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GA Review

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Reviewer: Reidgreg (talk · contribs) 17:58, 26 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Review to be forthcoming. I did a little MOS cleanup on the article; if you disagree with any of that, feel free to revert and we can discuss as part of the review. – Reidgreg (talk) 17:58, 26 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for taking this on and for the MOS cleanup. The changes all look fine to me. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:51, 26 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion

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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
    some close paraphrasing and verifiabilityChecked
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
    No media neededChecked
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Review comments

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Prose
  • I removed the double quotation marks around the block quote. The introductory statement and styling is enough to indicate that it's a quotation. (MOS:BLOCKQUOTE)
  • Dylan has denied that the song refers to his personal life. In an interview with The first sentence has already been stated and can be removed, though if you want to you can add the year of the interview, such as "In a 1985 interview with" to frame what follows in the context of the section's discussion.Checked
  • Dylan performed the song live 55 times between 18 April 1976, when it was first included in his set, at Civic Centre, Lakeland, Florida; and 30 August 1992, when he played it at the Orpheum Theatre, Minneapolis. 1976 and 1992 were the only years in which it featured in his live shows. I didn't understand exactly what this meant until I was halfway through the sources. Can this be simplified? How about: Dylan has performed the song only 55 times. The first was on 18 April 1976 at Civic Centre, Lakeland, Florida. He retired the song from his setlist the following month and did not perform it again until April 1992, retiring it again in August of that year.
    •  Done Much better than my clumsy formulation. I added the word "live" but happy if it is removed, given that the section heading is "Live Performances." BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 23:03, 28 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
      • CheckedLooks good. I went back-and-forth on that a few times, too, whether it would be better as "performed in concert" or "public performances". I figured it was best to keep it simple. I was a little surprised that the sources didn't comment more on this, whether they felt that this was a difficult song for him to perform. (Without something sourced, best to leave that to the reader to draw their own conclusions.) Reidgreg (talk)
    • Could possibly add http://www.bobdylan.com/songs/idiot-wind/ as an additional citation.
  • at the National Museum of African Art in 1994, including one entitled Idiot Wind. The title of this etching should be styled in either double quotes as a minor work of art or italics as a major work of art (MOS:MAJORWORKS). Given its size (about 4 × 5 ft) I'd tend toward italics, which would also have the benefit of distinguishing it from the song title "Idiot Wind".
  • Lead: The lead should have very clear, concise prose, with simple sentence structure so that readers can skim it easily. A few suggestions:
    • The song was written, or at least begun, in the summer of 1974, after Dylan's comeback tour with The Band that year. → He began writing it in the summer of 1974, after his comeback tour with The Band.
    • Dylan recorded the song in September 1974, but as with some other songs from Blood on the Tracks, re-recorded it in December 1974. → Dylan recorded the song in September 1974 and re-recorded it in December 1974 along with some other[s] from Blood on the Tracks.
    • Optionally: Paragraph break at "Some reviewers" and add more of critical reception and summarize some of the most notable parts of popular culture/covers.
      •  DoneQuestion? - I've added to the lead. The pop culture and cover influences seem to me less relevant here than an attempt to provide a quick summary of the critical reception, but I may be wrong about that. As this is a key part of the article i'd be very happy to receive further advice on this. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:57, 29 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
        • I think what you have is good (on reflection, I agree with your reasoning), and a two-paragraph lead is about right for an article of this size.Checked
Referencing & verifiability

Thanks for naming the references!

  • "UNCUT" Nick Hasted, 2013 reprint of 2005 story
    • Added |orig-year=2005 to citation
    • Checked with other source, no synthesis
  • "Rogovoy2009"Checked
  • "GillOdegard2004"Checked added |page=148 to the citiation
  • "Flanagan2010"
    • Verified first quotation. For the second quotation: "It didn't pertain to me. It was just a concept of putting in images that defy time – yesterday, today and tomorrow. I wanted to make them all kind of connect in some kind of a strange way." I don't see the underlined words at that position in the source.
    •  Done Corrected. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 23:03, 28 April 2020 (UTC)Checked[reply]
  • "Wilentz2011"
    • Was was initially unable to preview that page but found a workaround.Checked
  • "Heylin2010"
    • Verifies Tony Brown bass and Paul Griffin organ overdub at A&R, but different number of recorded takes: five on 16 Sep and three on 19 Sep. (from table at end of article)
    • Question? I think the take information use matches the official release info, which was published a few years later than Heylin's efforts that may not have managed to uncover everything. Are amendments to the article required on this point? BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:58, 29 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
      • With cases like this, what I'll try to do is have the best information, what makes the most sense, in the article, cited to the sources that support it. Then I'll have a footnote explaining the difference in sources, with additional citations there. For example, 2010–2017 Toronto serial homicides#cite note-nitrate-21 (that was a tricky one, I'd called an RfC for advice on it).
  • "OHAGAN" – The GuardianCheckedverified both quotations
  • "Creswell2007"
    • "epic of elegantly phrased bile" and is "not based on logical exposition" the source is "not a song based on logical exposition". I would suggest to either add an ellipsis "not ... based" or pull the not outside of the quotation as: and that it is not "based on logical exposition".
  • For the passage Dylan first recorded "Idiot Wind" in New York City on 12 September 1974 during the initial Blood on the Tracks sessions at A&R Studios. The first recording included only guitar and bass accompaniment, with organ later overdubbed. That December, working from a suggestion from his brother that the album should have a more commercial sound, Dylan re-recorded half the songs on Blood on the Tracks, including "Idiot Wind," in Minneapolis. there are four sources:
    • "Heylin2010" verifies guitar and bass with organ overdubbing, at NY A&R, but gives a date of 16 Sep 1974.
    • "OHAGAN" verifies that advice from brother led to re-recording in Minneapolis. This also notes 16 Sep 1974 as the day Dylan began recording for the album.
    • Jones, BBC, verifies advice from brother to re-record. (Note: this source is under a CC licence, so copyvio does not apply.)
    • "Creswell2007" This is the only cited source which gives the date as 12 Sep 1974 (and the only instance I recall that date from the article's sources). Suggest using the 16 Sep date. If you feel it is important, the difference between sources can be stated in a footnote.
  • "Wise2017"Checked
    • The New York sessions were engineered by Phil Ramone. In New York, Dylan's guitar was tuned to open D with a capo on the second fret so that all of the songs were in the key of E. Is quite close to the source: Throughout the chaotic sessions, engineered by the legendary Phil Ramone, Dylan's guitar remained tuned to Open D – D, A, D, F#, A, D – and, with a capo on the 2nd fret, every single song was recorded in the same key of E.
      • The second part may be too technical to paraphrase but we can at least change the structure. Suggest: The recordings were engineered by Phil Ramone in New York[10] and by Paul Martinson in Minneapolis.[11] In New York, the songs were recorded in the key of E, with Dylan's guitar tuned to open D with a capo on the second fret,[10] while the Minneapolis recordings are in standard tuning.[11] (Actually, Wise covers all of the above.)
  • "UNCUTMBMT" - Uncut "Read the complete tracklisting..."
    • Paul Martinson was the engineer for the Minneapolis sessions. Red XNFailed verification. Did not spot Martinson mentioned by source. However, this is covered by "Wise2017" so you can use that citation for the whole passage.
      •  Done Wise2017 now used for the whole para.
    • Confirmed details of track released on TBS V1–3, and on table for MBMT set.
  • "Dalton2012"
  • "AMSO"Checked
  • Zollo interview (part 2 and 7)Checked
  • bobdylan.com – 7 pages from primary source
  • "WILLMAN" – Rolling Stone
    • verified quotation
    • A live version from 23 May 1976 is included as the closing track to Hard Rain. "WILLMAN" says that it was recorded on his 35th birthday, which would have been 24 May. bobdylan.com doesn't give the details. I didn't spot it in "Heylin2011". Suggest using one of the setlist sources to verify the date of the Fort Collins show as 23 May.
    • Question? The List of performances has Fort Collins on 23 May and nothing after that until 1992. I've amended the reference from Willman to a source that I think supports 23 May, but will look again for supporting sources if required. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:58, 29 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
      • Good, I'm satisfied with that.Checked
  • "ODAIR2009"Checkedverified quotation
  • "Hampton2019"Checked
  • "Kinney2014"
    • originally regarded the song as "absurdly spiteful" This source quotes Bangs as calling the song "ridiculously spiteful" and the record an "absurdly pretentious mess".
  • "BJ762" – This looks a bit like a fan site, but author Olof Björner is a serious researcher and it looks as though some of the material has been published.
  • "Bell2013"
    • Checked Didn't go over everything in the table.
  • "Williamson2004"CheckedAGF
  • Rolling Stone 10 Classic AlbumsChecked
    • CottChecked
    • LandauChecked
  • "Ricks2011"Checked
  • Rolling Stone Nat Hentoff, "On the Road"Checked
  • "COWAN"Checked
  • "Burger2018"Checked
  • "Beviglia2013"Checked
  • Alexis Petridis, The GuardianChecked
  • The Guardian "Are these the lyrics"Checked
  • SmithsonianChecked
  • Rolling Stone HootieChecked
  • SVTChecked
  • BBC Radio 4
    • Because the source isn't that page but the linked audio file, I added {{cite AV media}} for the audio file (a podcast of the original radio programme).
  • "McPherson2017"Checked
  • "RWG"Checked
  • BBC – Olivier AwardsChecked
  • Idiot Wind: A MemoireCheckedprimary source
  • NY TimesCheckedsecondary source for the above
  • Uncut Mary Lee's CorvetteChecked
  • DeezerCheckedbut primary source, is this notable?
    •  Done removed due to notability not being established.Checked
  • "PVI2011"Checked
  • I removed the parenthetic year after Barbara O'Dair (2009) and David Goldblatt and Edward Necarsulmer since the year is given in the inline citations. (You don't need both parenthetic and inline citations.)

Additional note: I was being pretty thorough with the sources but had forgotten to use Earwig which turned up this striking similarity with https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/2598848/Biograph/You%27re+a+Big+Girl+Now+%5B%23%5D which is discussing TBS Vol 14:

  • and in 2018 on the single-CD and 2-LP versions of The Bootleg Series Vol. 14: More Blood, More Tracks, while the complete New York sessions were released on the deluxe edition of the latter album.[16] The deluxe version of The Bootleg Series Vol. 14 also included a remix of the December 1974 master issued on Blood on the Tracks.[17] A live version from 23 May 1976 is included as the closing track to Hard Rain.[18]
This is the exact same wording as lyrics.com: and in 2018 on the single-CD and 2-LP versions of The Bootleg Series Vol. 14: More Blood, More Tracks, while the complete New York sessions were released on the deluxe edition of the latter album. The deluxe version of The Bootleg Series Vol. 14 also included a remix of the December 1974 master issued on Blood on the Tracks. A live version of the song, recorded on May 23, 1976, appeared on Hard Rain.
Searching through the article history, I found that this passage evolved in the article over a series of edits beginning 22 October 2018, which is close to the 2018 release of the subject matter, and consistent with our writing process. I find it highly unlikely that Wikipedia editors would have copied it from lyrics.com piecemeal, over several months, while at the same time adding references. So I am fairly confident that there is no copyvio on our part. – Reidgreg (talk) 15:53, 28 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Breadth & focus
  • In Background and recording, it's twice mentioned that the first recording had only "guitar and bass" accompaniment/instrumentation. I'd suggest removing the first mention (incorporating the details into the second mention) so that, per summary style, that paragraph can set context for the sessions and then the following paragraph can discuss the differences between them. Alternatively, you could do it more chronologically, and discuss the New York sessions in the first paragraph, then the details of the re-recordings in the following paragraph.
  •  Done - added to what was the second mention. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:58, 29 April 2020 (UTC)Checked[reply]
  • There's redundancy with A live version from 23 May 1976 is included as the closing track to Hard Rain. and This live version from 23 May 1976 is included as the closing track to Hard Rain. I suggest keeping the second mention.
  • Swedish musician Amanda Bergman used to perform under the stage name Idiot Wind. Do you have a source which connects this to the Dylan song rather than the Kees poem?
  • Repetitive mentions of Girl from the North Country in the In popular culture and Covers sections. Suggest combining the sections or moving them adjacent to one another.
Media

Never released as a single, so no cover art. Discussion of the track is more about its themes and poetry than the music, so an audio sample isn't necessary (and might be difficult to justify for fair use). Performances are fairly rare so the availability of a free concert photo may not be readily available. Considering all of this, I think it's fine without media.Checked

  • Question? I could maybe add a link to an official Dylan YouTube audio version under external links. Video of the Fort Collins live performance is widely unofficially available - I'm not familiar enough with the guidelines to know whether a grabbed screenshot from such a source would be acceptable fair use, but can look into that if you think it would be worthwhile. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:54, 29 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
    • For fair use, you'd have to make an argument that it was necessary for the reader's understanding of the subject. The external link sounds good.

Other areas to improve

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Although not part of the GA criteria, here are some other areas you might want to consider for possible improvement towards FAC:

  • Several of the pages from bobdylan.com are cited twice; you could name these to avoid redundancy in the reference list.
  • "Blowing like a circle around my skull/From the Grand Coulee Dam to the Capitol" We generally don't link within quotations as this can give undue emphasis to part of the quote. Consider unlinking. The following quote "fierce ... And it's a true rhyme because of the metaphorical relation, because of what a head of state is, and the body politic, and because of the relation of the Capitol to the skull (another of those white domes), with which it disconcertingly rhymes. An imperfect rhyme, perfectly judged". is a bit on the long side. MOS:BLOCKQUOTE recommends using a block quote for quotations exceeding 40 words (general rule-of-thumb). Alternatively, you might paraphrase some of it (part of the middle).
  • After giving their full titles the first time in the prose of the body, consider abbreviating the long titles: The Bootleg Series Vol. 14: More Blood, More Tracks → The Bootleg Series Vol. 14 and The Bootleg Series Volumes 1–3 (Rare & Unreleased) 1961–1991 → The Bootleg Series Volumes 1–3.
  • The release chart could economize space by adjusting the date format. You can play around with this using {{date table sorting}}, and using a search/replace to change the |format= parameter if you later want to make adjustments. You could also extend more of the cells down multiple rows, though I'm not sure how this would affect sortability. You could also use footnotes for the table to tighten the formatting, for anything which is repeated but where cells are not adjacent or where you don't want to extend cells down rows.
      • Not done for now I've made some changes to the table that I hope help a bit but I played about a bit with other date formats and didn't get what I was looking for. As far as I can see, the table sorts OK at the moment and moving the notes into efn's has made it less cluttered. If any of the table changes have made things worse I'll revert them BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:57, 29 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think there are enough reliable secondary sources that the article doesn't have to use bobdylan.com. These should probably be replaced before going to FAC, but they're fine for now. You could also look for secondary sources for some of the popular culture/covers entries, to show they are notable.
  • The ref The Stage doesn't seem to be needed.
    • Question? I included the Stage ref to verify that Atim played the role at both the Old Vic and the West End transfer (which I felt isn't explicit in the Guardian article) but happy to remove it if not required. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 23:03, 28 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
      • Ah, okay. Keep it then.

General discussion

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Interesting read, good subject. I've noted a lot of little things which are part of the normal evolution of an article, and shouldn't be too difficult to fix. I'm putting this review "on hold" for seven days for you to respond and make edits to the article to meet the GA criteria. If you disagree with any of my notes, I'm certainly open to discussion. – Reidgreg (talk) 14:56, 28 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Reidgreg - Thanks very much for taking the time to produce such a helpful and comprehensive review. I'll work through the points you raise. Thanks also for the improvements you've already implemented. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:03, 28 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I've added to the interpretations section. I accessed the Farren article through Wikipedia Library membership of Rock's Backpages. The article also says "There's a certain amount of lyric bending too. Odd phrases in ‘Idiot Wind’ are subtly altered ..." BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:46, 29 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Reidgreg Thank you again for such a thorough and constructive review. This is my first stab at putting in a GA nomination myself and, as I hoped, I've learnt from it - particularly to check direct quotes more carefully. Hopefully I've dealt with your earlier observations, other than where indicated. Let me know what else remains to be done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:57, 29 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
AGF for paywalled source. For the Farren quotation, if you want to use another one, remember the fair use rule-of-thumb that quotations should total less than 10% of the article (from the link, that would be 85 words or less). Within that quote, I put "Idiot Wind" in single quotes (MOS:QWQ).
You're welcome! There are an awful lot of little subtleties to writing articles, and we're all volunteers, we can't know everything. The Earwig tool helps a lot for checking quotes (and copyvio), when the sources are online.
I'm satisfied that the article now meets the GA criteria and am passing it – thanks for your quick responses. I've got this page watchlisted, if you want to continue discussions. Or you can ping me on the article talk page, or my talk page. Congrats on the GA! – Reidgreg (talk) 21:44, 30 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
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