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Reviewer: Miyagawa (talk · contribs) 17:34, 26 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]


Ok, let's get the ball rolling on the review. To be fair, when I read Vision of the Future I disliked the holonovel so much that I skipped the relevant paragraphs! I always just figured that they chose it based on the set being available due to being created for something else. I knew that it was unlikely to have been planned enough to film all the segments at the same time and then cut it across other episodes.

  • Done. Thank you for the suggestion, as I was struggling with what to put in the lead.
  • Appearances: I'd change the piping for the first season link in "first season episodes" to remove "episodes" and just have "first season" linked - this will break up the linkage in that line between the season link and the subsequent episode titles themselves.
  • Done.
  • "ancient England' (the show's term to indicate Victorian era Britain") - should that quotation mark come after the closing bracket?
  • Done. Thank you for this catch.
  • Concept and development: Specify "live-action" with regards to the series debut for the holodeck. The precusor to the holodeck appeared in an episode of The Animated Series "The Practical Joker"
  • Done. Thank you for the correction!
  • "$100,00 per day" - missing a zero from the end
  • Done. That was a silly mistake.
  • Direction and filming: Typo on "epidoe"
  • Done. And another one here too.
  • Themes: Not sure what you mean by "wrote that Janeway Lambda one contrasted Janeway Lambda one with those used by the male crew members."
  • Clarified "those" as "holonovels".
  • References: "Star Trek, where No One Has Gone Before" - you've dropped the capital on "where"
  • I made a lot of silly mistakes. Done, and I apologize for that.
  • Did a quick search and found this [1]. There's no point trying to go through archive.org versions of the ST website for information on this, as since it's early Voyager it'll be back in the old Star Trek Continuum days when there simply wasn't any archived production material on archive.org.
  • Done. That source was very helpful, so thank you!
  • The only potential book source I can think of which you haven't already used here is the new-ish Star Trek: Costumes. No need to rush out and buy it, because I don't think the design of the outfits is all together critical to the article. I'm sure I'll end up with a copy eventually once the price drops some more and then if anything turns up in it, I'll add it myself.
  • Thank you for the suggestions, sounds good to me!
  • @Miyagawa: Thank you for the review. I worked very hard on this article and I am very proud, but I was still really nervous about it. While I am not a fan of the holonovel story on the show, I was interested in learning more about its background and reception for some reason lol. It would be really awesome to get this all the way to FA (it still needs a lot of work for that, but it would still be pretty neat). Please let me know if there is anything else I can address or improve about the article. Thank you again! Aoba47 (talk) 03:29, 27 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]