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Talk:John Kenneth Hilliard/GA1

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GA Review

[edit]

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Well-written
  • In the info box, de-bold J.K. Hilliard and Associates.  Done Binksternet (talk) 02:21, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Lead section
  • Education section - Did Hilliard earn his Masters degree? Specify.  Done Binksternet (talk) 02:21, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Movie sound section - United Artists subsection
    • Italicize The Jazz Singer in the lead sentence. Add (UA) after United Artists in the second sentence. For the third sentence, change "...for Coquette, UA's first talkie." to "...for Coquette, United Artists' first talking motion picture." In the fourth sentence, put a comma (,) after equipment.  Done I chose to continue the abbreviation UA after introducing it. Binksternet (talk) 02:21, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Movie sound section - MGM subsection
    • In the third sentence, change "...Manufacturing Company; in this way, Hilliard..." to "...Manufacturing Company. This is how Hilliard...". For the fourth sentence, change "In 1935, Hilliard..." to "The following year, Hilliard...".  Done Reworded to fix issue. Binksternet (talk) 02:21, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Movie sound section - Shearer Horn System section
    • No issue.
  • Movie sound section - World War II intervenes subsection
    • In the lead sentence, change "...for Massachusetts Institute of Technology to work..." to "...for the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) to work...". In the second sentence, list when Altec and Lansing merged?  Done Binksternet (talk) 02:21, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Movie sound section - Voice of the Theatre subsection
    • Dewiki Lansing in the second sentence and remove "most famous" to WP:PEACOCK. For the second sentence, change "film house" to "movie theater". In the last sentence, when did VOTT production cease in the 1990s? Specify.  Done The source I have says only 1990s, no more specific than that. Binksternet (talk) 02:21, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Altec section
    • In the second sentence of the opening paragraph, add comma (,) after designs. For the last sentence of the same paragraph, change "...was President of Altec Lansing at the time." to "...was then-President of Altec Lansing.".  Done Binksternet (talk) 02:21, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • For the lead sentence of the second paragraph, change "...sound recordists (and a precursor of the Audio Engineering Society.)" to "...sound recordists and a precursor to the Audio Engineering Society." In the final paragraph, mention that the Institute of Radio Engineers (IRE) merged with the American Institute of Electrical Engineers (AIEE) in 1963 to form the Institute of Electrical and Electronic Engineers (IEEE).  Done Binksternet (talk) 02:21, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Noise studies section
  • Move See Also section before the References section.  Done Deleted See also section as redundant. Binksternet (talk) 02:21, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • More categories are needed such as University of Minnesota alumni and People from Los Angeles, California. Make certain that they are in alphabetical order.  Done Binksternet (talk) 02:21, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Factually accurate and reliable.
Broad in coverage.
  • Good coverage. No issues.
Neutral.
  • No issues.
Stable.
  • Last hold was 12 April 2010. Only four edits done since 17 December 2009.
Images.
  • Only one image and it is valid.
Overall.
  • Hold - good article. A little tweaking and it will be a GA.

Reviewer: Chris (talk) 14:05, 13 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, I have blasted through the article making the changes you indicate and some more changes besides. I moved Hilliard's marriage down to a Personal life section, which includes his death. I deleted See also because its links were already present. I moved some External links up into the article as refs. I added some published works and refs. I did a little bit of format tweaking here and there. I think we are ready! Binksternet (talk) 02:21, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
Good editing. It passed for GA. Chris (talk) 13:37, 15 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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