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Talk:Ice dance/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 02:00, 10 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]


I guess I'm going to learn something about figure skating. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 02:00, 10 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Always a good thing! I certainly have learned lots myself, especially about ice dance. Thanks for the review.

Here are my comments:

Lead

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  • as described by in published communications by the ISU (bye by)
Done; ha-ha, nice nod to NSYNC.
  • Switch U.S. to the United States. (see MOS:US).
Done. Didn't know about that, you learn something new everyday. ;)
  • In the late 1990s and early 2000s, ice dance lost much of its integrity as a sport after a series of judging scandals. Teams from North America began to dominate the sport starting in the early 2000s. <<=== You could use a better transition there (unless ice dancing still has no integrity...)
Does this work?: There were calls to suspend the sport for a year to deal with the dispute, which seemed to impact ice dance teams from North America the most.

Competition segments

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  • in the 2018-19 season, the SD came to be known as the rhythm dance <<=== wrong dash
Got it.
  • The structure and rules for the RD. however, remained essentially the same. <<=== typo before however
Thanks for the catch, what a silly error. Suggestion to you as a reviewer, though: I've always thought that if it's easier for me as the reviewer to just make the change, I go ahead and make it, especially a silly error like this. Good rule of thumb, for me: If it takes longer to direct the editor to make the change than it would be for me to make the correction myself, I go ahead and make it. Nobody could ever object to copyediting while reviewing! ;)
  • Gabriella Papadakis and Guillaume Cizeron hold the highest FD score of 123.47 points, which they achieved at the 2018 Winter Olympics.[14]{{refn|group=note| <<<=== some issue with the ref
Again, just needed 2 ellipses.
  • After the 2018-2019 season <<=== wrong dash; just 2018–19
  • all statistics started from zero <<=== all statistics were reset
  • The teams took it in turns to skate the same pattern around two circuits of the rink. (right?)
Yes, but I see now how strangely it was worded. Changed to: The teams performed the same pattern around two circuits of the rink, one team after another... The last 2 items also fixed.

Competition elements

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  • as described by in published communications by the ISU
  • the spin and the combination spin. <<=== specify that a combination spin is just multiple spins in succession
  • 2018-2019 <<<=== wrong dash and just 2018–19
  • defines choreographic elements in Ice dance <<<=== ice should not be capitalized

History

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  • such as Mokawks <<=== typo
Ha-ha, and another silly error! ;)
  • a bunch of U.S. ==>> US (see MOS:US; albeit I see that the MOS changed in September to allow the use of U.S., so I guess you can leave it.)
Yah, I think I will. I personally support that rule change (like the ISU's for figure skating!), even though I didn't know about it. I also support the change in ranges for grade of execution scores, even though it's made it confusing for skaters thus far this season. ;)
  • but it was the first time a team from North America won a gold medal at the Olympics, and the first time Europeans had not won a gold medal in the history of ice dance at the Olympics. <<<=== These two clauses seem redundant.
Moved the phrase for clarity's sake; it now reads: The European dominance of ice dance was interrupted at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, when Canadian ice dance team Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir won the gold medal, marking the first time a team from North America won a gold medal at the Olympics, and Americans Meryl Davis and Charlie White won the silver. Russians Oksana Domnina and Maxim Shabalin won bronze, but it was the first time Europeans had not won a gold medal in the history of ice dance at the Olympics.
  • 21st-century <<<=== no dash
Got it.

Rules and regulations

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  • and two points for if both partners fall.
Yeesh, did I really do that? ;)
  • They can lose five points if they can resume their program three minutes after the interruption begins. <<=== This sentence doesn't quite fit in with the others.
Plus, it's not very clear. Changed to: They can lose five points if the interruption lasts three or more minutes.
  • They can complete these programs within plus or minus 10 seconds of the required times; if they cannot, judges can deduct points if they finish up to five seconds too early or too late. <<=== are you sure it isn't "more than five seconds"
Yes, I am, but it can be clearer. Changed to: if they cannot, judges can deduct points for finishing their program up to five seconds too early or too late.
  • less than 30 or more seconds early <<== something seems off
The regs are unclear to me, so I had difficulty paraphrasing it. I took the easy way out and just quoted it.
  • "The personal, creative, and genuine <<<=== "the" should be lowercase
Ugh, stupid typos! ;)
  • 1997-1998 season <<<=== wrong dash, just 1997–98
Got it, thanks.

Overall

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Fixed.

@Figureskatingfan: All of my comments are minor. The writing looks solid throughout, and is probably close to ready for an FAC (but I'm not an expert on that). Good job! Placing on hold. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 05:14, 10 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Sportsfan77777: Thanks again for the review. Glad to hear that it's already close to FAC, since that's my eventual goal for this article. I appreciate the fresh eyes, since one of my struggles with figure skating articles is that I'm not a skater, so I'm not sure if I'm summarizing, paraphrasing, and describing things from the sources well enough. I need to find more experts, either skaters or fans/other editors of figure skating articles, to put their eyes on them and make sure that I'm doing it right. I also anticipate that future reviewers will catch more. But once I get more expert input, FAC is next for this article. Christine (Figureskatingfan) (talk) 05:46, 11 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Figureskatingfan: It seems good from my "I only watch ice dancing in the Olympics" perspective. I addressed the points above in the competition elements section, and will pass the review. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 22:18, 17 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]