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Talk:Fram med basfiolen, knäpp och skruva/GA1

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GA Review

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 21:59, 28 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I am going to begin yet another review for you tomorrow in this article! --K. Peake 21:59, 28 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks, as always. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:14, 29 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
My pleasure! --K. Peake 09:12, 29 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

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  • The composed year is not sourced in the body
    • It's in 'Music and verse form', ref 7.
  • I don't think there should be a comma before cello since this article is in Swedish English
    • The punctuation matches that of the Swedish. Mind you I wrote all these articles so I think they're in British English, as it happens!
  • Write out and source the subtitle in the body so it can be kept here
    • Done.
  • Write Jean Fredman here because you've done this in the body
    • Done.
  • Pipe biblical to Bible
    • Done.
  • Shouldn't the metaphors plural be used?
    • It feels right here, an uncountable quantity.
  • Add a new sentence at the end mentioning what critics focused on
    • Done.

Background

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  • First para looks good!
    • Thanks!
  • "during the eighteenth century." → "during the 18th century." per MOS:NUM; go to wherever the original text is on Wiki and change it
    • Done.

Song

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Music and verse form

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  • Per the audio sample page, a US public domain tag is needed
    • Added.
  • "at least twelve times" → "at least 12 times" per MOS:NUM
    • Done.
  • Shouldn't 4
    4     be piped to an appropriate Wiki?
    • Done.

Lyrics

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Reception

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  • Retitle to Reception and legacy
    • Done.
  • Img looks good!
    • Thanks.
  • Remove usage of the before Bellman scholar
    • Done.
  • "in creating something other" → "in making something other" to be less repetitive; creating is used later on in this sentence
    • Done.
  • "Father Berg is thus both" → "He is thus both" to avoid starting two consecutive sentences with his name
    • That'd be ambiguous as to subject (Fredman/Father Berg).
  • "to be both metaphorical priest and Ulla's lover." → "to be both a metaphorical priest and her lover."
    • Done.
  • What is the reason for including a video of Sune Bohlin playing the song?
    • Illustrates the song's continuing popularity.
  • Are you sure "cool off" is an appropriate term for Wiki?
    • Reworded.
  • "Ulla's bed becomes" → "Ulla Winblad's bed becomes" per this not being a real name
    • Done.
  • "Ulla's soul would then" → "Ulla Winblad's soul would then"
    • Done.
  • Pipe extreme unction to Anointing of the Sick in the Catholic Church
    • Done.
  • "Ulla gets her myrtle crown, and Ulla then" → "Ulla Winblad gets her myrtle crown; she then"
    • Done.
  • "Ulla's "song about" → "Her "song about"
    • Done.
  • "be about Ulla's exclamation" → "be about her exclamation"
    • Done.
  • "along with nos." → "along with Nos."
    • Done.
  • Merge the biography para with the below one because they are both about legacy
    • Done.

References

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  • Copyvio score looks fabulous at 13.0%!!!
    • Noted.
  • Add the language parameter to ref 9
    • Done.

Sources

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  • Good
    • Thanks.

Final comments and verdict

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  • Chiswick Chap Very happy to see you covering the issues so quickly again, but there are two things I'm unsure about. As a native speaker of British English myself, I am not sure about the usage of a comma before and in the infobox, also the composition year of 1762 is the part I was talking about when I said there is no sourcing in the body. --K. Peake 21:46, 29 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • I hardly think we need argue about one comma, but the construction is quite ordinary. Consider "Out with the champagne, drink, everybody, let's celebrate!": "Out with the champagne drink, everybody" doesn't work at all. I can assure you that the same holds in Swedish; and further, that translators are religious about preserving punctuation. Chiswick Chap (talk) 09:08, 30 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • 1762: Well spotted. Right, here's Massengale. The comic operetta was first performed in Paris in 1762, and in Stockholm repeatedly between 1763 and 1770. The epistle was written at the earliest in 1768, at the latest 1770. I've corrected the text. Chiswick Chap (talk) 09:14, 30 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
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