Talk:Hail/GA1
GA Review
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I will begin reviewing this article. Note that this is my first time performing such task, so this review might no be up to usual standards. Any additional comment are welcome KnowledgeRequire (talk) 22:07, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
- If you seek a second opinion, there is a template you can use to involve a second reviewer. Just place it on the GAN page, and someone will probably help out. Thegreatdr (talk) 22:26, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
The image in the introduction should be replace with another one, or just remove the measurement at the top-left corner. If another image can't be found, then ignore this.(See comment in the Response section.)
Although perhaps this is not necessary, I believe a brief sentence covering hailstorms should be added to the introduction that discuss the usage of this term. Use the AMS Glossary for this.
Incitation number one is not in cite web format.
What does GR and GS stand for? If information can be found, please add to the article for clarification.
Hail can occur within any thunderstorm,[1] and is only produced by cumulonimbi (thunderclouds), usually at the leading edge of a storm system. The term "type' should be added between "any" and "thunderstorm". Turn cumulonimbi into plural form to remain consistancy.
Hail formation requires environments of strong, upward motion and... I believe this is describing the updrafts presented in the formation of hails? If so, then clarify.
...which are deposited upon the hail stone as it cycles through the cloud multiple times, suspended aloft by strong upward motion until its weight overcomes the updraft and falls to the ground. Again, same issue. Add the term "air" after motion.
Hail is normally produced by tornadic thunderstorms. Nothing is wrong with this sentence except I think it should be merged with the sentence that states that hail can form in Cumlonimbus clouds.
Entrainment of dry air into strong thunderstorms over continents can increase the frequency of hail by promoting evaporational cooling which lowers the freezing level of thunderstorm clouds giving hail a larger volume to grow in. A technical term, Entrainment, is used. Avoid it. It should be written as: "The placement of dry air into strong thunderstorms..."
In the size scale section, I suggest information should be added about the inaccuracies of using items such as: Hen's egg, Marble, Pea, and other organic materials because of their varied dimensions.
Put Two dollars in parentheses and add the term toonie. Eliminate the "dollar" in Quarter dollar, put 25 cents in parentheses.
Information on the falling speed of these differential sized hailstones should be added, if you can access the source.
Accumulating hail storms can blanket the ground with over 2 inches (5.1 cm) of hail, cause thousands to lose power, and down many trees. "Bring" down many trees. Use another term if approriate.
Narrow zones where hail accumulates the ground in association with thunderstorm activity are known as hail streaks, which can be detectable by satellite after the storms pass by. I believe these are called hail swaths, not streaks.
...as it can cause serious damage to automobiles, aircraft, skylights, glass-roofed structures, and most commonly, farmers' crops. This sentence is the generally the same as the opening sentence for the damage section.Because of the lead paragraphs is suppose to summarize the content of the article, I think a bit more details can be added to the damage section(if more details is added, it should be re-titled as Hazards).For example, during hailstorms, aircrafts would have trouble landing and during the time it is in flight.
Hail can occur within any type of thunderstorm as it is produced by cumulonimbi (thunderclouds)... I don't think dry thunderstorms can produce hailstones.Well, they do produce hailstones(which is the main cause for the formation of lightnings), it's just that these solid precipitation will never reach the ground during dry thunderstorm phenomena. Perhaps that should be added to the article.
Responses
[edit]The lead actually mentions what GR and GS stand for. Are you asking what words those are meant to be acronyms for? Cumulonimbi is already in plural form (see latin plural forms). Added air into a couple sentences where I noticed it should be added, per your comments, although that term is likely needed in other sentences, so I'll keep working on it. Moved the tornadic line at the end of the lead much closer to the strong vertical motion line, per your comment. Changed the word entrainment to movement, to help clarify the meaning. Will work on the additional issues. To help me out with improvements, please strike out the comments you feel I've taken care of. Thegreatdr (talk) 22:52, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
- Yes, I met the definition of those words in acronyms. KnowledgeRequire (talk) 22:58, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
- I made a mistake about the placement of the tornado sentence. It should be merged to what it originally said about the formation of hailstones in thunderclouds. This is the sentence you should of merged the sentence to Hail can occur within any thunderstorm,[1] and is only produced by cumulonimbi (thunderclouds), usually at the leading edge of a storm system. Sorry, for the confusion. KnowledgeRequire (talk) 23:01, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
Added information concerning hail stone terminal velocities. Thegreatdr (talk) 23:06, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
- Offline for now. Inform me of the changes on my talk page once you are done. KnowledgeRequire (talk) 23:46, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
- Probably won't have much additional time to work on it until late tomorrow. Thegreatdr (talk) 03:06, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
- Offline for now. Inform me of the changes on my talk page once you are done. KnowledgeRequire (talk) 23:46, 28 August 2009 (UTC)
Dealt with the GS/GR meanings and coin nomenclature dilemnas. The reference I have (and there were several I pored through) called them hail streaks, not hail swaths. Some may call them hail swaths too, however. Should I search for a good reference which defines hail swath? I've made another stab at the sentence merger within the lead you commented upon. Thegreatdr (talk) 15:22, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
- Yes, I believe a reference should be used to define hail swath, it would be necessary for clarification and accessibility. KnowledgeRequire (talk) 16:16, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
- I found the original copy of the image that used in the lead without the measurements, though I'm not sure how to access it. Do I just revert the current edit? Here is the link. KnowledgeRequire (talk) 16:52, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
- I believe so. Never tried to revert an image edit before. Thegreatdr (talk) 18:18, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
Added qualifier per your comment about "any" thunderstorm producing hail. Changed wording with "most". Changed damage wording in the lead to be "man-made structures" to reduce the repetition between the lead and the rest of the article. The AMS glossary online does not have a listing for hail storm. Thegreatdr (talk) 18:31, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
- Try this link: http://amsglossary.allenpress.com/glossary/search?p=1&query=Hailstorm KnowledgeRequire (talk) 18:36, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks. It is done. Thegreatdr (talk) 19:52, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
Added another line or two about aircraft damage due to hail. Also added a line concerning measurement with a ruler was the primary way of determining hail size, per your comments. Thegreatdr (talk) 20:18, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
Overall...
[edit]This article was well-referenced and had approriate incitations. It was obviously written to great standards and with a neutral perspective, though a few mistakes were presented that has now been attended to. It is broad in coverage and pretty much covered everythin related to the subject(well, aleast according to my references). This article was stable, no recent edit wars and images were put into good use. This article was passed the Good Article Criteria. KnowledgeRequire (talk) 21:51, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks for the quick and thorough review. Thegreatdr (talk) 22:00, 29 August 2009 (UTC)