Talk:Flight (Grey's Anatomy)/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: TBrandley (talk · contribs) 01:51, 23 July 2012 (UTC)
I'll offer a review shortly. TBrandley 04:18, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- "Flight" is the twenty-fourth and final episode of the eighth season" how about: ""Flight" is the twenty-fourth and eighth season finale". How about that?
- That sounds awkward, and it is ungrammatically correct. It is fine as is. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- File:Derek Shepherd's Bloody Hand.jpg is adding absolutely nothing unless noted. There's no automatic entitlement for screenshots in episode articles, and so they are needed only when they themselves are significant when they are commented by critics, or are in "Production". Unless the rationale is beefed up, when it is not easy to describe, it has to be removed
- The rationale is completely sufficient. That scene won an award by EW, as noted in the rationale (if you read it). You cannot describe it in text alone. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- "24th". Do you mean: "twenty-fourth"
- Done, TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- Add comma after Shonda Rhimes. A little picky there
- Done, TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- "The episode was originally broadcast" → "The episode originally aired"
- That is picky and unnecessary. I believe 'broadcast' is a better word. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- Link Seattle
- Done, TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- "The episode marked Leigh's and Raver's final appearance to the series." should be ""Flight" marked the last appearance of Leigh and Raver in the series."
- Unnecessary; it's redundant to have two consecutive paragraphs open with the same word. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- "The episode opened to mixed reviews from television critics, with some criticizing the death of Lexie, but praising Leigh's performance" should be "The episode received to mixed reviews, with some commentators criticizing the death of Lexie, but praising Leigh's performance" too avoid using the same word too many times, with already know its by television critics/commentators.
- There's no redundancy in that sentence. Also, you are the one who is always asking for it to say television critics. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- Just mention the regular Nielsen rating, the other fantasy content can be in the real "Reception" article
- What 'fantasy content'? TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- "Thursday's No. 1 drama" overall. For critic reviews? For television ratings? For Nielsen ratings? Be more specific, please.
- Done, TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- "their plane". Did they own the plane? If it was a commercial/airline flight, then re-word the grammar to "there"
- To use 'there' wouldn't make sense as it is not a possessive word, but a location word. 'Their' is a common word choice. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- "Dr. Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo), Dr. Lexie Grey (Chyler Leigh), Dr. Cristina Yang (Sandra Oh), Dr. Arizona Robbins (Jessica Capshaw), Dr. Derek Shepherd (Patrick Dempsey), and Dr. Mark Sloan (Eric Dane)". Just make a note example: "The team, etc."
- The names of the physicians involved in the crash are essential to the overall plot. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- Link Seattle for first time in "Plot" section
- Done, TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- Rather than "very first episode" use "pilot episode"
- Done, TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- "Featured music included The Paper Kites' "Featherstone"" could that be expanded upon. If it can't, that is okay. Please look though.
- That was the only song throughout the entire episode. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- "Big Bear Lake, California". Link Big Bear Lake to Big Bear Lake, California, and then link California to the same link as a completely different link
- Done, TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- "Rhimes commented before it aired". I'd imagine I aired a number of times (maybe not yet, but). Please write "originally aired, originally broadcast, etc."
- Done, TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- The whole "Production" needs to be paraphrased. If you can't do it, request for help. Too many quotes, not a enough regular quotes, as per WP:PARAPHRASE. Thank you.
- I'll paraphrase some of it, but it is not a violation to have a few quotes in an article. Also, just a tip, WP:PARAPHRASE is an essay not a policy; so it shouldn't be given for standards in a GAN. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- Done, I've paraphrased all but one quote (not counting the box). TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- I'll paraphrase some of it, but it is not a violation to have a few quotes in an article. Also, just a tip, WP:PARAPHRASE is an essay not a policy; so it shouldn't be given for standards in a GAN. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- Side quote doesn't need "" marks as we know it a quote
- I partially disagree. I think it would be weird without quote marks. But I'm not too attached to the idea, so let me know if its necessary to do. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- "The episode received mixed to positive reviews among television critics". Re-write to: "The episode received mixed to positive reviews from television critics"
- Among is a better word for what I'm describing. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- "mixed to positive". In the lead, it says only "mixed". Which is it? Very confusing to me.
- Done, TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- Link the previous episode
- I didn't create that article yet, lol. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- "it outperformed the previous episode in terms of both viewership and ratings". Is there a citation for that? If not, please remove the info"
- The opening sentence is a summary of the paragraph to come. The citation is given here: "The episode was watched by a total of 11.44 million Americans,[8] a 1.62% increase from the previous episode "Migration", which garnered 9.82 million viewers.[9]" and here: "In addition to its rating being in the top rankings for the night, it was an increase from the previous episode, which netted a 3.5/10 rating/share in the 18–49 demographic.[9]" where it compares the two episodes. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- ""Flight" was originally broadcast on May 17, 2012 in the United States on the American Broadcasting Company (ABC).". Per the above wording it should be: ""Flight" originally aired on the American Broadcasting Company (ABC) in the United States on May 17, 2012."
- Per the above, I find 'broadcast' to be a better word. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- There are some too specific details. Example: "The episode also showed an increase in ratings in comparison to the previous year's finale, which attained a 3.6/9 rating/share in the 18–49 demographic."
- A comparison to the previous season finale is not unnecessary detail; it is broad coverage (a requirement for GAs). I could understand the issue if I was comparing it to a season premiere. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- Something different. How about: "Writing for Entertainment Weekly, X, etc" for the "Reception" section
- Done, TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- Ref. 7, 12: Digital Spy's publisher should be Nat Mags
- Done, TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- Watch out for doubled periods in the references, most notably on the Time, Inc.'s which is caused by cite template glitches caused by it.
- Done- I think I got em all, TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- IMDb before TV.com
- Done, TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
My main concern is paraphrasing for the "Production" section with the article. Other concerns are pretty minor. It is a well-written article though, so great work on all of your current work. This article will be put on hold until the concerns are addressed. TBrandley 04:58, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
- (edit conflict) All done or replied to. TRLIJC19 (talk) 05:37, 24 July 2012 (UTC)
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not) |
---|
|
Overall: |
· · · |