Talk:Jacqui McQueen/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:24, 9 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 04:24, 9 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the issues I found:

"marrying illegal immigrant Aleksander Malota to pay of debts," pay off debts Done
"her wayward relationship with Tony Hutchinson, which became popular with viewers" and her wayward Done
"weather Gilly is guilty or innocent is to be decided by viewers" whether Done
Sentences starting with "in (year)", with a month if applicable, should have commas after year Done
"The relationship proved popular with viewers,[3] during an interview" period/semicolon instead of comma Done
"Danny takes a shine to Jacqui and they share a couple of dates, during an interview" same as above, because they are two complete thoughts Done
"Although she knows the risks of crossing Danny, she tries to fix the poker game, of this Cooper" semicolon for second one, as above Done
"It was later revealed that the deatils" details Done
The storyline section feels too long, and I request that it be trimmed. What should be I'll leave up to you, since you would know which pieces are more important than others. Done
The sentencing at the start of the reception section feels overly repetitive. Not sure how to mix it up, but any way that could be found would be beneficial. Done
"Virgin Media criticised the character's dress sense stating " add by or put a comma after sense Done

I'll put the article on hold, and once the issues are fixed I'll read through the storyline section for any errors. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 05:34, 11 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Comment - Only just noticed this, I'll get to it.RAIN*the*ONE ^BAM 14:50, 14 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, looks good; will read through storyline section tonight and note final comments here. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 16:24, 14 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah I tried to cut it down as much as, she's always had big stories.RAIN*the*ONE ^BAM 04:14, 15 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the remaining issues:

"Jacqui meets divorcee Tony, they sleep together." then they Done
"Becca is killed by another prisoner, Jacqui is devastated." and Jacqui is Done
"Jacqui discovers she is pregnant, Tony initially doesn't" semicolon rather than comma Done
"Jacqui's plans to adopt because of her criminal record." Jacqui plans to Done
"Jacqui forces Tony to make a choice between Harry, or her." no comma needed Done
"Jacqui and Tony separate, she realises she needs to forgive Myra." and she realises Done
"her lies and stealing fro the school canteen." from the Done
"Jacqui and Rhys unknowingly meet on a internet dating website, fall for each other." and fall for Done

Once those issues are fixed i'll pass the article.

I've done them. :)RAIN*the*ONE ^BAM 14:31, 16 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Article looks good now, so it can finally be passed as a GA. Wizardman _{Operation Big Bear} 16:05, 16 March 2011 (UTC)[reply]

'Lost her identity' - unsourced comment

The comment, supposedly from Claire Cooper, that Jacqui 'lost her identity' during Lucy Allan's tenure is unsourced - unless a source can be added it should be removed, as we have no way of knowing if Cooper actually said it. Smurfmeister (talk) 01:51, 20 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]