Talk:Ich will den Kreuzstab gerne tragen, BWV 56/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Yash! (talk · contribs) 10:14, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I will be done in 24 hours. Yash! 10:14, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Just a thought; shouldn't the English translation be in italics? (E.g., Atemlos durch die Nacht?

Many discussions already, nutshell: italics if the translation is a title (!) used in English, such as Sleepers Wake, not if is only a help to understanding, + there are often many possible translations --GA

Link Leipzig.
Mention that he wrote the cantata in Leipzig only once.
In the infobox, use "two" instead of "2" and "five" instead of "5".

no, see FAs such as BWV 22, + consistency over 100+ articles --GA

Why is "Thomaskantor" in italics?

as a German word which is not a proper name, but I wouldn't fight over that ;) --GA

I am not much familiar with this, but it's written "three oboe parts" in the lead and "two oboes" in the infobox. Can you clarify?

The lead is for the uniniatiated ;) - "two violins" means the same as "two violin parts", just avoiding to say "parts" a few hundred times, - dropped parts for the oboes, as it will have been one player per part anyway. --GA

The last paragraph of the lead is described in the very first paragraph of the prose. So, have to move the last paragraph up in the lead to avoid the awkward repetition and for proper flow.

moved, but won't people be puzzled that it is regarded as third cycle, but then learning that it was written in his fourth year.

Use "(1653)".

Sorry, don't get that. I don't know if the hymn was written that year or published, - is it that? --GA

It is: "Du, o schönes Weltgebäude" (1653) in the prose. So, either use "(1653)" in the lead too, or don't use it in the prose too. Yash! 20:36, 6 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for good remarks! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:44, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

History and words

In the lead, it was "19th Sunday after Trinity Sunday" in which "Trinity Sunday" was linked, while in this section, the whole is linked to a different page. It is better to stay consistent.

trying to first teach what Trinity means, then the position in the liturgical year --GA

Ref for the second paragraph?

doubled --GA

"The text by an unknown poet but of exceptional quality" - that's not neutral and subjective. Also, I am unable to understand the use of this sentence.

Sigh, the whole thing was translated from German (not by me),- that's an inherited line, - I will try. --GA

Some refs are needed for the facts in the third paragraph.

doubled --GA

Best not to use terms such as "unusual device"

inherited and dropped, but I can tell (OR from writing on many that it IS unusual) --GA

Will need a ref for the "Gott soll allein mein Herze haben, BWV 169" fact.

Which one of the many in that other article do you suggest to take? Dürr with the page numbers for that one? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:56, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

That'd do it. Yash! 20:36, 6 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Scoring and structure

"ofthe" - I can smell that something's wrong here ;)

good sense, my space key is not working well ;) --GA

I was wondering; Why is "3" used instead of "three"? Same question about the sub-sections in "Music".

movement 3, but third movement, the latter not often because the numerals are in the table --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:00, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Music

If you have two translations in the lead, use both of them in the prose as well.

I could possibly offer seven, but think even one is already holding up the flow enough. --GA

I do get it. My point was about consistency. That if there are two translations in the lead, use two in the prose, or if one in the prose, use one in the lead. Yash! 20:36, 6 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Well, I think in the lead you need both meaning translation and literal translation, later I would prefer - for flow - to stick with meaning. As cross staff has a meaning in English that Kreuzstab doesn't have in German (see talk) I rather avoid it. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:51, 6 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"starts off with" -> "starts with".

yes --GA

"Stollen" should be in italics throughout, or am I missing something?

yes --GA

Try to avoid usage of words such as "highly".

inherited and dropped ;) --GA

"aria"Endlich" -> .

yes --GA

Can "Isaiah" be linked?

done, but Book of Isaiah was linked before, - people who really don't know will hopefully have looked it up

4- period should be inside the quotation.

I thought because it's not a full sentence that is quoted? --GA

Yes, I apologise. I got confused with something else. Yash! 20:36, 6 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

There is a "you" in the lead and not in the 5.

Again I could give you possibly seven different translations, here one literal, one meaning, one following the rhythm of the music (in the poem). --GA

"The melody is..." - the sentence can be framed better.

insecure: I tried "written" now, but don't know if you would say "compose" for a hymn tune. --GA

"The melody was written by Johann Crüger, published in 1646, Bach introduces dramatic..." - the sentence doesn't flow. Perhaps a '.' instead of a ',' after '..1645' would do it? Or am I missing something? Yash! 20:36, 6 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry about a comma instead of full stop ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:54, 6 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Unlink "Johann Crüger" the second time you mention him. And, just use "Crüger".

yes, --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:17, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Selected recordings

Only one out of seven entries is sourced. Sources for others?

All are sourced to Bach-Cantatas (on top), one has an extra ref in addition, --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:56, 6 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

References

accessdate for #12?

That's it! I will have a go again at the end. Yash! 18:17, 5 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

fixed --Gerda Arendt (talk) 21:58, 6 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Great work! Passing it... Yash! 00:18, 7 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]