Talk:It's Not Living (If It's Not with You)/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 12:13, 17 March 2021 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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I will start reviewing this today, but it is somewhat large and my third review of the day so may not be done til tomorrow.
- @Kyle Peake: No rush buddy, don't worry! You work too hard, lol. Giacobbe talk 12:53, 17 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe: Does get a bit tiring reviewing so many articles, but we're in the middle of the GAN backlog drive after all! --K. Peake 18:26, 17 March 2021 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]Pipe synth-rock to Electronic rock in the infobox"handled the song's production." → "handled the production."Mention the instruments Bain plays in the body since everything in the lead needs to be written outPipe heroin addiction to Opioid use disorder"struggle with the drug." → "struggle with heroin."Remove the word musically, as that is language for the body not the lead, plus maybe start the para by writing the song description before adding a comma and writing ""It's Not Living (If It's Not with You)" is evocative of..."? I think this would flow better to avoid starting all three paras with the song title.Pipe synth-rock to Electronic rockCut down how much is listed of what the production comprises of to avoid a supermarket list"while exploring topics such as" → "while exploring the topics of" because no more topics are sourced in the body so this is misleading"received positive reviews" → "received generally positive reviews""It later appeared on several critics year-end lists." → "The song later appeared on several critics year-end lists for 2018.""The song peaked at" → "It peaked at""It was later certified" → "The song was later certified"
"A tribute to the Talking Heads'" → "A tribute to Talking Heads'"
Background and release
[edit]Pipe heroin addiction to Opioid use disorder on the quotebox- First para looks good!
"to write about heroin" → "to write about heroin addiction" with the pipe per the source context"Healy was reluctant to" → "Healy was humourously reluctant to" per the sourceRemove wikilink on heroin addictionMention that the 18 October 2018 release was as a single"on Annie Mac's" → "on Annie Mac's self-titled" with the pipe
Music and lyrics
[edit]Identify the choir by name on the audio sample text""It's Not Living (If It's Not with You)" is a" → "Musically, "It's Not Living (If It's Not with You)" is a"[16][17][15] should be put in numerical orderYou should swap [18] and [19] to be in the proper order for the genres listingWikilink electric guitar and is the plural correct usage, as you have listed that in the lead?Remove chirping because that part refers to the synths and only sparkling should be kept to avoid confusion mid-sentence- Should the chorus voices be mentioned or are you sure they are not the gospel choir just mentioned in the review?
- Which part are you referring to? [22] mentions "There’s a chorus behind him, lifting his voice up", not sure if this is what you're referring to. Giacobbe talk 21:32, 17 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe: Yes I am; are you sure the voices part does not actually refer to the choir? --K. Peake 08:28, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Kyle Peake: Are you suggesting I remove this part to avoid repetition? I've removed it, but let me know if you meant something else! Giacobbe talk 12:19, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- You should try to mention Amber Bain's instruments in the sentence before the one introducing since it is advisable to avoid repetition, but rather than introducing her there, mention the forename in the current sentence and keep the introduction and backing vocals – I think this is the best case scenario, ask me if confused
- @Kyle Peake: I am a little confused about this, I think I understand what you mean, just confused about the formatting. Giacobbe talk 21:32, 17 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe: In the sentence where the instruments are mentioned that Amber Bain plays, mention her full name there. However, keep the full sentence as it is regarding background vocals but change to her surname there since the introduction should be in that sentence to not disrupt the flow of the one where the instruments are listed. --K. Peake 08:28, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Kyle Peake: I've reworded it, let me know what you think. Giacobbe talk 12:19, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe: You are fine with using her name in the current format, but the introduction should be in the background vocals sentence instead. --K. Peake 12:32, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
""It's Not Living (If It's Not with You)" discusses" → "Lyrically, "It's Not Living (If It's Not with You)" discusses""using a man named Danny–a physically" → "using Danny–a physically" because you did the character introductory part previouslyPipe chorus to Refrain"the seam", and compared" → "the seam" and compared"Wikilink love song"deemed it "an" → "deemed the song "an"
Reception=
[edit]Remove or replace the img, as that comparison is not made by any critics in this section"received positive reviews" → "was met with generally positive reviews""saying it sounds" → "saying the song sounds""the best track on the album," → "the best track on A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships,""which serve as" → "the former of which serve as""noted that it helps" → "noted that the song helps""praised it for" → "praised the song for""was not fresh or" → "is not fresh or"[37][38] should be swapped to order them correctly with the chart positions"in the United Kingdom by" → "in the UK by"
Accolades
[edit]"one of the best of" → "one of the best songs of""writer SowingSeason declared it" → "writer SowingSeason declared the track""NME declared it" → "NME declared the track""also deemed it" → "also deemed "It's Not Living (If It's Not with You)"""with TC saying it" → "with TC saying the track"
Music video
[edit]Background and release
[edit]"A music video," → "An accompanying music video,""several different realities." → "numerous different realities.""While a lunch break," → "While on a lunch break,""despite the not having" → "despite them not having"
Synopsis
[edit]- Img looks good!
It is not sourced that Hann wakes him upWikilink David Byrne"the band plays either" → "the band either plays""video wearing a rabbit" → "video, wearing a rabbit"The part about sinking into the floor is not sourced
Reception
[edit]Remove pipe on Billboard"called it a" → "called the video a""were nearly identical" → "are nearly identical"
Credits and personnel
[edit]- Good
Charts
[edit]Weekly charts
[edit]- Good
Year-end charts
[edit]Pipe AFP to Associação Fonográfica Portuguesa
Certifications
[edit]- Good
References
[edit]- Copyvio score looks decent at 38.3%
- Nice job with the archiving here!
BBC → BBC America on ref 24
External links
[edit]- Good
Final comments and verdict
[edit]
On hold until all of the issues are fixed but like you did at some points above, don't feel afraid to tell me if you are confused! --K. Peake 08:28, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Kyle Peake: Think I've addressed everything, let me know if I've missed anything! :) Giacobbe talk 13:21, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- @(CA)Giacobbe: ✓ Pass now, I do not see any further issues and great job! --K. Peake 13:43, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Kyle Peake: Thank you for another great review! Your hard work is very much appreciated! Giacobbe talk 14:12, 18 March 2021 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.