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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


Reviewer: Kavyansh.Singh (talk · contribs) 12:06, 13 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Nominator: Found5dollar (talk · contribs) at 23:13, 12 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Here I am, once again reviewing a presidential desk! (the previous one being Theodore Roosevelt desk) Will comment soon. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 12:06, 13 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

GA criteria

[edit]
GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):
    b (citations to reliable sources):
    c (OR):
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):
    b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

Overall:
Pass/Fail:

· · ·

Comments

[edit]
  • in the Oval Office as their Oval Office desk. – repetition of 'Oval Office'. Can we write and link 'Oval Office desk' as 'official desk'?
  • The J. Stuart Clingman designed desk was built by → " The desk was designed by J. Stuart Clingman, and was built by"
  • used by a President in the Oval Office – We can un-capitalize 'P' in 'President' here.
  • The Hoover desk is a large – 'large' is extraneous, the dimensions itself help the reader understand that the desk is a large one.
  • while the FDR Museum and Library – We'll need to spell and link FDR museum at its first instance in the prose (apart from the lead)
  • plus a single flat top extender drawer, in each pedestal.[2][1] – replace 'plus' by 'and'. Also, inline references at the end of the sentence are preferred to be in ascending order, i.e. Ref#1 should be before Ref#2
  • section containing a single center drawer.[2][1] – Ref order. Same as above.
  • "FDR Museum and Library" v. "FDR Library and Museum" v. just "FDR Library"
  • in a contemporaneous article about the desk – "contemporaneous article"... Better would be to mention who has written/published it.
  • The desk is made completely of → "The desk is completely made of"
  • This fire quickly grew → "It quickly grew"
  • the most destructive fire to hit the White House since the Burning of Washington in 1814. – That seems like an opinion written as a factual statement. Who has described it as "most destructive fire"?
  • The fire was noticed at about 8:00 pm – Add "{{nbsp}}" - a non-breaking space between time and 'pm'.
  • Theodore Roosevelt desk, the desk (emphasis mine) – try to avoid repetition.
  • By 10:30 – missing pm
  • from the time – can remove these words.
  • During FDR's 12 years as president – FDR seems a bit informal. Perhaps, just write 'Rossevelt'
  • Roosevelt died suddenly in 1945, leaving the role of President of the United States to his vice president, Harry Truman. – three things:
    1. "Roosevelt died suddenly in 1945" reads a bit odd. Try "Roosevelt suddenly died in 1945"
    2. "President of the United States" – Is mentioning 'United States' important? Seems reductant.
    3. Our article calls him "Harry S. Truman"
  • On Truman's his first day he cleared off the Hoover desk – Perhaps, on Truman's first day as president
  • former presidents – replace by "Roosevelt's"
  • fixed.
References
  • Upto you, though I recommend using citation templates. Currently, few are formatted as citations, while few are plain references. Please be consistent.
  • yeah, I know it is odd, but I just don't like using citation templates. I feel they clutter the editing age and I just have never really gotten a handle on how they work. I know, bonkers, but its how I am. The few citation templates are left over from other editors working on the page. I'll convert all to plain references.--Found5dollar (talk) 18:04, 13 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref#1 – Missing website/publication details, title not is quotes
  • Ref#3 – Title not in quotes
fixed--Found5dollar (talk) 18:04, 13 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref#6 – page numbers need to be separated by an en-dash (–).
  • Ref#7 – Title not in quotes
  • Ref#8 – same as above. Same with Ref#10, 11, and 13.
  • Ref#12 – "via Google Books." is inconsistent with rest of the books and sources.
  • Ref#14 – Even if it is from an official account, I don't believe that a Facebook source would be reliable enough (except when used as a primary source, like quoting Trump's tweets from Twitter)
  • This is a tough one. This is the only source I can find for the history of the small Oval Office replica at the Hoover Library. I understand your hesitation, but it is cited to a specific National Parks Service ranger on an official page for the Hoover National Historic site, so I don't really see the difference between it and any number of the articles from the FDR library I cite (cited to a specific author and on a site run by a part of the federal government). I see it as a small article just published in a different location. I've been considering if this the entire paragraph is really necessary or not because it basically boils down to "there are no replicas of the desk". Is it clearer to just no include this info?--Found5dollar (talk) 18:04, 13 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Images
  • Suggesting to add ALT text.
  • Images are appropriately licenced.

Quite a lot to do. Putting on hold. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 13:46, 13 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Gave it an another look. Happy to pass the article. Do let me know whenever you try to take Johnson desk or any other to GA. Great work! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 04:50, 14 November 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.