Talk:Grey heron/GA1
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Reviewer: FunkMonk (talk · contribs) 00:48, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
- Hi, I'll review this soon. FunkMonk (talk) 00:48, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
- At first glance, I can see there are superior, featured photos on Commons that are not used, and could probably replace some here. There could be a close up of the head under description, for example.
- Head image beside description text; found a decent flight image (with some difficulty: the finest photos are disjoint from the encyclopaedically useful ones, unfortunately). Chiswick Chap (talk) 06:50, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
- Replaced. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 18:27, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
- There could be some information about evolution, and more on taxonomic history. Synonyms?
- No synonyms that I could find. Have added some evolution and taxonomy. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 18:27, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
- The last ref is not formatted.
- removed. Chiswick Chap (talk) 06:47, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
- "thumb|In flight" Seems like an image has gone missing under Distribution and habitat.
- removed. Chiswick Chap (talk) 06:50, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
- The culture section mentions what the animal symbolised for some cultures, but could be nice to see what attributes gave it this reputation.
- That would be guesswork, worse luck. Chiswick Chap (talk) 06:47, 19 October 2015 (UTC)
- "The scapular feathers are elongated, but are not as long as the wings" But is this otherwise common in birds?
- I think the elongation is unusual. If you look at the main image you will see that the scapulars dangle down rather like a cape and are much longer than those of most birds. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 09:15, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
- I mean is it unusual that they are not as long as the wings? Seems like a given that they wouldn't be as long. Does the source make this wording? FunkMonk (talk) 09:36, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
- The source mentioned the point but I have removed the phrase as superfluous. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 12:24, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
- I mean is it unusual that they are not as long as the wings? Seems like a given that they wouldn't be as long. Does the source make this wording? FunkMonk (talk) 09:36, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
- I think the elongation is unusual. If you look at the main image you will see that the scapulars dangle down rather like a cape and are much longer than those of most birds. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 09:15, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
- "The Australian white-faced heron is often incorrectly called a grey heron.[5] In Ireland, the grey heron is often colloquially called a "crane"." Perhaps this makes more sense in another section than description?
- Moved. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 09:15, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
- "attributable to contemporary genera" Contemporary could be unclear here, perhaps better to say extant or modern.
- "This subfamily includes the herons and egrets, the green herons, the pond herons, the night herons and a few other species" Groups mentioned could need links.
- "The range of the nominate subspecies" Might not be clear to most readers what this means.
- Clarified. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 12:26, 21 October 2015 (UTC)
- The copyright of cropped (or otherwise modified) images does not transfer to the cropper, so the info here should be changed:[3]
- The short paragraph about flight in the middle of description seems like it would belong with the first paragraph under behaviour.
- "In the United Kingdom, breeding starts in late February or March." What about elsewhere?
- "The oldest recorded bird lived for twenty-three years" Wild or captive?
- The source does not specify. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:34, 23 October 2015 (UTC)
- "Such behaviour has been noted in zoos in Vienna, London and Amsterdam.[14][15][16]" Locations seem a bit arbitrarily chosen. It's probably common in most zoos that are near to where they live, I've seen it in Copenhagen Zoo as well.
- Removed. Chiswick Chap (talk) 18:32, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
- "Being large birds, grey herons have few predators as adults, being well able to defend" A bit repetitive.
- Trimmed. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:34, 23 October 2015 (UTC)
- "The surnames Earnshaw, Hernshaw, Herne, and Heron" From where?
- "Roast heron was once a specially-prized dish for special occasions such as state banquets." Where? Seems only UK examples are mentioned.
- Said "in Britain". Chiswick Chap (talk) 18:30, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
- "creatures which it spears with its beak" I doubt that it "spears" the prey, and this wording isn't used in the article body either.
- Removed. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:34, 23 October 2015 (UTC)
- You write one metre in the intro but 100 cm in the article, could be consistent.
- The lead is just a summary of the main text, and I would put "up to a metre" in the lead if the average height mentioned in the article was something close to that, say 98cm or 104cm. I don't see consistency being important here. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:34, 23 October 2015 (UTC)
- Ok, looks fine to me, so will pass. FunkMonk (talk) 15:07, 23 October 2015 (UTC)
- Thank you for the review. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 17:11, 23 October 2015 (UTC)