Talk:Jennifer Lopez: Feelin' So Good/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Petergriffin9901 (talk · contribs) 08:51, 15 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

but also her mother -> their

Done Statυs (talk) 01:16, 20 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Who is Medina? I know, but does a reader?

Done Whoops, forgot to put his full name there. Statυs (talk) 01:16, 20 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

the music world -> think scene is better

Done Statυs (talk) 01:16, 20 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

a biopic of the late American singer-songwriter Selena -> of the same name is probably more appropriate

Done Statυs (talk) 01:16, 20 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Any source that she was a songwriter? I checked some of her albums and she doesn't have any songwriting credits

Done Was just going off from what her main article says, changing to recording artist. Statυs (talk) 01:16, 20 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The role inspired her to launch a music career, which critics cited as being risky, noting that if she was unsuccessful in doing so, it would be an embarrassment and it could even damage her career. -> a little run-on. Try shortening or re-phrasing. Also, in all seriousness, did she even have a career before the movie? So I mean pursuing a career in music was risky on ruining her career of one movie?

Done I've re-worded it slightly. Let me know how it looks now. Well, she had a few films before that Money Train, Jack and Blood and Wine. I also what they meant was that launching a music career so early in just getting her big break in acting was risky. Statυs (talk) 01:25, 20 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Lopez was aware of the fact that she received her recording contract on the premise of having an already established name in the entertainment industry, -> can do much better

Done Re-worded Statυs (talk) 01:25, 20 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The surprising success of her debut single "If You Had My Love" and On the 6 -> The success of [ ] came as a surprise to [ ]

Done Statυs (talk) 01:25, 20 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The surprising success of her debut single "If You Had My Love" and On the 6 made the "popular actor even more popular", with both the music industry and the public becoming intrigued by "this woman who seemed to have so many different talents".[2] -> Very run-on, confusing, border-line NPOV etc.

Care you explain this a bit more? Statυs (talk) 01:32, 20 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Can you explain to me exactly what the purpose of the lead's second paragraph is?

Basically, the lead summarizes the article, right? The background information for this article sets up the rest of the article. The video release talks of her whole transition from being an actress to a singer. Statυs (talk) 01:32, 20 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

- Try to get someone to copy-edit this article for you. Speaking from experience, when you delve too much in the topic of one artist, you really don't realize pretty obvious mistakes. I've watch-listed this page. Good luck!--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:10, 20 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Continuing (Sorry for the delay :)) "I just want to comment; some of what I post may be opinionated. Don't get upset, if you disagree just tell me :)"

With a runtime -> running time
critics deemed this as a risk -> critics deemed it risky
and it could damage her career -> I don't think we need it
Maybe give us the year for On the 6 in parenthesis
was to prove that she had musical talent -> was to prove she had musical talent
It was additionally praised for showing Lopez's -> Since we just used Lopez in the last sentence, maybe switch this for the singer of her
You did a great job cleaning up the lead. Much better this time!

Background

to put on performances at home -> stage
I find that you repeat Lopez often
when she decided to pursue an acting career -> a career in acting
Lopez received her big break came in 1996 -> fix
Again we have Selena as a singer-songwriter :P
In the film, Selena's real voice is used for the musical sequences in Selena, -> In the film, Selena's real voice was used for the musical sequences,
When asked by an interview -> in
After filming Selena, Lopez -> Selena
studio album On the 6. During production of the On the 6 -> studio album On the 6. During production of the album

Synopsis

her hectic schedule in the beginning of 1999 -> at
concept behind the music video of "If You Had My Love". -> for
Marc Anthony over-link
appropriately entitled -> titled
the moment when she found out that "If You Had My Love" went number one in the United States -> I don't think when is needed here
She then went on to discuss -> Rmv then
is an interview with Lopez's mother discussing what was like to see Lopez on television for the first time. -> is an interview with Lopez's mother, discussing what was like to see Lopez on television for the first time.
Lopez, Lopez, discussing, discusses
Lopez then discusses her surprise to the amount of fans -> There is something awkward about "discusses her surprise"
"Baila" is shown, for the very first time. -> Can't we just say debuted?

Release

I know it's tough, but try and substitute "release" with other words.
golden hue image also taken during the photoshoot of On the 6. -> taken during the same photoshoot
Beierle compared Jennifer Lopez: Feelin' So Good to the video releases of Mariah Carey. -> I wonder why. Because that asshole Mottola tried to make her a carbon copy :P
the video albums contains -> album
followed by her VH1 Fashion Awards performance of the Darkchild remix of "If You Had My Love". -> of the same song

Sources

Why is Allmusic linked in ref 5 and not in #1?
Ref 2 seems to be incomplete
What makes #4 reliable?
Why is Nielsen linked in 14 and not in 11 or 13? (or shall I say 11)
Why isn't #19 Amazon not linked and the others are?
Why isn't BBC News linked?

- Overall very much improved Status. Really well done :) Get to it so we can promote it :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:36, 10 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I think everything has been fixed, except a few things, which I will point out here. Let me know if I miss anything else. As for the "release" title, I have no idea what to use man! Help me out! What's incomplete about ref 2? As for ref 4, it's also used in a reference for a published biography about her, so I would say it is quite reliable. The website has also been discussed by the media. Thank you for your great review of the article! Statυs (talk) 02:22, 10 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

- Don't worry about it. You could try "distributed". It depends on how it sounds to you. I just fixed a typo, I think we are all good here! Thanks very much, it was a pleasure :) Great work!--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 02:30, 10 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]