Talk:Hurricane Bonnie (1986)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Yellow Evan (talk · contribs) 19:06, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, JG, I will review this article. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:06, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Why do you link Gulf of Mexico, it's a fairly common term IMO. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:06, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I unlinked it. iPhone Hurricane 95 20:34, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"On June 25, Bonnie was upgraded to a Category 1 hurricane on the Saffir–Simpson Hurricane Wind Sclae" fix typo. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:06, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I fixed the typo. iPhone Hurricane 95 20:46, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

" Shortly thereafter, Bonnie came ashore near High Island, Texas at this intensity." remove "came" from the wikilink. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:06, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Changed it to "made landfall" how's that? iPhone Hurricane 95 21:10, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Why is there a source in the lead? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane
"The hurricane also spawned 11 tornadoes, which, in conjunction with strong winds, destroyed about 25 houses in southwestern Louisiana." cut the strong wind part out, they have strong winds. Also wikilink to tornadoes. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:06, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Also fixed that. iPhone Hurricane 95 20:46, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

MH

"The origins of Hurricane Bonnie can be traced back to a mid-level center of circulation that formed in association " link to atmospheric circulation, not low-pressure area. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:06, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

DoneiPhone Hurricane 95 20:58, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Again, don't wikilink GOM IMO. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:06, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Upon moving into the eastern Gulf of Mexico, an absence of deep shower and thunderstorm activity was observed on satellite imagery, although a distinguishable wind-shift was noted by an offshore buoy." "an absence" sounds weird, change it to "little". Also, what is a "wind-shift". Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:06, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" Moving generally west to west-northwestward across the central Gulf of Mexico, the National Hurricane Center (NHC) sent a " don't include NHC as part of the link. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:06, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Okay I excluded it from the link. iPhone Hurricane 95 21:06, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Over the course of the next 24 hours, satellite imagery showed a substantial increase in upper-level outflow as Tropical Storm Bonnie gradually intensified." can you re-word or brake up this sentence please? Thanks. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 19:06, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"reconnaissance plane into the system shortly before noon on June 25 revealed hurricane force winds 1500 feet above the surface" noon to 1200 UTC and comma after the 1 in "1500". Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane
"This evidence was the basis of Bonnie's upgrade to a Category 1 on the Saffir–Simpson Hurricane Wind Scale, the first of the season.[2]" can you figure out a way to combine this with the previous sentence? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"The depression began to dissipate six hours later, although its remnants persisted until 1200 UTC on June 28, at which time it was located over the U.S. state of Missouri." source? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Preps and impact

Give preps its own section. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Okie doke. iPhone Hurricane 95 20:59, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

any other evacuations? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Texas and LA

The rest of the article seems so jumbled up. It is just a bunch of random facts. YE ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- "Heavy rains caused by Bonnie also lead a small dam collapse in northeastern Liberty County, Texas, resulting in severe flooding." weird way to start a para. I'd go with meteo stats first, not damage.
- "Power outages were reported in the areas around the area where Bonnie made landfall." I could see this first in the article, but change the sentence to "Near where Bonnie made landfall, power outages were reported". Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- "The storm left broken windows, scattered tree limbs, and debris filled streets in Port Arthur, Texas. The damages in Texas totaled to about $1 million." you start back to back sentences with "the", try to avoid that if possible. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Severe flooding left behind by the heavy rains caused extensive damage, with damages amounting to $5 million in damages." read the last part out loud, this is an obvious redundancy. I'd tweak this to "Severe flooding caused extensive damage, amounting to $5 million (1986 USD)". Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Thunderstorms covered a huge portion of east Texas and western Louisiana, causing 10 to 13 in (250 to 330 mm) of rain.[4]" why is this mid paragraph? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"was covered with water and had to be closed." what was covered with water and had to be closed? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" Hank Creek Marina, located across the reservoir, broke free from its moorings and floated into the lake." what reservoir? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" Bridge City reported 7.5 in (190 mm) of rainfall and several places northwest of Beaumont reported rainfall of over 5 in (130 mm)." random, can you please gain some structure. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"he damages in Texas totaled to about $1 million. " you just mention that above! Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Severe flooding left behind by the heavy rains caused extensive damage, with damages amounting to $5 million in damages." same thing. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
You link Port Arthur twice in the same section. 20:15, 11 June 2013 (UTC)
Can you re-organized and brake up the Texas/LA section plz. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:15, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"In Louisiana, most of the damage occurred in Cameron Parish. " to "Most of the damage in Louisiana occurred in Cameron Parish."
"25 homes, trailers, and cabins in southwestern Louisiana were destroyed resulting in about $400,000 in damages.[4] " don't start a sentence with a number. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Torrential rains caused some areas to be flooded to up to 10 ft (3.0 m) deep in parts of Shreveport and a section of Interstate 20 was closed into the Texas border.[5]" Please tweak this to "Up to 10 ft (3.0 m) deep water was reported in parts of Shreveport; a section of Interstate 20 was closed near the Texas border due to torrential rains.[5]" Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Make sure everything is in UTC time. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Two were rescued but one perished.[6]" comma before "but". Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Due to the small size of Hurricane Bonnie, damage was kept relatively low, totaling to $42 million (1986 USD).[7]" no need for "kept" here IMO. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane
Any number of people homeless or stuff like that. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Any # of homes damaged? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:03, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Any # of homes destroyed? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:03, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Why don't you add stuff from NCDC? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:15, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Elsewhere

Any more impact outside of Texas and Louisiana? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Any aftermath? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:00, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

References

You overlink UPI and AP on the refs. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:15, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Ref #4 and Ref #5, you link Port Author twice. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 20:15, 11 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]