Talk:HMS Carysfort (1914)/GA1
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 11:35, 1 April 2016 (UTC)
I'll have this to you soon. JAGUAR 11:35, 1 April 2016 (UTC)
Initial comments
[edit]- I think that the lead could be expanded somewhat to summarise the article. The body of the article is quite comprehensive, so adding some details about its career might be possible
- See how it suits now.
- The lead doesn't mention when or where she was commissioned
- Normally I only orientate the reader to the decade in which a ship was built and leave the rest for the main body. But since people might not actually know when WWI was, I've added the year.
- "For anti-aircraft defence, she was fitted with one QF 6-pounder 57 mm (2.2 in) Hotchkiss gun. The ship also mounted two twin, above-water, mounts for 21 in (533 mm) torpedos" - any reason why metric is before imperial in the first instance? Also, isn't torpedoes the correct plural?
- "The walls of their conning tower were 6 inches thick" - convert to millimetres
- Already done of first use.
- "was replaced by a Ordnance QF 3-pounder 47 mm (1.9 in)" - metric is mentioned before imperial here. I'm fine with it but I was wondering if it was an oversight?
- "in occupied Belgium" - link German occupation of Belgium during World War I
- Good idea.
- No dead links
Those were all of the minor issues I could bring up. But overall, it's a well written and comprehensive article. JAGUAR 11:57, 1 April 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. Let me know if any issues still remain.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:34, 1 April 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks for addressing them! With all of those out of the way, this meets the GA criteria now. JAGUAR 20:56, 1 April 2016 (UTC)