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Talk:House of Jealous Lovers/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: IndianBio (talk · contribs) 07:07, 6 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]


Note: I won't be able to respond until Friday night as I will be away from my home for a bit. Aria1561 (talk) 04:00, 8 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, I am back and ready to edit again. Aria1561 (talk) 23:34, 12 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Starting

 Done – Fixed. Aria1561 (talk) 22:19, 14 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • No dab links
  • The infobox clearly does not need so many dates and versions and time parameters being listed. Only list the first release and version and dates. Other can go into a release history table at the end of the article.
 Not done – I left in the duration for the version heard on Echoes because the original version and the album version are different from each other. Many other articles use this way of listing durations in the infobox. Aria1561 (talk) 18:54, 15 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • peaked at #27 on the UK Singles Chart. --> Don't use #, use the phrase number instead. Do this througout the article
 Done – Fixed. Aria1561 (talk) 18:54, 15 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • tracks of the decade --> tracks of the decade lists.
 Done – Fixed. Aria1561 (talk) 18:54, 15 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • curated? or produced?
On the cover art for NBA 2K15, it specifically says "Music curated by Pharrell Williams", so I would just leave it as "curated". Aria1561 (talk) 18:54, 15 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • They met the DFA --> What is "the DFA"? I thought it was a record label? Needs clarification
 Done – ---> "They met James Murphy and Tim Goldsworthy of DFA Records at one of their first performances in New York." Aria1561 (talk) 18:54, 15 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • After hearing the DFA's mix, Sub Pop and the band reacted negatively and initially refused to release it --> Where is Sub Pop coming in the picture?
 Done – ---> "After hearing the DFA's mix, Sub Pop, the band's record label at the time, and the band both reacted negatively and initially refused to release it." Aria1561 (talk) 19:00, 15 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • This whole Background section is immensely confusing. There is no explanation as to what is what. I might be a completely uninitiated person on The Rapture's work process and you need to be very careful with your language.
These fixes to the section should help. Aria1561 (talk) 18:54, 15 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • The single included a remix by Morgan Geist of Metro Area as its B-side. The single format and remix were part of a strategy to market the single through dance music stores --> No, the B-side is listed as something different and this statement is not supported by source.
 Done – ---> "The single included a remix by Morgan Geist of Metro Area as the second song on the A-side and a song titled "Silent Morning" as the B-side." Aria1561 (talk) 18:54, 15 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • The DFA reshape the percussion by layering and reversing the hi-hats and chopping the drums --> past and present tense correction please
 Done – Fixed Aria1561 (talk) 18:54, 15 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • The track opens and closes with long instrumental sections.[8] Its lyrics largely consist of repeating the song's title. --> Please be careful of such short sentences which do not flow together
 Done – ---> "The track opens and closes with long instrumental sections and features lyrics largely consisting of the song's title being repeated." Aria1561 (talk) 18:59, 15 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • project a sense of "invincibility." --> quotes before period
 Done – Fixed. Aria1561 (talk) 18:54, 15 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • His performance, described as a "deranged falsetto", drew comparisons to the Cure's frontman Robert Smith --> Pretty sure you mean to the vocals of Smith
 Done – Fixed. Aria1561 (talk) 18:54, 15 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I have made some for changes for the charts and am happy to pass this as a GA now. —Indian:BIO [ ChitChat ] 09:09, 16 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much for reviewing this :) Aria1561 (talk) 20:05, 16 June 2015 (UTC)[reply]
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