Talk:Ieremia Tabai/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: Thebiguglyalien (talk · contribs) 19:25, 10 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: TheNuggeteer (talk · contribs) 11:43, 28 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Going to review this! 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:43, 28 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! Leaving a note here mostly for my own benefit that I'll need to address Talk:Ieremia Tabai#Birthday and full name before this passes. Thebiguglyalien (talk) 05:18, 2 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Whats 'i-Kiribati'? You should probably change it to 'Kiribati'.
According to MOS:LEADLENGTH (as part of the lead sections requirement) the recommended lead length for this article (3,000 words) is two or three paragraphs. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 12:03, 28 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Education

Source 1 does not exactly state frugality.
where he had to work through his stutter to give a speech in an oratory club What makes the speech special to make it mentioned in the article?
in particular having a great influence on him A bit suspicious by the 'great' here, maybe 'strong'? 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 12:03, 28 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Other comments

Many of the sources here are inaccessible book sources, AGF'ing them. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 12:03, 28 August 2024 (UTC) Reviewing the rest later! 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 12:03, 28 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Rollinginhisgrave comments

Hi Thebiguglyalien, as I mentioned, I'll leave comments on this review. It looks very thorough and well-written so I might not have much to contribute, but I will see what I can do. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 11:16, 15 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Prose and content

Reminding you of birthday stuff.
Gloss Norman Kirk, Botaki ni Karikirakean Aroia Taan Makuri (what type of union), Siau Smith
took a job in the → worked at
he became president of Kiribati add article
He was re-elected as president in 1982. This appears to be some weird wording, given it was the first presidential election, as far as I can tell.
he retained his presidency → the presidency
capitalise Secretary General
where he had to work through his stutter to give a speech in an oratory club This event, without any other information, appears excessively trivial. Contextualise its importance.
He married a woman from the Ellice Islands, Meleangi Tabai. I doubt you have any information of when this occurred, but it is quite jarring to have this at the end without a time reference.
He rose awkward wording
government and Ratieta's proposal different conjunction (i.e. particularly)
He attracted support by using broadcastings of parliamentary debates could you explain what this means?
Tabai and three of his allies ~~all~~ ran against Ratieta
Tabai and three of his allies all ran against Ratieta, preventing Ratieta from qualifying for the four-candidate ballot I think I know what you mean here, but implicit in "ran against Ratieta" is that he is a candidate, and therefore has qualified.
Accepting that any of them could be chief minister of course any of them could be chief minister, reword to express their values (i.e. should be)
financial support from the United Kingdom to support the country active wording so you can avoid repeating support. (i.e. the UK to financially support)
the resource making up the majority of its economy past tense if it was depleted.
Tabai was critical of criticized?
, as opposed to other nations in the region like Kiribati redundant, this is implied.
What was Australia and New Zealand's role in these negotiations, apart from being criticised?
managing the many influential figures add requiring to the front of this
As of 1979, he had two children. Is there a better way to integrate this, i.e. he celebrated with his two children?
He was faced with ~~the prospect of~~ managing
It moved toward a subsistence economy, and it cut funding for public services bit strange for the double it here at the start of the paragraph
than the Pacific leaders who dominated contemporary Pacific leaders?
meaning that new elections were triggered → triggering
As the president of Kiribati this was a result of him being president? If not, better to substitute as for while to eliminate causality.
of a referendum for a referendum
selected as chancellor add article
failed to apply for reappointment I think this needs a comma after it
Tabai received the highest honour of Kiribati, the Kiribati Grand Order, in 1992.[72] I understand that you're putting this here so it can be next to the Honorary Officer, but breaking the chronology takes more away than it gives.
the government People's Lawyer it is quite confusing what People's Lawyer is and why it's capitalized here
unemployment and health add issues to the end of this, and clarify the relation to overpopulation
win in the next election

Suggestions

as of the 2024 election → as of 2024.
became leader of the opposition False title
He instead proposed that they "wait until the next 50 or 100 years before talking about such a subject" → He instead proposed that they wait "50 or 100 years before talking about such a subject"
The court ruled that Tong do you know which court this was?
neglect from the larger nations this can be edited to be more precise.
"for service to Australian-Pacific → for "service to Australian-Pacific
alleging that it was a means to punish substitute a means for intended, more natural sounding.

Sources

[10] Y
[20] N I think he chose Teannaki?
[30] Y
[40] Y
[50] Y
[60] clock I wouldn't say that the text describing independent Senators as a "small group" implies they were a coalition.
[70] Y
[80] Y

Other

No issues with neutrality Y
No OR / COPYVIO Y (22.5% earwig)
Broad / summary style Y
Stable Y
Illustrated Y, understandable that there aren't that many images, what there is, is appropriately tagged.

Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 11:16, 15 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Wait, did you finish the review? 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:18, 15 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, per my comment here. Did you see my comment a bit below that here? Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 11:21, 15 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, thanks for finishing this! Is there some way you can have credit? 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:36, 15 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]

That's okay, I'm not sure what the point of credit is. Would you mind responding to my comment on that page? Sorry if I'm writing this as you are writing a response there. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 11:49, 15 September 2024 (UTC)[reply]