Talk:George FitzGeorge Hamilton/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Diogenes99 (talk · contribs) 02:04, 13 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	There are some grammatical issues that can be easily fixed. Lede Split sentence containing "through his mother, and his godparents." Drop comma in "adolescence, he." See if you can replace additional instances of FitzGeorge Hamilton with pronoun if possible. Early life Split "December 1898 in London, and was" or rework sentence. Check possessive of mother in "mother and father's" each each owned a different name. In "Chapel Royal, St James's Palace, and was attended" should be "which." Place comma inside "Four Generations" quote. Ancestry This sentence is too confusing: "Also through his father, FitzGeorge Hamilton was a direct descendant of William Hamilton, one of the five Kentish Petitioners of 1701, and was a great-great-grandson of both Admiral Sir Edward Hamilton, 1st Baronet (1772–1851) and Member of Parliament Panton Corbett (1785–1855) of the Corbet family." Diogenes99, I've addressed each of your comments above by making the necessary changes in the prose. Please let me know if there are any outstanding issues here. Thanks again! -- West Virginian (talk) 23:17, 15 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.	Lede Lede must be simplified because it contains details that are in later sections. "Apart from basic facts, significant information should not appear in the lead if it is not covered in the remainder of the article." manual Drop "(also known as St Michael's School)" because it's in a later section. Change "of" to "in" in the text "Grenadier Guards, of which" and drop "as the Colonel" because it's in a later section, or drop this fact from lede completely. Change "on 18 May 1918" to year only, since detail is in later section. Drop "He was buried at Warlincourt Halte British Cemetery near Saulty" because detail is in later section. I suggest the use of short name and birth name in beginning of lede per GA https://wiki.riteme.site/wiki/Olga_FitzGeorge . I suggest leaving out Second Lieutenant in first sentence of lede. Diogenes99, I've addressed each of your comments above by making the necessary changes in the prose. Please let me know if there are any outstanding issues here. Thanks again! -- West Virginian (talk) 23:29, 15 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.
	2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.	Earwig's Copyvio Detector "violation unlikely"
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.	Consider posting coat of arms and description or blazon.
	7. Overall assessment.

Diogenes99, thank you so much for taking the time to perform this review. I'm addressing your comments and concerns as we speak. Please let me know if you have any questions for me in the meantime. -- West Virginian (talk) 23:09, 15 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Diogenes99, I've finished addressing all your above comments and suggestions. Thank you so much for taking the time to complete this thoughtful and thorough review. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do to further improve this article for GA status! -- West Virginian (talk) 23:30, 15 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]