Talk:John Galsworthy/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Tim riley (talk · contribs) 09:54, 22 April 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: 750h+ (talk · contribs) 09:41, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

@Tim riley: i'll be taking this one. 750h+ 09:41, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

prose

lede

• "Born to a prosperous upper-middle-class family, Galsworthy was destined for a career as a lawyer, but found it uncongenial and turned instead to writing." comma unneeded in british english
  • See p. 249 of the current edition of Modern English Usage: I agree that "that stops should not be used unless they are needed" but can be used to help the reader's eye along the desired path. Tim riley talk 11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

life and career

• "His biographer David Holloway comments that in describing a character in a 1930 short story, Galsworthy was in fact describing his schoolboy self" remove "in fact".
  • I think the phrase adds a helpful emphasis. Tim riley talk 11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
• "legal education by studying aspects of maritime law at close quarters with a view to specialising in it once back at home." ==> "legal education by studying aspects of maritime law at close quarters to specialise in it once back at home."
  • Not sure that's an improvement. Tim riley talk 11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
• "Until the death of John Galsworthy senior in 1904, Ada and Galsworthy kept their relationship secret, because a scandal would have distressed the old man greatly." remove the comma.
  • As above. I concur with Sir Bruce Fraser's advice in the second edition of Plain Words, here. Tim riley talk 11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
• "Galsworthy published his first work of fiction in 1897, when he was aged 30." remove the comma
  • As above. Tim riley talk 11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
• "The marriage, which was childless, lasted until his death." ==> "The childless marriage lasted until his death."
  • But the unchildless one didn't? Better as it is. Tim riley talk 11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
• "In 1912 and 1913 he carried on an effective campaign in the cause of humane slaughtering of animals killed for food." ==> "In 1912 and 1913 he carried on an effective campaign for the cause of the humane slaughtering of animals killed for food."
  • Unexpected suggestion of pronoun. Not an improvement in my view, but I don't mind changing it. Tim riley talk 11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
    • Now I look again, perhaps it could usefully be pruned to "In 1912 and 1913 he carried on an effective campaign for the humane slaughtering ...". What think you?
• "It was well and widely reviewed, although it did only modestly at the box-office." should there be a hyphen between "box" and "office"?
  • Depends which dictionary you consult. My two default dictionaries are the OED and Chambers: one hyphenates the word and the other doesn't. Tim riley talk 11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
• "...which he declined, on the grounds that "no artist of Letters ought..." ==> ""which he declined, because "no artist of Letters ought..."
  • I think the existing wording makes it clearer that this was Galsworthy's view rather than an objective fact, as the proposed rewording suggests. Tim riley talk 11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
• "In accordance with his will, his ashes were scattered from an aeroplane over the South Downs." ==> "Per/Under his will, his ashes were scattered from an aeroplane over the South Downs."
  • Certainly not "per": I agree with old dictum "Prefer good English to bad Latin". "Under" looks a bit odd to me. Tim riley talk 11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

works

• "hypocrisy, selfishness and exploitation of the poor and of women of all classes"
  • Doesn't make sense as "women all classes" Tim riley talk 11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

  Wait I strikethroughed the wrong "of", I meant to strikethrough the other "of". 750h+ 12:19, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

• "Not all Galsworthy's plays are of this kind." ==> "Not all of Galsworthy's plays are of this kind."
  • Why the otiose extra word? See the current Fowler, p. 36. Tim riley talk 11:56, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

image review

• Images are fine and are appropriately licensed. some have WP:ALT text. If you could ensure that all of the images have alt text that'd be great. 750h+ 10:07, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
  • Absolutely! I've added alt text to the two images where it was missing. Tim riley talk 12:00, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

source review

i'll be spot checking this version if that's all right.

• 2 OK
• Holloway source of 7 OK
• 8 OK
• 9 OK
• 12 OK
• 16 OK
• 25 OK
• 38 OK. I've verified that via Newspapers.com.
• 41 OK
• 63 OK
• 68 OK
• 69 OK
• 98 OK
• 105 OK

Ok i'm happy with the sourcing :). 750h+ 10:27, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

verdict

• Okay so a lot of these suggestions were just my stupidity. unless you have any other comments Tim riley, i'd be happy to pass this article for GA. 750h+ 12:24, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
  • Nothing whatever to do with stupidity! We'd just write the same text rather differently, that's all. Glad of your thoughts on my suggestion for a small nip and tuck of one bit, though. And I concur with your amended suggestion for the stricken "of". Tim riley talk 12:36, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

    Thanks for the response, Tim :). Passing. 750h+ 12:37, 12 May 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.