Talk:Hole (band)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aircorn (talk · contribs) 08:55, 29 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]

My apologies for the delay in completing this review. I have left comments below, some I think have been addressed while I was conducting the review. The biggest concern I have about the article is the lack of references in certain sections. The other issues are relatively minor. Feel free to leave any questions below.

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
Generally well written. With articles this size it is inevitable that there will be some prose issues. I have documented ones I found under comments, some are minor others will need a bit of work.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
Too many unreferenced statements in this article. Any quotes should be followed by the reference where the quote came from. I usually expect one citation in every paragraph for non controversial stuff (even if it is the same reference as an earlier one) and one for each statement that could be deemed controversial. A few of the references used are blog sites and one is too youtube, which should be avoided
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
Nothing appeared to missing and while detailed it stayed focussed on the band
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
A few WP:words to watch, but generally pretty good. Maybe tended to play out the song writing controversies a bit. Not too much of an issue though.
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
Stable as
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
File:Hole - Live Through This - back.jpg has rational for Live Through This, but needs rational for this article.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Comments

Whats the difference between the overview and the lead? I would consider combining the two. The lead could do with some fleshing out and should contain an overview of the article anyway. The background is also a bit redundant to formation as well. It starts with hole being formed, while the next section also starts with hole being formed.
but this claim is dubious since she met Kurt Cobain, her second husband, the year after Hole was formed. This needs a reference or else it sounds like we are making that call.
"the name came from my mom. She's like, a therapist, and I said "I had a really fucked childhood", and she said "Well Courtney, you can't walk around with a big hole inside of yourself about it."" Might want to check MOS:QUOTE. I think quotes within quotes should use the single quotation marks
Love once had a "Germs burn" whats a germs burn?
Some of the references should be ordered a bit better or repeated. Basically a reference should follow every quote as well as anything that might be seen as controversial.
the group was approached by Sub Pop and Sympathy for the Record Industry Not sure what this means? Is their name Sub Pop and Sympathy for the Record Industry.
The album peaked at number 59 on the UK albums chart, and sold very well for an independent release. Ambiguous. Very well compared to what. Needs a reference too.
which entered the UK Indie Chart at an impressive number on Impressive is a WP:PEACOCK term.
The album also featured guitar riffs admittedly lifted verbatim from Neil Young and Bauhaus songs admittedly is a bit informal. Not really necessary as we don't need to admit anyone.
a similar retread of themes heavily present in the band's 1991 single, "Dicknail" How does this tie in with the rest of the sentence.

Continued comments

Hole released the debut album, titled Pretty on the Inside, in September 1991, to vast praise from underground critics, especially in the United Kingdom where the band did an extensive tour with Daisy Chainsaw, Mudhoney, and Therapy?. Needs a reference and what are underground critics?
Cobain's suicide also stirred controversy surrounding the final track on Live Through This This paragraph needs some references and probably should be written a bit more encyclopaedic in some places. It reads like someones opinion.
the massively successful album, Massively bit too peacocky.
The band, now with Melissa Auf der Maur on bass, recruited by Love at Billy Corgan's suggestion, toured extensively throughout late 1994 and 1995, and the tour became notorious for its press coverage surrounding Love's fragile emotional state. Long awkward sentence. Would consider spliting Love emotional state into a new one.
Perhaps most infamously, the band was asked to play at MTV Video Music Awards, where they were nominated for the "Doll Parts" music video. Why is this most infamously?
and eventually stormed off the stage with the band after playing only four songs.Reference?
Toward the end of the tour to promote No references for this paragraph.
Hiatus and retrospective releases - needs more references
skyrocketed supposed hiatus
One outtake from the Live Through This recording sessions which was included on this release was the controversial song, "Old Age". The history and writer of this song was the subject of controversy among Courtney Love detractors who believed Kurt Cobain had written Hole's second album, an allegation for which no evidence has ever surfaced. Slightly repetitive sentences. Needs refs and to not be written in wikipedias voice. Sentences like these really need some strong references.
Celebrity Skin and disbandment No references in the second and third paragraph.
Eric Erlandson told Rolling Stone, "I still think a lot of Celebrity Skin is my Johnny Thunders influence coming up – which Courtney just fucking hates. What does this mean?
The album charted incredibly well, Incredibly is peacocky. Incredibly compared to what?
Commercially speaking, Celebrity Skin went on to be the band's greatest success. Reference?
'The tour turned into a publicity magnet, and Hole dropped out of the tour nine dates in, due to both the majority of the fans being Manson's, who were not very interested in the Hole performances, and the financial arrangement for the bands (50/50 cost and revenue splitting) as a reason for discontinuing the tour (Hole had relatively little production costs and ending up paying a large amount for Manson's high cost production) Ungramatical and the multiple parentheses and commas make it very awkward to follow.
The band did not comment on her death How does this fit in with the rest of the paragraph? Either needs to be expanded on or removed.
The band's final release was a single for the movie Any Given Sunday (1999). "Be a Man", released in March 2000, was an outtake from the Celebrity Skin sessions, and was another song co-written and included bass-work by Corgan. grammar
Post-tour and breakup References
However, days later, Melissa Auf der Maur, interviewed in Toronto where she was appearing at the North by Northeast music festival, said she had "no clue" about the band's reported reunion and denied the NME claim she had, or was asked to, contribute vocals to the album or had been asked to tour with the purportedly reunited band saying, "I actually don't know [about the reunion]...I arrived at [the music festival in Toronto] and I heard that Hole were getting back together from people sending me links," she said. This sentence needs some work.
Erlandson stated that he and Love "have a contract",[57] which was later revealed to be a contract preventing either from reforming Hole without mutual involvement. Repetition
Hole launched a new website, and an official Facebook page on January 1, 2010. So did they reform?
It was the most added song on alternative radio What does added song mean.
Awful in the US & Canada Billboard Singles Chart peak positions table needs to be Dabbed
How were the associated acts chosen?
he's out of his mind, Hole is my band, my name, and my Trademark is the emphasis on my added by us or her?
Don't know much about how the timeline was put together (it looks really good btw), but on my computer it doesn't quite fit the screen. Would it be possible to squeeze it or add it into its own scrolling box? No biggy if it can't, more curious,

Sorry. Failing this. It has been open for a long time now and although some edits have been made since then it is still short of references. AIRcorn (talk) 09:08, 26 October 2011 (UTC)[reply]