Talk:Jahaad Proctor

Jahaad Proctor has been listed as one of the Sports and recreation good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Review: October 2, 2020. (Reviewed version).

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Jahaad Proctor/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 17:23, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Taking this review for the GAN October 2020 Backlog Drive. MWright96 (talk) 17:23, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Early life and high school career

"but he could shoot and score." - how come?
- Natural ability? Effort in practice? What do you want me to say? ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  - Whichever is more accurate MWright96 (talk) 06:01, 2 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    - I don't know what to do here. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 15:17, 2 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
      - I think effort in practice will suffice. MWright96 (talk) 15:35, 2 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
        The ref states, "But he could score, a trait his father traces back to abundant hours hanging around those high school practices." I added a bit about his practice. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 18:10, 2 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Proctor stood 5'10." - the convert template is needed for use on the text in bold
- Done ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"and grew to 6'3." - same issue as above
- Done. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"He became the first player in school history to earn three All-State selections, and the third to earn first team honors," - repetition of the word "earn"
- Changed to "receive". ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"He committed to" - He committed to playing college basketball for
- OK. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:10, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

College career

"He averaged 5.1 points, 2.0 rebounds and 1.1 assists per game as a freshman at Iona." - word-to-word copy of the SB Nation source verifying this text. Please reword accordingly
- Changed to "As a freshman, he averaged 5.1 points, 2.0 rebounds and 1.1 assists per game." ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

* "helping Iona win the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference tournament and reach the NCAA Tournament." - repetition of the word "tournament"

- I don't see the problem, they are two different tournaments. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"and reach the NCAA Tournament." - and qualify for the
- Done. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"On December 18, 2018," - The ESPN source states the game took place on December 17, 2018
- Good catch. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"because he discovered a rehab technique." - rehabilition
- Done. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"and other athletes his field of study." - in his
- OK. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"Proctor helped to fill the void of departing" - more formal; replace the
- Reworded. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"The season was cancelled prior to the Big Ten Tournament," - mention the season was cancelled due to the COVID-19 pandemic as stated in The Patriot-News
- Done, good to be specific. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:33, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Personal life

"His father is a math teacher at William Penn Senior High School in York, Pennsylvania and baggage handler for Delta Air Lines at Harrisburg International Airport." - and a baggage handler
- Done. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:40, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

References

Reference 5's publication date is December 2, 2015 not December 1, 2015
- No it's not, see [1]. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:40, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  - Struck. Mixed-up the dates MWright96 (talk) 06:01, 2 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

* Reference 7's publication date is January 7, 2018 not January 6, 2018

- No, see [2]
  - Struck. Dates were mixed up MWright96 (talk) 06:01, 2 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
The title of Reference 14 should not be all in capital letters per MOS:ALLCAPS
- Changed to lowercase. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:40, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Reference 16 is missing the author
- Added the author. ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:40, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Am placing the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 18:25, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I have replied to all your concerns. Some I don't know what to do with, while others - the references - appear to be incorrect. Not sure where you got the publication date, maybe another printing of the AP stories? ~EDDY ^{(talk/contribs)}~ 20:40, 1 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
- @Editorofthewiki: Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 19:04, 2 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]