Talk:HMS Montagu (1901)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Kges1901 (talk · contribs) 01:54, 23 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one as well. Comments:

Lead

Suggest linking 12-inch guns
- Done
The ship's career was short; she spent the years 1903–1905 in the Mediterranean Fleet before transferring to the Channel Fleet in early 1905. Suggest changing to 'The ship had a brief career, serving with the Mediterranean fleet for two years before transferring...'
- Works for me.
she proved to be a total loss - perhaps change to 'declared a total loss', though this is not explicitly stated in the body of the article
- I think that's a little more in the wrong direction as far as active vs. passive voice.

Design

Link 6-inch guns, 12 pdr guns, and 3 pdr guns
- All done
Link belt armor, bulkheads, gun turret
- Done
main battery turrets sides suggest changing to 'the sides of her main battery turrets'
- Done
Missing mention of range in body
- Removed from the box - I don't have a sourced figure and I missed removing it before.

Operational history

28 July 1903 to '28 July of that year' to avoid repetition of 1903
- I think we can just drop the year.
I presume her service in the Mediterranean and Channel was routine peacetime duty; do your sources have anything more than what is already in the article?
- No, nothing I was able to uncover - contemporary naval/military journals can sometimes provide useful details, but they're pretty hit or miss.
was involved with testing new wireless telegraphy equipment in the Bristol Channel, which included sending Suggest change to 'tested new wireless...Channel, sending'
- Done
a series caissons, Is that supposed to be 'a series of caissons'?
- Good catch
whilst trying to help the salvage effort Could exactly how Duncan was to help the salvage be elaborated on?
- Burt doesn't say - I'd guess
Per this and this her captain was severely reprimanded by the court-martial and his naval career effectively ended by the incident; suggest mentioning this.
- Added a line on this, good find

Bibliography

Is there an OCLC for Scientific American? Suggest adding that, the specific date of the issue, issue number, volume etc and the page numbers of the article to the citation.
- Added the ISSN and the rest of the details.

Suggest adding the title for the reference you added in the bibliography. Kges1901 (talk) 17:40, 25 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]

There isn’t one for that – it’s in a section of assorted news items, some of which have titles but most of which don’t. There’s also not a title for the section as a whole. Parsecboy (talk) 20:07, 25 December 2018 (UTC)[reply]