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Talk:HMS Gipsy (H63)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: CrowzRSA 03:56, 26 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

  • prewar should be changed to "pre-war".
    • Done.
  • The ship was transferred shortly after the beginning of World War II to the British Isles to escort shipping in local waters. This sentence needs to be re-organized. I recommend something like: "The ship was transferred shortly to the British Isles to escort shipping after the beginning of World War II.
    • Agreed.
  • Less than a month after her arrival she struck a mine outside… Change "mine" to "naval mine".
    • No, it's linked, that suffices.
  • …outside Harwich and sank with the loss of 30 of her crew.. Reads poorly. Change to: "…outside Harwich, causing her to sink and lose of 30 of her crew."
    • I disagree.
  • You link "overall length" to Overall length, when it should actually link to Length overall.
    • Good catch.
  • Meters needs to be linked.
    • Really? Feet and meters both linked.
  • You say that it can carry 470 long tons (480 t) of fuel oil, but shouldn't the measurements be in gallons or something? Maybe I'm ignorant…
    • Nope, that's how it's measured in ships.
  • For anti-aircraft defence Gipsy had… it's defense, not "defence".
    • Not in British English.
  • The link "21-inch (533 mm)" should be extended to "21-inch (533 mm) torpedoes".
    • Done.
  • "…but this increased shortly after the war began to 35. Reads poorly. Change to "but this increased to 35 shortly after the war began".
    • Good idea.
  • at Govan in Scotland Change to "at Govan, Scotland".
    • Done.
  • Exclusive of government-furnished equipment like the armament, the ship cost £250,364. This line doesn't read well to me. It should be re-worded.
    • Done.
  • …Gipsy spent the prewar period… prewar → pre-war.
  • Done already.
  • Unlink "1st Destroyer Flotilla" and re-word to "first Destroyer Flotilla".
  • On the outbreak of war in September 1939 Gipsy was… Comma after 1939.
    • Good catch.
  • Again, 1st Destroyer Flotilla → first Destroyer Flotilla.
    • Again, no.
  • Gipsy, and her entire flotilla, was transferred to the Western Approaches Command at Plymouth in October. Several problems with this sentence. Re-word to "Gipsy and her entire flotilla were transferred to the Western Approaches Command at Plymouth in October 1939".
    • Done
  • …and returned to port to turn them over the army. Which army are you referring to?
    • The one garrisoning Harwich in the UK.
  • Trust your luck Luck should be capitalized.