Talk:If You See Her, Say Hello/GA1
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 10:21, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
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Soon --K. Peake 10:21, 1 July 2021 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]- Shouldn't the release date of the song as a B-side be listed in the infobox since the single template is used?
- I've changed the type to "song" as nearly all sources discuss it as an album track rather than as a single. Hopefully that works. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:13, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- Pipe Minneapolis, Minnesota to Minneapolis, plus either separate the city from the studio using brackets or commas
- Folk rock genre is not sourced
- Removed. If a genre is needed, I'll look for a suitable source, but I suspect there may be different descriptions in different sources. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:13, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- WP:OVERLINK of Bob Dylan under songwriter(s)
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk)
- Introduce who Bob Dylan is in the opening sentence
- Added "American singer-songwriter" BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 10:38, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
- "released in 1975 on his 15th studio album," → "from his 15th studio album," also, add the release year in brackets
- The single B-side release should be mentioned after the later recording info instead
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 10:38, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
- "It is one of five songs on" → "The song is one of five on" but the number of songs initially recorded is not directly sourced as five (half the songs on the album are mentioned as being re-recorded but nowhere does it say all were originally done in September)
- "five of ten" is now mentioned in the body. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:50, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- Remove "in December that year" from this sentence because the following one gives the date, though the city can be kept
- "produced by Dylan's" → "was produced by Dylan's"
- "became the album track" → "The recording later became the album track" as a new sentence, plus pipe single to Single (music) and add a comma after it before writing "released in February 1975."
- Add a sentence about the song's lyrical content at the end of the first para
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:50, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- Pipe CD to Compact disc, plus the single-CD and 2-LP info should be written out in the body with the source since everything in the lead needs to be sourced there
- "of that album." → "of the compilation."
- The remix release on the deluxe edition should be written out in the body too, moving the source solely there
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:50, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- "with some reviewers naming the track a highlight of Blood on the Tracks, and the song being" → "being named by some as an album highlight, and it has been"
- Mention the Civic Centre live performance in a sentence after the above, as this is fully notable for the lead and follow it with a sentence about the Italian cover version since that is the most noteworthy one
Composition and recording
[edit]- Retitle to Recording and composition
- "on September 16, 1974 during" → "on September 16, 1974, during"
- "followed by a third on September 19 where" → "These were followed by a third on September 19, where" as a new sentence, plus it needs to be mentioned somewhere in the opening info that five songs were recorded initially that month
Partly done. "it needs to be mentioned somewhere in the opening info that five songs were recorded initially that month" pending. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:22, 3 July 2021 (UTC)Done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:22, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- Merge the first and second paras
- "from his brother" → "made by his brother"
- "on December 30 at" → "on December 30, 1974, at"
- Pipe overdubbed to Overdubbing
- Remove pipe on producer
- "for the Minneapolis "Blood on the Tracks" recordings," → "for the Minneapolis recordings," because it is already known that the recording there was for the album
- "This session featured a" → "The session featured a"
- Pipe keyboards to Keyboard instrument
- Wikilink harmonica
- "at Zimmerman's invitation," → "after Zimmerman's contact," per the source
- "on December 27." → "on December 27, 1974."
- Can't you add a genre for the song somewhere with a source?
- Pending. See comment under infobox. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:22, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- Progress report: no genre description found in books so far. Several reviews mention "ballad"/"love ballad". Cott (1984) says "the other songs [apart from Idiot Wind] on 'Blood on the Tracks', each of which has its own style". Thomas (2017) has "Lyric song-poem". BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:21, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- Is the album's Billboard 200 position really notable for this article?
- I think so, as it indicates the reach, but happy to remove this if you advise so. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:21, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- Do you not have a source giving the single's exact release date?
- No, sadly. Not found in any of the sources I've consulted, including Bjorner's site, Michael Krogsgaard's Positively Bob Dylan: A Thirty Year Discography, Concert, and Recording Session Guide, 1960–1991, or Clinton Heylin's Bob Dylan : a life in stolen moments : day by day, 1941-1995, all of which just have "February." The earliest newspaper mentions I could find of the single are from mid-March 1975, talking about it as a new release - I didn't even find any adverts from before that. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:21, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- "on the Hot 100 chart." → "on the US Billboard Hot 100." with the pipe
- "from September 16 was" → "from September 16, 1974 was"
- "the Blood on the Tracks test pressing." → "the Blood on the Tracks test pressing." plus do you know the release year of this?
- Added (with month). BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:21, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- "on The Bootleg Series Vol. 14: More Blood, More Tracks (Deluxe edition) (2018)." → "on the deluxe edition of The Bootleg Series Vol. 14: More Blood, More Tracks (2018)."
Interpretation and critical reception
[edit]- "thought that the album Blood on the Tracks was" → "thought Blood on the Tracks was"
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 10:56, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
- "in a 1985 interview that" → "in a 1985 interview:" plus are you sure the quote doesn't end on a full sentence, meaning the full-stop would be inside quote marks?
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 10:56, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
- "Dylan claimed that" → "Dylan says that"
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 10:56, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
- "love story," and that it is" → "love story", commenting that it is" per MOS:QUOTE
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 10:56, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
- Add release year of "Girl from the North Country" in brackets
- "of the album's release," → "of the album's release by multiple writers,"
- [22] should be solely at the end of the sentence because it is used for both info before and after the comma
- Maybe mention that it was noted by Lyn Van Matre of the Chicago Tribune?
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 11:10, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
- Add commas around "in The Guardian"
- Note Timothy Hampton as being from Critical Inquiry, also should the full-stop be inside quote marks or not per my earlier comment?
- Added journal, moved full-stop (per source). BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 14:03, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- Mention what publications John Edmiston and Mike Kalina were writing for
- "covered the same topic" → "covers the same topic"
- Add release year of "I Threw It All Away" in brackets
- "were the weakest two tracks on the on album because they were" → "are the weakest two tracks on the album due to being"
- Remove the excess semi-colon directly after [29]
- "and that it was" → "and that the song was"
- "Jon Landau in Rolling Stone criticised" → "Jon Landau of Rolling Stone criticized"
- "were "the two" → "are "the two"
- "that he loved,[35] A" → "that he loved;[35] a"
- Introduce Andrew Ford as being from The Sydney Morning Herald, plus merge this para with the above one
- "Dylan's delivery was" → "and Dylan's delivery was"
- Why is the couplet referred to as a line? If this is what the source itself says, then change to lyrics for acceptable rephrasing.
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 11:10, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
- "from the September recording sessions were in circulated" → "from the September 1974 sessions were circulated"
- Wikilink The Bootleg Series per MOS:LINK2SECT
- "including of" → "including the ones of"
- "bitterness" and bemoans the failure of commentators to consider the original version" → "bitterness", and bemoaned the failure of commentators to consider the original"
- "placed it 63rd in" → "placed the track 63rd in"
Live performances
[edit]- Add a comma after dates where "at" follows them
- "was acoustic, and" → "was acoustic and" with the pipe
- "his soul,"[3] and Trager has said show" → "his soul".[3] Similarly, Trager has said the performance shows"
- "and that Dylan's delivery" → "and observing how Dylan's delivery"
- "blooming bitterness" which featured" → "blooming bitterness", which featured"
- Are you sure the last line quoted from the lyrics doesn't end with a full-stop in the source's quote marks? If so, alter here appropriately.
- Seems like it should, but the source has 'If she's passing back this way/ That would be too quick' he howls. 'Don't mention her name to me/ Cos that's a name that makes me sick'. I've capitalised "That" in the article to match the source. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:38, 4 July 2021 (UTC)
References in popular culture
[edit]- Retitle to In popular culture
- ""classic heartbreak album"." → ""real heartbreak album"." per the source
- Pipe Xfm to Radio X (United Kingdom)
- Remove wikilink on Blood on the Tracks
- "his favorite album." → "his favorite album of all time." per the source
Official album releases
[edit]- The ref col should be unsortable
- Sound 80 should only be wikilinked on its first row
- Billy Peterson should only be wikilinked in his first row
- Drums should only be piped in their first row
- A&R Studios should only be targeted on its first row
Cover versions
[edit]- "There is an Italian version by singer Francesco De Gregori, called "Non Dirle Che Non È Così" from" → "An Italian version of the song was recorded by singer-songwriter Francesco De Gregori, titled "Non Dirle Che Non È Così", for"
- The soundtrack release is unsourced, plus shouldn't you add the album's release year in brackets?
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 12:36, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- "on his album Live at Sin-é." → "on his EP Live at Sin-é (1993)."
- Remove usage of the before Brazilian singer introduction
- Only the title is sourced as being changed so remove the lyrics part
- Removed. Many sources, none looked reliable. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 12:36, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
Notes
[edit]- Why does b not only have a full stop when none of the other notes do but also place it inside a song title?
- Fixed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:27, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
References
[edit]- Copyvio score looks decent at 37.5%
- Refs 1 and 2 are duplicates, plus The Official Bob Dylan Site should not be in title
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:33, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- Pipe Uncut to Uncut (magazine) on ref 4
- Refs 5 and 17 are duplicates, plus wikilink The Guardian on the first
- Amended. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:33, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- Wikilink BBC on ref 6
- Fix MOS:QWQ issues with ref 8
- Pipe Penguin to Penguin Books on ref 11
- Remove the publisher from refs 12, 43, 44, 53 and 54
- Pipe Billboard to Billboard (magazine) on ref 13
- Should McFarland be piped to McFarland & Company on ref 15 or is that a different publisher?
- Piped. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:50, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- Last name should be followed by first on ref 18 for consistency, plus pipe OUP Oxford to Oxford University Press
- Same comment as above regarding the name for ref 19, plus wikilink Random House
- Wikilink Rapid City Journal on ref 21
- Wikilink Chicago Tribune on ref 22
- Wikilink Critical Inquiry on ref 24
- Wikilink The Press Democrat on ref 25
- Wikilink Pittsburgh Post-Gazette on ref 26
- Wikilink The Paris News on ref 27
- Wikilink St. Cloud Times on ref 28
- Wikilink Philadelphia Inquirer on ref 29
- Wikilink The Sacramento Bee on ref 32
- WP:OVERLINK of Rolling Stone on refs 34 and 36
- Fixed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:50, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- Wikilink The Sydney Morning Herald on ref 37
- Wikilink New English Library on ref 38
- Wikilink Rough Guides on ref 40
- Last name should be followed by first on ref 41, plus wikilink Scarecrow Press per MOS:LINK2SECT
- Wikilink Nanaimo Daily News on ref 45
- Wikilink The Observer on ref 47
- Pipe Slate to Slate (magazine) on ref 52
- Either remove bjorner.com from ref 55 or remove the publisher and pipe the website to that article
- Removed bjorner.com. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 13:50, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- bbcamerica.com → BBC America on ref 56, citing as publisher instead with the wikilink
External links
[edit]- Are you sure Dylanchords is legit enough to be added here?
- Given the recent discussion at Wikipedia:Reliable_sources/Noticeboard/Archive_346#Dylanchords.com., probably better to remove this, so I have. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:59, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
Final comments and verdict
[edit]On hold until all of the issues are fixed; great to have completed a review for the backlog already! --K. Peake 09:21, 3 July 2021 (UTC)
- Many thanks for another patient, thorough and constructive review, K. Peake. I've replied to everything above. I guess the lead may need a bit more work, and another pending issue is that I wasn't able to find a source that I'm happy with for the genre. (Unless "ballad" counts as a genre.) If it's important to include a genre then there is a Billboard page that describes "Blood on the Tracks" as "folk rock", which I can add in. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:02, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- BennyOnTheLoose Thanks for the response, I will look later when I'm done at work and use the 'folk rock' ref. --K. Peake 15:42, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
- BennyOnTheLoose ✓ Pass now, after seeing that the Billboard source calls the album as a whole folk rock but does not specifically link the song to this genre, I removed it and made a few other copy edits for you... great work! --K. Peake 21:07, 6 July 2021 (UTC)
- Thanks again, K. Peake. I really appreciate the effort you put into the review, and your advice. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:28, 6 July 2021 (UTC)