Talk:Gabrielle Roth/GA1
GA Review
[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: BennyOnTheLoose (talk · contribs) 11:48, 4 August 2023 (UTC)
- Thank you very much. I'm away from my desk just now so responses may be a bit slow, but I'll do my best! Chiswick Chap (talk) 13:41, 4 August 2023 (UTC)
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Happy to be challenged on any of my review comments. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 11:48, 4 August 2023 (UTC)
Comments
[edit]Copyvio check
- I reviewed matches over 7% found using Earwig's Copyvio Detector. 40%+ matches with arielkarass.com and dans5rytmer.com appear to have used the Wikipedia article rather than vice versa. The Guardian match is an attributed quote. "five body rhythms: flowing, staccato, chaos, lyrical and stillness" is OK per WP:LIMITED IMO. No issues, although "a way to become conscious through dance" should probably be attributed in the text as a direct quote.
- Noted, attributed.
Images
- The fair use rationale for the Roth image looks appropriate. Manhattan Ensemble Theatre pic is relevant, and has a CC licence; caption and positioning are fine. Optionally, alt text could be added to the images. (MOS:ALT)
- Noted, alt text added.
Sources
[edit]- The Yoga Journal November/December 1990 reference could be more complete (Albert, Mimi "Teachings of an Urban Shaman", pp.70–73
- Done.
- Margaret Wagner reference is lacking details (e.g author, date, and – from the archive copy I'm seeing – the full title)
- Added.
- Awareness mag ref is missing the author.
- Added.
- What makes biblicalbards.org a suitable source?
- Removed.
- Jed Lipinski should appear as Lipinski, Jed
- Fixed.
For example, Nadine Fiume, Adam Barley, Gay Murphy, and Margaret Wagner Archived March 22, 2012, at the Wayback Machine teach the 5 Rhythms.
is a bit untidy with the archive link. The ref and that info may be redundant, actually.- Tidied.
- Simon (2010) is missing the source name.
- Added.
- Facebook is never an ideal source but in context here I think it's acceptable.
- Noted.
- There are a handful of refs not in CS1 format - I don't like this but it's not a blocker to a GA.
- Noted, I'll fix it soon.
- Spot check on
At 26, she was told that she needed surgery and wouldn't dance again and resigned herself to the prognosis.
- no issues.- Noted.
- Spot check on
During this time she visited the concentration camps memorials in Germany that she had studied during college
- no issues.- Noted.
- Spot check on
She trained for three years with Oscar Ichazo
- no issues. ("trained for three years with Oscar Ichazo" appears in the source but IMO WP:LIMITED applies)- Noted.
- Spot check on
Roth directed theatre productions of Savage Love, by Sam Shepard and Joseph Chaikin, at The Culture Project (Mercer Street, New York City
- source has the production's title as "Savage/Love"- Fixed.
- Spot chek on
"an old woman with frizzy dyed red hair, a funny accent, and a long thin stick" who would beat her whenever she made a mistake, initiating in Roth a severe inferiority complex
- no issues. ("severe inferiority complex" appears in the source, but IMO, again, is OK per WP:LIMITED)- Noted.
Text sections
[edit]Early life
- Typically the birth details would be included and cited here rather than in the lead.
entered a depression
- I don't have access to the La Cerra source, but this seems an unusual phrasing.- Reworded.
- Optionally, you could vary the openings of some of the sentences in the secong paragraph (I'm looking at She entered/She became/She found)
- Done.
Career
(Stockbridge, Massachusetts)
- maybe "in Stockbridge, Massachusetts" ? (Similarly for(Rhinebeck, New York)
and(Mercer Street, New York City)
- Done.
and has taught at the
- maybe "and taught at the"?- Fixed.
Roth wrote three books:
not supported by the following citation, but there is a list of three later in the articel so that's OK.- Noted.
Gabrielle Roth and the Mirrors
- italics aren't used for band names. (AFAIK.)- Fixed.
Roth performed and recorded as Gabrielle Roth and the Mirrors,
- supported by the source, but elsewhere it looks like other musicians were involved too, rather than these being all Roth's own work. (And the subheading is "With the Mirrors")- She formed and led the Mirrors. I've weaked the opening text. Please feel free to copy edit here.
The 5Rhythms have been the subject of academic study
- optionally, it might be interesting to add a bit more about these.- I think I'll attempt this after the GA, if that's OK.
Personal life/Works
- The link to Sweat Your Prayers: Movement as Spiritual Practice gives me a message "Book available to patrons with print disabilities". There is another copy on Internet Archive that doesn't have that restriction. Optionally, you could change the link.
- Changed link.
Infobox and lead
Spouse Robert Ansell
isn't mentioned in the body text and doesn't have a citation.- Added and cited.
- Lead is quite short, but acceptable given the length of the article. Optionally you could add something from the second para of Early life, or a bit more about what Roth was looking to achieve through her work.
- Noted.
General
- As you'll know from past reviews, I include some comments where everything is fine, for the record.
- Noted.
- I made the changes suggested by a couple of scripts.Feel free to revert anything that is objectionable.
- All fine, thanks for that!
I'm satisfied that the article meets the GA criteria so am passing it. Nice work, thanks. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 10:34, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.