Talk:Georgie Lane/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 15:28, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: FishLoveHam (talk · contribs) 19:51, 11 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Rollinginhisgrave (talk · contribs) 05:36, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be reviewing this for WP:GARC. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 05:36, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I've left some comments, I'll do a second sweep of prose review after you work through these comments. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 05:36, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Prose and content

To prepare for the role, Keegan listened to stories from female combat medics, which interested her as it helped inspire her portrayal. The flow/meaning of this sentence is a bit weird. She listened to soldiers to prepare for the role, which was interesting to her because it helped her prepare for the role?
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 15:07, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
in a compound rmv
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 06:10, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
their last night this is dropped in a bit strangely
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 15:08, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
it is theorised that his associates are to active voice, are to -> will
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 06:10, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
While helping mentoring or earthquake?
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 06:10, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Georgie is reacquainted with Elvis appears euphemistic
- Not done how?? FishLoveHam (talk) 15:19, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Apologies! My mistake, reading too much into it. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 05:41, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

but they are able to reconcile ambiguity with "they" at this point in reading
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 06:10, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
but their next mission results in Elvis being blown up, killing him Active voice, Blown up is too informal, If someone is blown up, it is understood that they are killed.
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 06:10, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
After apologising to Milan for?
- Removed
Elvis's death letter What is a death letter
- Done In the show, it is esentially a pre-written letter soldiers leave to someone incase they die in battle. Removed. FishLoveHam (talk) 15:19, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Captain James leaves a negative report about her introduce Captain James here
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 06:10, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
she leads her team If it is her team, of course she is leading them?
- Not done, You can be on a team without leading it. In this case, she wasnt assigned to lead it, but took charge. FishLoveHam (talk) 06:10, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
and with lethal drug bandits in the jungle -> threatened by drug bandits etc.
- Not done Please explain FishLoveHam (talk) 15:19, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

"lethal drug bandits in the jungle" is very literary. I've tried to reword this but what I'm coming up with is only marginally better. Can leave if you don't have any luck on this front. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 05:41, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

After a tense showdown between?
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 06:10, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
despite the captain now needing despite inappropriate here
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 15:19, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
with the two sleeping -> and the two sleep
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 06:10, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
whether ~~or not~~
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 06:10, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
crumbing under pressure euphemism
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 15:40, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Introduce Fingers
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 06:10, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
for the show's upcoming second series redundant
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 05:43, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
As a "massive fan" Make it more clear that she calls herself this. Every person cast for roles in TV shows calls themselves a massive fan.
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 05:43, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
A BBC spokesperson teased the series would "challenge Georgie professionally and personally". This means nothing. Can be removed.
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 05:43, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
the excitement and adventure that come with serving in the military Wikivoice
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 05:43, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
They continued by detailing a strength of Georgie's is her bravery. -> They continued by detailing that one of Georgie's strengths is her bravery.
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 05:43, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The BBC billed Georgie as... take anything lying down". This section is strings of quotes, and does not conform adequately to summary style.
- Not done So should I remove/paraphrase some of them? FishLoveHam (talk) 14:58, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
In the series, Georgie is from Manchester, a decision series creator Tony Grounds came to after Keegan, who grew up there, was cast as "it was good to write for her voice". awkward wording.
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 05:43, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Keegan heard stories from So she talked to them? Or she just heard them recounting their stories, in books/interviews etc.
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 05:53, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The actress admitted that she was initially "nervous" to meet her co-stars, as she was the only woman cast as a part of 2-Section, but described the team as "great" and "a laugh". quite promo, hard to imagine anything worth keeping here.
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 14:58, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
after finishing her training in Aldershot Garrison introduce that she trained here.
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 14:58, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
combat control What is combat control?
- Done I think I know what it is referring to, but that's what the source calls it so I've removed it. FishLoveHam (talk) 14:58, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
she was left "aching in places [she] never knew could ache" Too much detail, cut.
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 15:02, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Keegan recalled a "surreal" feeling when she first got in costume for the character, adding that she immediately felt a "sense of duty". Keegan opined that the filming experience gave her a new respect for soldiers in the Army, tipping her hat to them. promo, rmv
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 05:53, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
It transpired that rw
- Not done Sorry, I'm not sure what to replace it with. FishLoveHam (talk) 06:08, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not sure either, I don't really write media articles. The trouble here is that it's written in-universe. Perhaps: "As the series progresses, it is established that Georgie..." Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 09:01, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done FishLoveHam (talk) 14:44, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

military accuracy What is military accuracy
- Done I meant accuracy to real-life military personnel. I've removed "military". FishLoveHam (talk) 06:08, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Keegan had left the role after four years to pursue other opportunities reads like a press release
- Not done How should I reword it? FishLoveHam (talk) 06:08, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

If the reason is just some PR cliche, you don't really need to include it. Just mention she left. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 09:01, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done I've kept the reason for leaving, but removed the four years part. FishLoveHam (talk) 14:43, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reflecting on her time on the series, Keegan described her involvement in the show as "incredible" and that she had "loved every second", adding that she considered Georgie to be a "life-changing" role for her. adds nothing, rmv
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 06:08, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Further explaining her decision to leave, Keegan said she would miss playing Georgie and crediting the show with helping her grow as a person, but after four series on the show, it was time to move on. She had only been on for 3 series, and only the last clause should be kept
- Done Kept the fact she'd miss the role. FishLoveHam (talk) 06:08, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
and was finally free rw
- Done Removed. FishLoveHam (talk) 06:08, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
After a "harrowing" episode broadcast on 14 September 2016, summarise the key harrowing plot point instead of referring to the episode
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 15:12, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
being "gripped" tabloid, don't quote them as they exaggerate
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 06:13, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
episode broadcast on 26 June 2018, which showed -> episode showing
- Not done Apologies, I don't see the issue here. FishLoveHam (talk) 15:12, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
to the episode broadcast on 24 March 2020 same as harrowing comment
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 15:12, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
not looking the part euphemistic, be more clear
- Not done I understand this criticism, but I don't know what to replace it with without directly commenting on the actress's physical appearance. FishLoveHam (talk) 06:15, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

overly groomed appearance given the setting? Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 09:01, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done I'll go with that, thank you! FishLoveHam (talk) 14:41, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Grounds defended the actress in a BBC interview, retorting: "Critics talk about her eyelashes rather than her performance". rmv, non-sequitur
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 06:13, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
quote finally free
- Not done I've removed that part. FishLoveHam (talk) 06:13, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 05:36, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Sources

What makes Cultbox a RS?
- It's a media-related news website. I can't find anything about it being an unreliable source. FishLoveHam (talk) 15:25, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The "TVCA Long List 2019" archive link is broken
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 15:33, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Spot check

[1] N Doesn't say she left the show in September, or after the show finished airing.
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 15:17, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
[4] Y, although "She was surprised by how heavy the weapons used were." is not referring to weapons used in the show, but in boot-training from what I'm reading, so the article text is misleading.
- Done FishLoveHam (talk) 15:23, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
[7] clock It's unclear to me why you've reworded "saying it was her 'favourite scene to film'" to "and noted it as one of her favourite scenes to film."
- Done I don't remember why I changed it, I probably just thought it sounded better. Fixed anyway. FishLoveHam (talk) 15:23, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
[10] Y
[13] Y
[16] Y
[19] Y
[22] N This article implies that viewers are warming up to her portrayal, but not really. It seems to be very cautious not to make that claim explicit.
- Done I think I get what you're saying, changed it to "many viewers" as a majority of the responses showcased are positive. FishLoveHam (talk) 15:23, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
[25] Y
[28] Y
[32] Y

Other

Images: well attributed Y
Broad & summary style clock too detailed using promo material, needs to be trimmed
Neutral Y balanced enough
No OR/COPYVIO Y 36.3% earwig, quotes
Stable Y

Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 12:45, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Rollinginhisgrave: I've done my best to address everything! FishLoveHam (talk) 15:24, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Looking good FishLoveHam, passing :). I responded to your email by the way, not sure if you saw. Rollinginhisgrave (talk) 15:27, 21 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.