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Talk:Hiroshima Maidens/GA1

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GA Review

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Nominator: Spookyaki (talk · contribs) 22:37, 28 December 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Borsoka (talk · contribs) 07:38, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it well written?
    A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
    B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
  2. Is it verifiable with no original research, as shown by a source spot-check?
    A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
    B. Reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):
    C. It contains no original research:
    D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
    B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
  4. Is it neutral?
    It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
  5. Is it stable?
    It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
  6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
    B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:

Source review

  • Academic sources of high standard and reliable newspapers are cited.
  • I think Lewis (1998) is the only journal with a reference to the publisher and the place of publication. Why?
    No particular reason. I'll try to add more publisher information if possible, though I'm not sure where Critical Military Studies, the Journal for Peace and Nuclear Disarmament, or Gender & History are published (physically). Spookyaki (talk) 19:19, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

Okay, so this is discussed on the hibakusha page, but hibakusha seems to be a difficult word to translate. It can have multiple valid meanings depending on the kanji used (and perhaps also the reading of said kanji), so it has been suggested that supplying a singular literal translation is perhaps not advisable and that linking the page without a translation is preferable. I will leave it up to you whether the translation should stay or go. Spookyaki (talk) 03:48, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link Ionizing radiation to radiation in the third sentence of section "Raising support in Japan".
    Done. Spookyaki (talk) 19:19, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • After the bombing,... Delete.
    Done. Spookyaki (talk) 19:19, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...who feared that their disfigurements would damage the family's reputation Some context or explanation?
    "For most of their adult lives, the young women had been kept out of sight by their embarrassed families, who understood their disfigurements as subjective reflections on their families’ status rather than as the objective effects of atomic warfare." (Serlin, p. 56) That's what the source says.
Barker possibly offers the following explanation: "A society that placed such great emphasis upon aesthetic presentation and losing face in every sense offered no place for their kind. Some were kept in back rooms for years by parents ashamed of them, while others were so afraid of public ridicule that whenever they ventured out in daylight they scurried down side streets with shawls wrapped tightly around their bent heads." However, for reasons discussed in the article, I'm not sure how trustworthy Barker is when discussing Japanese culture, particularly aspects he sees as negative. Spookyaki (talk) 19:19, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • I'll see what I can find. Spookyaki (talk) 03:29, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ended up going with "Radiation sickness sufferers were stigmatized in Japanese society, and hibakusha's injuries were often seen as shameful. Many of the women had been hidden away by their families, who feared that their disfigurements would damage their family's reputation." How is that?
  • I would integrate footnote "a" into the main text.
    Done. Spookyaki (talk) 19:19, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
    I think you deleted it instead of intergrating.
    It's under "Raising support in Japan," which seemed like a natural place to put it. "Numerous people experienced deep flash burns from heat rays, as well as hair loss and purpura from the radiation. Many of the flash burns developed into keloid scars." Spookyaki (talk) 02:35, 7 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • Link Japanese war criminals.
    Done. Spookyaki (talk) 19:19, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
  • ...after seven years... I do not understand. Did this happen in 1952? If yes, clarify it.
    Yeah, I had a lot of trouble with that sentence. None of the sources say exactly when this visit happened, though Miyamoto says that "after 1952, when the governance over Sugamo was transferred from the SCAP to Japan, the prison became a popular tourist site in Tokyo" and that "in 1952, the petition to release war criminals from the prison culminated," so it seems likely that it did happen in 1952.
I amended it to say "While there, they met with Japanese war criminals, expressing sympathy for them and claiming that while they once held a grudge against them, since so much time had passed since the war ended, they had '[begun] to realize that the war criminals’ plight was the same as theirs'." How is that? Spookyaki (talk) 19:19, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Very interesting and nicely written article. Borsoka (talk) 08:41, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking this review! I am having a pain flare up, so might not be able to begin working in earnest on this until tomorrow. Spookyaki (talk) 15:09, 5 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
Minor note, I added the sentence "In 1980, she testified before the United States Senate about the health impacts of nuclear weapons" in reference to Shigeko Niimoto based on a source that came out after the nomination. Spookyaki (talk) 19:19, 6 January 2025 (UTC)[reply]
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