Talk:I Made It (Fantasia song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 01:32, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking this up for review! :) Aoba47 (talk) 01:50, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

General comments

Infobox/lead

I would include the release date of The Definition Of...' as the release date for "I Made It" in the infobox

Added. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

In the "Producer(s)" parameter, use "Tye Tribbett" and "David Outing" instead of "Tribbett" and "Outing" in the infobox

Added. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Please insert a comma in between "fifth studio album" and "The Definition Of... (2016)"; I learned this recently in an English class and would like to share: commas should be inserted when you are mentioning something additional–in this case, Fantasia only has one fifth studio album so mentioning its title as well would be additional, because there's no other possible title it could be

Added, thank you for the info. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

You use "song" quite a bit in the lead (I struggle with this too haha)

Revised, I struggle with this too much lol. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"general positive" → "generally positive"

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Concept and development

"to write a song from her" → "to write a song for her"

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The second paragraph in this section is fairly trivial, but I can understand why you chose to include it within the article; however, I would suggest adding a fragment that connects the first paragraph to the second, perhaps something hinting at her pursuit for God in her music, or something regarding the genre – just a suggestion

Thank you for catching this! I had trouble with this section as I felt that it was important information. I have revised this slightly, but let me know if more changes are needed to be made. Thank you again. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"Brentwood, California" → link

Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"were provided by Tribbett" → "was provided by Tribbett"

Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Composition and lyrics

I believe the specific instrumentation is better suited here, so maybe you could remove it from the previous section

Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"and that she" → "and how she" (this has a better flow in my opinion)

Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

I made a change in this section since I imagine it would be harder to describe than accomplish

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

There is an extra space in between "the" and "times"

Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

What is Singersroom? Perhaps you could introduce it to the reader since he/she may be unfamiliar with it

Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

^^ Same with Soulbounce ^^

Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"did received" → "did receive"

Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"but felt that it cited it" → "but cited it"

Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

You could also introduce Soul in Stereo; is it "Soul In Stereo" or "Soul in Stereo"?

Done. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

You use "but" in contrast three times in a row, so a bit of rewording would do nicely here

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances

"According to a press release from BET, Joyful Noise is a "gospel music hour" featuring performances from gospel performers as well as personal testimonies and interviews." → This sentence is pretty trivial; you should also try relating this to the article in a better manner

Removed. I put in there to explain what Joyful Noise is for an unfamiliar reader, but I agree it is filler at best. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Charts

I also made a change here where I added the publication to the chart name

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Overal

ON HOLD until my concerns have been addressed. Great work as usual, I love reviewing articles for songs that are lesser known, particularly non-singles. Please ping me when you are ready. Thanks, Carbrera (talk) 02:15, 31 December 2016 (UTC).[reply]

@Carbrera: Thank you for all of your help with your review. I apologize for all of the silly mistakes I made in the article. I really enjoyed making the article for the song. I was actually partially inspired by your article for "Start a War" to try this out. Let me know if there is anything that needs further revision. Aoba47 (talk) 05:12, 31 December 2016 (UTC)[reply]