Talk:Holly Dale

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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

This article is or was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Ejd2012. Peer reviewers: Boss Lady 416, Marliethefilmcritic.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 23:46, 16 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Commons files used on this page have been nominated for speedy deletion

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Peer Review

Overall, everything in the article has been relevant to the article topic, the only thing that becomes a little distracting is you talking about Janis Cole and not linking her page so that the audience is able to see that she's not some random person or family member but rather another independent female film director. You remain neutral throughout the article but in certain areas your bias of the film director appears through when discussing the critiques and achievements, but other than those minor frames there are no claims that dominate your author's position. A viewpoint that is underrepresented would be your author's inspiration and passion in her field of work, you discuss her works, but it would be nice to see reoccurring themes that she produces to get a taste of her interests and her personality as a film director. One of your citations is formatted wrong but as far as the links and sources you have incorporated everything looks good. All your sources support the claims in the article as well as contain active links that work. You could link more so that people can see further information about your topics and it would be nice to see more support by reliable references but as far as citing your work you were pretty consistent. I believe one or two of your sources is bias so try to remain as open as possible and while still stating the facts. Also, be careful with rewording a fact because one word itself can impose or indicate bias. Improvement could be done on helping some sentences flow together but overall it was good so don't hesitate to add more, there are so much more topics, themes, and genres, that can be discussed when talking about Holly Dale and her interests. More should be added in that area. Boss Lady 416 (talk) 00:36, 1 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your constructive criticism! As per your suggestions, I have included a hyperlink to Janis Cole's page in the lead paragraph. Additionally, I have specified Dale's interest in challenging social inequalities and societal norms in the Early Career section.

I was not able to determine which citation was formatted incorrectly. Would you be able to tell me which one you are referring to? Thanks!Ejd2012 (talk) 07:56, 11 November 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Second Peer Review

Your wikipage is well written, intelligible, and to the point. You did a good job at focusing on the important facts and making them clear to the reader. I have two minor critiques. The first being that the layout could flow better. I think you can put early career and later career together. There doesn’t seems to be a real need to have them separated since Dale is still contributing to her career. Also, although it is clear Dale and Cole worked as a team, too much focus is put towards the work they did together rather than the work Dale did during her career. An example of this is at the start of the Later Career subsection when it states, “Later in their careers.” More emphasis should be put towards Dale since it’s her page. Other than that, not much else to critique on. It is a concise article and very easy to understand. Awesome work. --Marliethefilmcritic (talk) 19:16, 1 November 2018 (UTC)Marliethefilmcritic[reply]

Euphemisms

The article currently says "During this time, she worked in non-therapeutic massage parlors in downtown Toronto." BLP, and all that. If other contributors think an article shouldn't say, the subject of a BLP worked in the sex trade, then this sentence should be struck. Otherwise it should receive a euphemismectomy. Geo Swan (talk) 15:19, 14 June 2020 (UTC)[reply]