylvania. Remove comma
Jolly Rancher's candy Remove grocer's apostrophe

Ride experience

Passengers enter the train where the "virtual DJ" host of the roller coaster announces the ride's name Add comma after "train"
At the top of the lift hill, the train is released and speeds through the station where it enters a cobra roll. Add a comma after "through the station"

Characteristics

Jolly Rancher Remix is a Boomerang model manufactured by Vekoma International of the Netherlands, and designed by Peter Clerx. Remove unneeded comma (CinS)
The roller coaster originally cost $4.2 million to plan and construct, and opened in the Pioneer Frontier section of the park. Remove unneeded comma (CinS)
It was the fourth roller coaster to be added to the park in operation, and the first roller coaster to open since the SooperDooperLooper in 1977, 14 years earlier. Remove the first comma (CinS)
Jolly Rancher Remix is a steel shuttle roller coaster as the train returns from the direction it came. Maybe change "as" to ", in which"
Comma before "respectively"
The original trains of the roller coaster featured a red and yellow color scheme, with the newer train featuring a blue color scheme. For the 2011 season, the Sidewinder's trains were replaced with Vekoma's newer trains. The 2011 train set was later replaced in 2022 by newer rolling stock. Which "newer trains" are blue — the 2011 or 2022 set?

Reception

Stallsmith personally considered that the roller coaster delivered on Hersheypark's advertising promise of "non-stop excitement", and stating that there was no "wasted space" during the ride's entire experience. Remove the comma and change "stating" to "stated" OR simply remove the "and" before "stating"
Remove the comma before "and even more so"
Wells concluded that the Sidewinder was a "torture on a person's equilibrium", but "also addictive" requiring more than one ride to enjoy Move the comma to after "addictive", making an appositive

Sourcing and spot checks

Earwig turns up no issues.

13: Wendie Wells review from 1992. May 2 preview and review quotes check out. Y
18: Theme Park Insider article mentions randomized scent sets. Y
26: RCDB. Used for various details that seem to check out. Y
29: RCDB definition of a shuttle roller coaster.
30: 2008 Vekoma spec sheet, used for track length (where sources vary), shows 935 ft/285 m. Y

Images

One PD diagram and three CC images. All have alt text. No issues.

@Sammi Brie: Thank you for another review! I have changed all that is cited, plus clarified the 2022 train set as the blue color scheme. I will look out for those pesky commas when I expand articles in the future! :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 14:31, 29 January 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.