Talk:Gorman, California/GA1
GA Review
[edit]Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
A few issues with the article that I don't think can be resolved in a short period
- The lead needs to summarise the entire article (see WP:LEAD) rather than simply introduce the subject.
- Convoluted sentences that tie together only loosely related concepts and some that are oddly structured. These need rewriting/splitting - perhaps as below (I've just cherry picked some examples)
- Gorman, California, is an unincorporated community in northwestern Los Angeles County, which in 2005 had only 15 homes and just a few registered voters, but through which some tens of thousands motorists travel daily on the Interstate 5 freeway.
- ->"Gorman, California, is an unincorporated community in northwestern Los Angeles County. It is a small settlement with 15 homes and few registered voters as of 2005, through tens of thousands pass through daily on the Interstate 5 freeway.
- Gorman, some 1,530 acres (6.2 km2) in size,[1] lies where three mountain ranges meet — the Sierra Pelonas, the Tehachapis. and the San Emigdios.
- ->Gorman covers 1,530 acres (6.2 km2) at the intersection of the Sierra Pelonas, Tehachapis and and San Emigdios mountain ranges.
- There are a lot of short-choppy sentences that seem presented as factoids. - the Gorman Joint School District section is a good example of this. Connected ideas should be in paragraphs with the theme flowing from paragraph to paragraph so that the reader is presented with the storey of the place rather than a disjointed list of facts.
- The article says that there are only 15 homes but 75 property owners - are there then 60 properties with no homes ?
- No mention's of earthquakes (the San Andreas Fault is nearby isn't it ?) - including the big one on June 10, 1998
- From what I can see in google books there are some works that would greatly help in making the article sufficiently broad
- I see that there is little/no mention in the article of flora, fauna, mining and minerals, geology, landslides - many of which are pertinant to a sufficiently broad article and about which there seems to be suffient material to write.
Appears factual and fairly well referenced but needs a rewrite/copyedit + expansion of the lead. A good read though - keep up the great work - Peripitus (Talk) 06:42, 21 December 2008 (UTC)