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Talk:Freakum Dress/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 00:39, 1 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

will begin shortly. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 00:39, 1 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
  • Introduction
    • Needs completely re-writing
    • Dance-pop is not a source genre. Only R&B and Hip-Hop are.

It is sourced. See the review of Prefix Magazine: "with some of the best dance tracks of her career..." Jivesh • Talk2Me 08:08, 1 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

That makes dance a sourced genre not dance-pop.... -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 20:19, 1 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
    • It contains limited elements of funk, funk is not a main genre.
    • "The song's development was motivated by the fact that any woman can remind her man about how the latter in love with her by searching her wardrobe for the dress in which her partner first saw her." doesn't make sense.
    • "In the song, Knowles advises women who have partners with straying eyes to put on sexy dresses and grind on other guys in dance clubs to regain their affections." this is a repetition of the above.
    • "Many of them also complimented the beat that the song features because it melds with the vocal arrangements and the instrumentals used in the song." rewrite.
    • "along with the thirty metallic dresses used in the production" seems like a random addition to the things before it.
    • "The video required about three-quarter a day of filming." bad phrasing.
  • Recording and single selection
    • This is not a single... rename the section Background and conception.
    • "Knowles enlisted Harrison as one of the five co-producers of B'Day, and she arranged for him, Sean Garrett and Rodney Jerkins to be given individual rooms at Sony Music Studios in New York City. Knowles said she fostered "healthy competition" between the producers by going into each of their rooms and commenting on the "great beats" the others were creating." re-write e.g. "Freakum Dress was conceived at Sony Music Studios, in New York City, when Knowles enlisted Harris to co-produce for her album B'Day. She arranged for Harrison, Sean Garrett and Rodney Jerkins to be..." etc.
    • "She and Harrison had previously collaborated on her 2003 single "Crazy in Love" (2003).[3]" would be better said AFTER you say she enlists him for B'Day.
    • "fall short of originality" and "Harrison is like the Indiana Jones of soul, constantly pulling out forgotten gems of the past for sampling [...] You can't help but think: Thank God someone wrote music in the past that can be repurposed now." are best suited to critical reception section.
    • "Freakum Dress" also sees songwriting duties by Beyoncé Knowles herself and Makeba Riddick.[4] Harrison wrote "Freakum dress" to demonstrate how a sassy sartorial item that can help recharge to a relationship." eek! no... it doesn't flow! how bout... Harrison wrote "Freakum dress to demonstrate how a sassy sartorial item that can help recharge to a relationship", with Knowles and Makeba Riddick also contributing."
    • "In an interview with USA Today, Knowles insisted that an outfit which reminds of the best moments in a couple's life, is a necessity for every woman's wardrobe." what's the context or relevance of this quote? In the interview was she referring to the song? If not then this is WP:OR.
    • "Knowles invited an editor of Billboard in a New York recording studio in June 2006. She played "Ring the Alarm" (2006) and "Freakum Dress" for the prospect of the next two singles,[6]" → In June 2006, Knowles invited Tamara Coniff (of Billboard) to a New York recording studio. There she premiered several songs from the album including "Ring the Alarm" and "Freakum Dress", both were cited as possible second singles although in the end it was actually "Ring the Alarm" that became B'Day's second single. Knowles told Coniff that "Freakrum Dress" was one of her favorite songs ever.[6] -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 01:13, 1 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]


I believe you went a bit too fast. This is not my first GAs. Some of my GAs could have been worst but i was given time to correct them. You did not give me time. Why? Jivesh • Talk2Me 08:08, 1 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Jivesh, tell me something frankly. Do you want more GAs or do you want articles that are perfect and near FA quality. If you want the former, god help you, if you want the later, please take into consideration the serious issues raised by the reviewer. I personally checked them myself, and I have to agree with each and every one of them. I can post more for the betterment if you like, but have faith in reviews. There are sometimes an article, which contain too much issues to correct them in a single review, and its better to fail it. Resources should not be utilized over a single review and its better for the community as well as GAN as a whole. — Legolas (talk2me) 12:17, 1 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, i never said the review was wrong. I just said i did not get time to fix the issues pointed. Anyway, you are right. I will work more on the article. Thank you. Jivesh • Talk2Me 16:41, 1 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The thing is... its generally the same issues in every section, the references not supporting what's been claimed, poor prose quality etc. That's just from the first few sections thus rather than rip the whole article its better for you to fix what I've pointed out already, then copy edit to improve the prose quality and then I'll peer-review the rest of the article after which you can feel free to nominate the article again. -- Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 20:18, 1 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Okay. Jivesh • Talk2Me 15:56, 2 February 2011 (UTC)[reply]

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