Talk:Golden Eagle Award (Russia)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 04:03, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article right now, since it's short enough. Most awards generally don't have much to add to them, so length is not an issue. Here are the issues I found:

" the formal ceremony at which the awards are presented is the most prominent award ceremonies in Russia" did you mean the "most prominent award ceremony", or that's it's among the most prominent ceremonnies? If the latter it's missing a word.

Done--Tomcat (7) 12:28, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"The national Russian accolade gives out in 20 categories each January" confusing as worded. Did you mean "..accolade is given out in 20.."?

Done--Tomcat (7) 12:28, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Any changes since 2003? From the number of categories it sounds like that the number has evolved over time; that's something that would be worth adding in.
"Originally, the statue "Golden Eagle" was" The "Golden Eagle" statue was

Done--Tomcat (7) 12:28, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"To manufacture each instance takes 55 hours of masters of eight different professions" huh? I have no idea what this sentence is trying to say.

Reworded--Tomcat (7) 12:28, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

"– from the designer and sculptor to the polisher." not sure if this part is needed, as it doesn't really add anything.
"makaelya – a unique marble particular breed, which is produced only in the eponymous town" the town should be linked and noted.

I could not find a city by this name. The source states it is located in southern Spain. But I will search further.--Tomcat (7) 12:28, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I'll put the article on hold. Given the short length I would want to see high quality prose, which this article doesn't have yet. Wizardman 04:03, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I would like to add something. Ref 2 does not corroborate what the article states. The source says "He also set the Russian Academy Golden Eagle Award in opposition to the traditional Nika Award." Nowhere is there an explicit mention of him personally setting the award up. Nor is there mention of the year it was set up. Although a Russian academy is mentioned I would expect it to be explicitly stated it is the academy of Cinema Arts and Sciences. Surely there is another reference that can be used to back up these claims. As this was one falls short. NapHit (talk) 13:11, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Also you haven't addressed any of the points Wizardman rose, in spite of you saying you have. That is not good form, the article hasn't been edited in nearly a month! It's not like he's going to take it as a given you've fixed the issues just because you say you have. NapHit (talk) 13:15, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Actually I have edited the page, and am very curious why it did not save the edits (perhaps an error occurred, or something) --Tomcat (7) 13:39, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Not a good form is accusing me of charlatanism. Stop watching my contributions and enjoy your trip.--Tomcat (7) 13:43, 22 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I see that two of my noted issues are fixed; the others still need to be. Also still not sold on the use of the word "instance" in the construction of the Award. Wizardman 16:01, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

More prose concerns I see. Issues in bold.

"Modelled after the American Golden Globe Awards,[1] the formal ceremony at which the awards are presented is one of the most prominent award ceremonies in Russia, alongside the Nika Award."

"The awarding statuette is a silver eagle, originally made from copper with a jade pedestal, and was designed by sculptor Viktor Mitroshin." - It was changed, so why detail the original in the lede after bringing up the current design? Should be clarified. Also, the award is gold-plated silver. The award itself does not have the appearance of silver.

Also unless something is wrong here with the translations, the "Golden Eagle" is made of gilded bronze and placed on the pedestal of jasper. Though yes it does state in the second source about it being made by Victor Mitroshin, but not his connection to the redesign or anything about the current production and about it being redesigned... ChrisGualtieri (talk) 16:12, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

'Close paraphrasing' again detected. Please see the Google translate of the source #5. [1] Does this text seem familiar?

"For the manufacture of each instance takes 55 hours of master 8 different professions - from the designer and sculptor to the polisher. All elements of sculpture, down to the smallest details of plumage, processed and polished by hand." - Was originally word for word.

Obvious section is obvious.

"The feathers of the lower wing figurines are covered with enamel colors of the Russian tricolor. The tip of the upper wing and part of the pedestal are made of green serpentine marble. The lower contrast of the base of each of the 32 statuettes consists of makaelya – a unique marble particular breed, which is produced only in the eponymous town. Each statuette is made of pure silver (425 grams) and is covered with 18-carat gold. The statue weighs 2,770 kg (6,094 lbs) and measures 47 cm (18.5 inches) in height."

Which one is in the article? Which one is the Google translate? Also. Since when does the award weigh 6,094 pounds? Better get a forklift. I'm tagging this article for CV. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 16:20, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

This is shameful. There is more in the sources that have been lifted as well. This is NOT translating, this is shameless copying. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 16:26, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

This is worth, to start, an immediate fail. Beyond that I'm hoping that I don't have to get a CCI opened, as I've found iffy phrases in other articles before. My copyright senses probably should've went off on that sculptor sentence to begin with. Wizardman 16:27, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Here is the diff of Tomcat7 adding the material. [2] For future readers to go through the matter themselves. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 16:44, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Most of the edits to the article were performed when I had not enough experiences regarding paraphrasing and copyright. However, there are only a few sentences that should be reworded.--Tomcat (7) 18:01, 23 December 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Continuing copyright issues

Drawn to this article by its listing at the copyright problems board, I see that close paraphrasing issues still continue.

Google translation of source	As originally placed in article	As modified immediately prior to the placement of the note above
The feathers of the lower wing figurines are covered with enamel colors of the Russian tricolor. The tip of the upper wing and part of the pedestal are made of green serpentine marble. The lower contrast of the base of each of the 32 statuettes consists of makaelya – a unique marble particular breed, which is produced only in the eponymous town. Each statuette is made of pure silver (425 grams) and is covered with 18-carat gold. The statue weighs 2,770 kg (6,094 lbs) and measures 47 cm (18.5 inches) in height.	The feathers of the lower wing figurines are covered with enamel colors of the Russian tricolor. The tip of the upper wing and part of the pedestal are made of green serpentine marble. The lower contrast of the base of each of the 32 statuettes consists of makaelya – a unique marble particular breed, which is produced only in the eponymous town. Each statuette is made of pure silver (425 grams) and is covered with 18-carat gold. The statue weighs 2,770 kg (6,094 lbs) and measures 47 cm (18.5 inches) in height.	The feathers of the lower wing figurines are covered with glazed colors of the Flag of Russia. The tip of the upper wing and part of the pedestal are made of green serpentine marble. The lower contrast of the base of each of the 32 statuettes consists of makaelya, that is a type of marble that is produced in the eponymous Spanish town. Each statuette is made of pure silver (425 grams) and is covered with 18-carat gold. The statue weighs 2,770 kg (6,094 lbs) and measures 47 cm (18.5 inches) in height.

This rewrite does not begin to address close paraphrasing issues. I have removed this material until it can be rewritten in compliance with our copyright policies.

If there are additional close paraphrasing or copyright issues, please remove or rewrite these. If you cannot, please restore the tag with explanation of the issue on this talk page. Thank you. --Moonriddengirl ^(talk) 22:27, 16 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]